JUST pregnant and expected to drink!

[pep124]

Hi - I found out on wednesday that I am - very unexpectedly - pregnant. I don't want to tell friends or family until I've told my (new) boyfriend - who lives abroad, and I won't see for a month (and he's off in the desert walking for charity so pretty much uncontactable).
The only problem is that I'm going to a wedding next weekend, and am chief bridesmaid. My parents have been invited too, and I'm a bit of a party girl, and would normally get through a substantial amount of white wine and champers at such an event (in fact I was looking forward to it for just that reason!).
How on earth can I get through the day without people realising? My mum is super observant and on my table for the meal, and is a nurse so if I claimed antibiotics she'd be all over my excuse.
In the evening I'll probably drink tonic and claim it's G&T... but not sure what on earth I can do during the meal?
I think the only thing in my favour is that no-one will be expecting me to be pregnant, as my boyfriend really is very new, he lives abroad, it's the last thing I'd have planned, and I still can't quite figure out how it happened given my age and the distance!
Any tips?!
Thanks

[delilahbelle]

Metronidazole is the antibiotic you want to claim you are taking. You get it for wisdom tooth infections, and you absolutely CANNOT drink on it - it would make you throw up all over the place. This will cover you for your mum asking.

Good luck!

[Eviepoo]

Hmmm - I was going to suggest the good UTI trick, but as your mum is a nurse.

Could you just get away with 1 glass of champers at the toasts, and just say as chief bridesmaid you are staying sober during the day to make sure everything is fine - deal with any last minutes things, but don't worry you plan to get yourself through plenty of G&T's (obviously only T's) once the party kicks off.

My sister who is a big drinker didn't let her hair down until the evening do.

[Shinyshoes1]

you can say you've had a dicky belly, play act from Thursday or something clutching the stomach and give TMI about not being able to get off the loo and you don't want to drink as it might make you have an upset stomach

[pep124]

Ah thanks everyone for your help - obviously all been here before! Loving your medical knowledge delilahbella - i'm actually going to the south of france next weekend with my best pal and folks - might save that one for then, and put some padding around the story before then! Wish me luck... x

[delilahbelle]

I have the knowledge sadly from experience...! Evil evil horrible drug metronidazole :) Enjoy the wedding!

[MockCroc]

I have found it easiest to "have a drink" but not actually drink it. I have managed a whole weekend with both my parents and the inlaws and three evenings out with the inlaws where my glass is filled up and I fiddle with it from time to time and hold it in my hand sometimes while talking, but it doesn't get drunk. People don't notice whether your glass is going down at something like a wedding because the waiters will be topping glasses up. I did the same thing yesterday at a champagne reception: wandered around with half a glass and then put it down on the side a little while later. Far easier than the illness line because I am a terrible liar about things like that! Good luck!

[ComeWhineWithMe]

What mockcrock said.

[Alliwantisaroomsomewhere]

I might have to take up MockCroc's advice tomorrow night. DH and I have been invited to a party and no one there knows about my pregnancy and, like you, OP, I am a white wine drinker! Love the stuff!!! Though I cannot face it now at all, being nearly 9 weeks. That is the only saving grace - I cannot stomach the thought .

[create]

Yes, I agree with MockCroc too. As a side issue though, I thought tonic wasn't recommended in pregancy because of the quinnine. Could be out of date (or just plain wrong) though

[HardCheese]

I've always made it plain I wasn't planning children, yet am 9 weeks aged 39, and recently had to invent reasons why I wasn't drinking throughout an entire pre-planned holiday with friends (I usually drink quite a bit) and why I wasn't up for the kind of steep 20 mile mountain hikes I normally enjoy. I exaggerated a slight existing foot condition into 'no drinking and not too much strenuous walking', but I was never that sure I was convincing anyone... But as you say, OP, when no one expects you to be pregnant, you can get away with stuff!

[VaginaPuddleduck]

I found out I was pregnant at the beginning of December and got through the party season and xmas with my parents (who we hadn't yet told) without anyone noticing by doing this - accepting a drink every time someone offered and disposing with it somehow later.

