Advice/help - moving at an unknown time during pg (and getting very stressed about it!)

[BellaCB]

Help, ladies, because I'm getting really stressed....!

We currently rent in London and when we found out I was pg we decided this would chivvy along our plans to buy a house. The house buying itself is not a massive issue - I'm quite realistic that we might have to buy somewhere that needs some work and that the work will take longer because of the baby - but a couple of weeks ago our landlords announced they were selling our flat out from underneath us in mid-October. Sadly there is nothing we can do about that as they've given us enough notice.

The issue is that I am now 20w and we have just had a house fall through, so we are back to square 1 with only 6 weeks to be out of our flat. We're madly house-hunting at the moment but it is difficult (I'm not really up for traipsing around houses all day, and DP works difficult shifts) especially as we are moving somewhere outside of London - not really a flexible location as its the only place that meets budget, travel needs and being nearer the IL's. We've got some friends and family lined up so that we aren't completely homeless when we have to move out of our flat (on the positive side I reckon we can save a bit of money!) though of course its not ideal being in spare rooms in friends' homes when 25+w.

I'm trying not to get too stressed on the house front, though it might not sound like it - if the worst comes to the worst we will try and rent in our new location - but I am driving myself mad worrying about antenatal classes, midwife appts, and knowing the hospital where I will give birth I feel that around 30+w I would like to have some continuity of care and start to feel settled where I am, but that looks unlikely to happen. And of course it means I'll probably not be able to join any antenatal meetings (NCT books up so far in advance!) and make new friends before the birth and... aargh!

Has anyone had any experience of moving so close to their birth? Any words of advice or pearls of wisdom you could share to calm me down?! Anything would do before I drive DP mad with my stressing, its not like he isn't stressing too!!

[PiggyMad]

Sorry about your stressful situation.
Maybe to ease the stress you should just look straight for somewhere to rent in the new location on say a 6-month tenancy so you can get in asap and get used to the area and then when you are there it will be easier to look for something to buy?

[peachsmuggler]

Poor you bella, that does sound very stressful. I would second the idea of renting in the short term for the following reasons

1. even if you found a house to buy today it is very unlikely you would be in, in 6 weeks and so would be living with family and then moving again, much nearer your due date
   
   
2. if you rent somewhere you'd be able to get in, in 6 weeks and then relax for the rest of the pregnancy and worry about buying when the baby is here.
   
   
3. as renters you will still be in a great buying position but can take your time over finding a place to buy. I would worry that looking to buy just now you might be forced into taking something that was too much of a compromise just to be sure of having somewhere. If you rent you can compromise more as it is only temporary.
   
   We have just moved, when I was 25 weeks pregant and were in a similar position to you. We needed to move from our flat as we wanted more room for new baby and also wanted a house, but at sane time our landlord decided he wanted to sell. We toyed with the idea of buying but in the end we decided to rent for the reasons mentioned above and I must say when we had made the decision I felt a lot happier. I have found the move quite exhausting and wouldn't have wanted to do it any later into this pregnancy.
   
   Hope this helps, and hope it all works out for you.

[Misty9]

I feel your stress! I'm 39+2 and we're planning on relocating to the other side of the country once the 'dust settles' after the birth so to speak. So a slightly different situation to you, but even thinking about moving is stressful IMO, and I've also not bothered with NCT classes given we won't be sticking around the area. My personal views on your main worries though are:

• continuity of care - I don't particularly feel like I've had this anyway, and to be honest as long as you can look around the hospital you'll be giving birth in that's as much as most people get anyway (I'm having a hb). The same with midwives IMO - you'll likely have a different one attending you at birth as in the community and you don't really start regular appts until 30wks or so either.
  

• NCT classes, you can attend postnatally - my friend did this recently as the one for her birth months was fully booked. She's made friends this way and hasn't been a particular issue AFAIK. I'm planning on maybe doing the same in our new area.
  

As for the actual stress of moving, I'd agree with others and suggest finding somewhere to rent now and then looking into buying in 6mths/one year's time. And finding somewhere to rent isn't all plain sailing either! We'll be doing it with a newborn soon...

HTH and good luck with it all - que sera sera and all that :)

[Misty9]

Oh, and if you know where you'll be living you can easily sign up to NCT classes in that area BTW... :)

[laracroft2001]

hey bella!

i have literally moved into a new house (also in London) 3 weeks ago (im 26weeks). I was the same position as you when I found out I was PG - renting and saving to buy a new house ideally just outside London. Obviously prospect of baby meant we wanted to hurry up, so we bought a place in London, brand new, on a shared ownership scheme. Is that an option for you?
so happy we done it as have much more space and I'm free to paint the nursery walls whatever colour I like!!x

[Wombat33]

Bella good luck! I moved house a month ago and I'm now due in 9 days!! Moving so close to d day is stressful but you get settled very quickly when you know you have a deadline. I'd second the advice you've been given to consider renting in your new area. That way you can chill out and focus on the baby and your health for a bit. Hope it all goes well,

[BellaCB]

Thanks everyone! Re all the renters - I'm not averse to that idea myself but we're very concerned about getting a mortgage on maternity pay/possible part-time pay once I return to work. Has anyone else managed to get a mortgage while on maternity leave? (That's why we're thinking of rushing it a bit)

wombat, misty - thanks for that advice! I hadn't thought of it that way, wombat - if certainly would get you doing everything quickly, wouldn't it?!

[Wombat33]

I wasn't on leave when applying for my mortgage but I did have to disclose that I was pregnant because they asked if I was anticipating any "interruption in my usual income" in the near future. One provider refused to take my salary into account when I told them I would be taking mat leave (totally unlawful discrimination in my view, but that's another issue); our other preferred lender just asked for confirmation from my employers of my maternity pay and that I had a job to go back to at the end of it and they were happy to lend on that basis (despite the fact there will be 6 months of leave when I'm on v little money/nothing at all).

[peachsmuggler]

Oh I see Bella, that does complicate things. Would the mortgage you had approved for the house that fell through still stand for the next 6 months?

Does your landlord want you to leave before he puts it on the market? Wonder if you talked to him if he might let you stay longer as he might have trouble getting a buyer in 6 weeks?

[minstrel75]

I agree with other posters who suggest moving into rented accommodation in the area you are looking at buying. That at least will give you a bit of breathing space and let you link up with antenatal classes maybe through your new GP.

It might be stressful but you can get through it provided you aren't trying to do it all yourself. We moved into our new house last Tues when I was 37+2 and although the moving day itself was really tiring I got through because my DH dealt with loads. Just try to call in as much help as you can and don't try and think you can do it all before the baby arrives. I had mad ideas that we'd get carpets taken up and floorboards laid and all sorts but have now completely given up on that and am just focusing on getting thing ready for the baby's room.

Good luck!

[BellaCB]

peachsmuggler - unfortunately I think we have to go, as it's actually a converted building with half a dozen flats and the whole thing is being sold as the landlord was put in administration a few months back. However if there is only a few weeks in it they might be flexible so I will ask.