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falling pregnant when only just returning to work ............

(12 Posts)
Dozeyland Wed 14-Sep-11 13:25:25

Hi, I am due back to work soon, its been put off both sides due to a family bereavement, who did you find telling your employer you are pregnant AGAIN and will be taking ANOTHER Mat leave and pay (in my case SMP)

weetabixnraisins Wed 14-Sep-11 13:44:44

It will be a tricky conversation depending on how sympathetic your boss is but a friend of mine went back to work after no.1 already pg with no.2. You just need to remember that it is your right to be pregnant after all and it is your right to have mat pay too. Getting pregnant again is never a guarantee after all, it is a blessing (sorry that sounds really cheesy)

I hope your boss is understanding and HAPPY for you!

dreamfeeder Wed 14-Sep-11 13:48:33

i'm in the same boat. 8 weeks pg and due back at work in 5 weeks. my boss will be livid on the inside but i hope ok on the outside... I don't know how to tell her or when though...??

lels99 Wed 14-Sep-11 13:51:54

I was very lucky and had two consecutive maternity leaves with my holiday entitlement taken in between. Im due back in February and am dreading it. Have only spoken to my employer via email since second pregnancy.

Dozeyland Wed 14-Sep-11 13:52:10

literally found out yesterday i was pregnant again. I think I will just say i know the timing may be inappropriate but i am pregnant again, I will work up to my leaving date but there you go!

Staceroo Wed 14-Sep-11 13:53:02

I think I would love it if I got pg as I was due back to work! Consider yourself lucky and remember it's your right to have babies and mat leave!

dreamfeeder Wed 14-Sep-11 14:02:23

Oh, this pregnancy was well and truly planned!!! I just hadn't dared thinnk about the telling of work.... I wanted to not be back long- think i'll be back 4 or 5 months max.... unless something horrible happens and I have a m/c.

Its true about our right to have babies. I do feel bad on my colleagues who have been struggling without me, and will be looking forward to me being back, it's quite a physical job, and they'll be gutted for the service but pleased for me. I'm feeling a bit guilty now along with my mmc paranoia

SamWidgiz Wed 14-Sep-11 14:17:57

I've just been in the same position.

I went back to work in April and was already pregnant, due in November this year. What made it worse was that my job, although within the same company, was a new job as they wouldn't make my previous job part time, and this new one is.

I waited until after the second scan at 20 weeks to tell them (you don't have to tell them before 25 weeks).

My boss couldn't have been more supportive. It was a difficult conversation in that I was absolutely dreading it, had been putting it off for ages and felt terrible because he kept saying how well I was getting on in the job; but honestly, I couldn't have asked for a better response.

It is difficult, but it has to be done. Ignore anyone who tells you you should tell them straight away - if you don't want to, then don't. You're not legally obliged to tell them before 25 weeks (something like 15 weeks before the due date) and you really have to look after your own interests on this one.

Dozeyland Wed 14-Sep-11 14:27:47

I think I need to adopt the attitude of "I don't care about your remarks and sniggers"

My manager should be fine, but its her boss (my main boss who will be arsey) and will make comments no doubt.

I am meant to be going back soon doing 1 am's a week. So i wont be in there long. its just people prying into my business. asking questions - especially when they're not the best colleagues (two-faced). I wasn't planning on going back but money is money even if it is a small amount.

I am setting up my own business but i wont leave my other job until i am up and running.

it would be beneficial to get smp when i go on mat leave too. whereas if i don't go back - no money at all.

I just don't know how to find those words of I'm pregnant, when I've not even set foot back into my work yet.

i waited until i was 13 weeks last time.

i just feel this time is a lot different as i am only just going to be going back, then announcing i will be leaving again.

SamWidgiz Wed 14-Sep-11 14:37:30

Well, there's no way around it really.

My words were:
Me: *involuntary heavy sigh*
Him: What's the matter?
Me: I've got a confession to make.
Him: What?
Me: I'm going to have another baby.
Him: Grins Aaaahh, lovely.

I'll be honest, whilst he was great, the HR lady wasn't. Although I haven't seen her at all since (I informed HR by email) she did rant about me to my boss. He told her she was being unreasonable and as far as he's concerned I'm doing nothing wrong; but I'm just pointing that out to say I can understand how you feel about your boss's boss's reaction.

gonerogue Wed 14-Sep-11 15:50:36

I did the same - went back to work at theend of June and am due in February.

Like everyoen says htey can't say too much about it to be honest I told my manager as soon as I went back - conversation something along the lines of
"I have something to tell you"
Manager: Oh no ypu're not resigning are you?
Me: No I'm pregnant again
Manager: That's fantastic news.

I was delighted that she was horrified a the thought of me leaving - obviously I had done something right in the previous 3 years prior to mat leave. :-)

Dozeyland Thu 15-Sep-11 10:24:59

I just don't know if i should tell her before i actually go back, or wait until i've had a scan, or atleast a few more weeks?

I think where i've not seen my work lot a lot since last year, its a bit..... awkward.

i've had a lot going on with my family (family bereavement) so not been in a lot. twice. and the staff work different days so only some f them have met DD and some havent and i know i'm going to get horrible comments like "why havent you come in to see us then?"

i dont want to worry because they'e not worth that to be honest, but me being me - i am worrying about how to tell them all, and how to deal with the main boss, the sarcastic staff and just leaving my baby evn if it is only 2mornings a week and until early mat leave (11weeks before i think i want to spend with DD) which is March 2012.

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