At my works xmas party the waiters were pouring wine and I accepted the first glass and let it sit there during the entire lunch just didn't have a top up. No one noticed.

IMO, people only notice when you start saying no. They don't pay any attention what you do with it once you have it.

[VaginaPuddleduck]

I am the original pisshead btw. My Mum claims she knew I was pregnant the second time round because my Dad offered me a glass of wine after a really long day at work and I said I'd get one in a minute!

[VaginaPuddleduck]

Oh I see mockcroc got there before me

[KikiRC]

In my experience, everyone else will be so tiddled after a few hours that they really won't notice what anyone else is drinking. In the evening bit you could always drink small cokes/ lemonades that look like you're on spirits.

Incidentally, I did once have a dicky tummy at a wedding reception and didn't drink from the meal onwards- I don't think a single person acknowledged it.

[HerdOfTinyElephants]

I also agree with MockCrock. People will notice if you turn down a drink, but they don't notice whether you are drinking it or not. It works even better if you have a DH/DP there and can swap your glasses back and forward so that you can top up "your" empty glass, but it still works without that, particularly at a wedding where you are circulating and talking to lots of different people.

[CaptainMartinCrieff]

We had an issue similar to this. On holiday with my parents, DB and DSIL. I was 7 weeks and didn't want to tell them. I didn't drink the whole time and bizarrely none of them actually noticed. Be subtle, you're going to be busy, you are chief bridesmaid, they might be enjoying themselves so much they don't notice.

[pep124]

I went with your advice mockcrock/vaginapuddleduck - accepted drinks, but just didn't drink them... I also hid a bottle of schloer in my hotel room, and found excuses to pop back there twice and pour my champagne down the sink (outrageous under normal circumstances, I know) and replace it with schloer. Then took it back downstairs and joined in the drinks and toasts with everyone else.
Really really hope tonic isn't bad for me as I drank about a litre of the stuff....
Thanks soooo much for your help everyone - greatly appreciated - think I'm going to love this site! xx

[kri5ty]

haha pep i was going to post.. then realised the wedding would have been over!

excellent idea with the schloer!! I love it!

[mrsb33]

simular for me too, i found out i was pregnant wednesday also, and was having the girls round friday. so got some schloer, filled up my glass b4 they got there and topped it up whenever i went to the toilet, all night.
no one noticed, the only time it got a bit hairy was when there was a bit of rose left in the bottle and they topped up my schloer!!! too funny.
this weekend is going to be funny, its a long weekend with the girls, they have brought frech wine and champain especially for the occasion......
ive already planned the seed i wont be drinking as me and dh had made a no drinking pack for a whole month as were TRYING for a baby and have been for 11 months>>> they said, start it after the weekend< we will chnage your mind?? help!!!!!

[pep124]

oh no poor you mrsb! I've kinda got the same - off to visit my folks in france this wkend, so told my mum I was on a diet so I could use that as an excuse (for booze, and rejecting all the lovely soft cheese and pate), and she said 'ok, not much cheese, but lots of fizz'!! The only person i've told is one of my best mates and she's coming with me, so I might also be pushing some of my drinks onto her when no-one's looking. Her liver's going to suffer, poor girl!
I'm going to stick to the same - taking drinks and disposing of them, and replacing with non-alcoholic versions... maybe you can do the same this weekend with your friends? once they're drunk i'm sure they won't notice, honestly at the wedding no-one batted an eyelid and I was totally nervous beforehand...
Good luck this weekend - and with everything!

[lastonetoleaveturnoutthelights]

Speaking as someone who lived in Africa and thought tonic might keep the mozzies at bay (hence it was the traditional sundowner among colonial types), I can promise that tonic no longer has quinnine in it: it's an ingredient of the past. So drink as much as you like!

Personally I've discovered non-alcoholic beer this summer, which actually goes down very well and even DH says he can't tell much of a difference at all. I hear Sainsburys does non alcoholic wine too, but not tried it.