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Pregnancy After MMC(23 Posts)
I suffered an MMC in May, and have been trying to get pregnant again. We just found out that we have beeen successful!
I know that a miscarriage is rarely the fault of anything, but it makes you think about the way you deal with a subsequent pregnancy. Did anyone do anything differently second time around? If anyone has any advice I would appreciate it. I'm trying not to drive myself nuts with this, but I am trying to take the best care of me and my baby as possible.
I got pregnant two months after having a mmc. I had a lot of bleeding in the first trimester - not sure if this was related to the ERPC, probably not but it made the start of this pregnancy very traumatic as you can imagine.
The main difference I found though is psychological - things going wrong in pregnancy is no longer an abstract idea which happens to other people. Once it's gone wrong for you, you feel the emotions as well as the physicality of it and it makes you feel much more vulnerable to things going wrong again, even though logically you know that statistically things are much more likely to all be fine.
Congratulations! Keep focussing on the positives, keep busy in real life, and don't spend too long reading sad stories on mumsnet!
Firstly, congrats! I too had a MMC, last June. It took until Oct for my periods to come back and I got pregnant right away.
If anything, I was more relaxed in the next pregnancy for the first tri at least - I drank the odd half of ale - I think because I was so convinced that it was all going to go wrong again. I took the odd day off sick when I felt rundown (I have quite a stressful job) rather than soldiering on like I did the previous time. And my 4 week old DS is now snoozing on my knee, so this laid-back attitude must have rubbed off on him! Good luck, and try not to waste this lovely time worrying about things you have no control over. My midwife told me that one MC is really common, but it's less common to have more than one, so chances are it'll all be fine
Hi, sorry for your loss, I've had 2 mmcs and am currently 17 weeks pg and have found lots of helpful support and advice on the newly upduffed after miscarriage thread in the pregnancy loss section come And join us we are there for eachother until we feel brave enough to move over to the pregnancy grads thread and the ladies there are lovely and all as nuts as eachother xxx
Congrats and sympathy. I'm 21 weeks after 2 MMC.
DH & I were very anxious this time and got the GP to refer us to EPU for an early scan (6 wks) which was really helpful as I couldn't get a MW appointment until after 8 weeks (which was the age of both MMCs).
What we did different was to tell friends much earlier than previous pregnancies so they could pray for and support us. That would not suit everyone but it had been hard to tell friends (twice) that I'd miscarried before they'd even known we were expecting!
I'd been prescribed a very low dose of aspirin by my Dr which I took during my pregnancy following a MMC. I felt very well during my pregnancy and now have a beautiful 4yr old DD.
I agree with Cattleprod. I got pg 3 months after a MMC and this pg has felt totally different. As she said, once you've had one, a mc is no longer something that happens to other people. So I have been far more anxious this time and far more cautious. I'm 19 weeks now and haven't bought so much as a scratch mitt. With DD (pre-mc) I was kitted out by now.
Hi Louisa, congratulations on the BFP! I don't really have much to add to what the others say - I found an early scan at say, 8 weeks, was really helpful for reassurance. I just had to force myself to take the pregnancy one day at a time, saying to myself "I'm pregnant today, I'll worry about what happens tomorrow, tomorrow". It's hard not to be v. stressed, especially in the first 12 weeks but I found that it's had an impact on the way I've viewed the whole pregnancy (I'm 34 weeks now) - it's like Cattleprod says, it makes you realise that pregnancy loss isn't just something that happens to other people. It does definitely get easier though, and getting past the 12 week scan point is a huge milestone.
I found lots of reassurance on MN, there's a freakout room over in conception, and there's a thread of people pregnant after miscarriage in pregnancy. Stay well away from the miscarriage threads though, they will mess with your head!
Gwen I'm 30 weeks and have bought one packet of babygrows!!
I have to say the freakout/preg after mc boards aren't for everyone. There are lovely, lovely women there and a huge amount of support, but I found the fact that all of them had had miscarriages, some many times, and some much later on in pregnancy, kind of normalised pregnancy loss, made it seem much more common than it actually is and increased my anxiety and irrational fear that things were destined to go wrong again.
I also found the 12 week scan did very little to diminish my anxiety, it was only after the 20 week scan that I started to relax and feel positive. All very strange emotions as I'd never experienced depression/anxiety before, even after the mmc I felt no sense of loss, just a bit disappointed rather than devastated.
Louisa hopefully you'll manage to enjoy your pregnancy without getting bogged down with pessimistic thoughts. I found it really helped getting out in the fresh air, seeing friends and doing normal, enjoyable things. And contact your midwife if you are feeling down, they can help you.
I think it is going to take a successful 12 week scan before I can properly relax. Last time I had no signs that anything was wrong until I went for my scan and they told me it had died a few days before. As I even saw the baby on the screen, I think I'm desperate for a scan with a healthy baby on it.
I will get myself to the docs this week and see what they say. Thank you everyone for your help.
I got pregnant straight after my miscarriage, despite the hospital telling me to wait at least once period before trying again. To be honest, i like you worried myself sick over the same thing happening again but so far everything has been perfect and now i'm 35 weeks
I was convinced at the time the reason for the miscarriage was my fault, but now i realise is wasn't anything i did and it was just 'one of those things'.
Try not to drive yourself mad and enjoy every moment of this new pregnancy
Good luck xx
Hi louisa congratulations on the pregnancy. I totally get where you are coming from as I had a MMC which was only discovered at my 12 wk scan, at which point I had no reason to believe anything had gone wrong - no pain, no bleeding, nothing. But something had gone wrong at about 9 weeks I was told, just my body had decided not to do anything about it.
Anyway I fell pregnant again a couple of months after the ERPC and was totally paranoid, telling nobody this time but generally doing the same things as I did with the first pregnancy, mainly because I didn't do anything wrong the first time, it was just bad luck (which when I look back now I see as a blessing that I wasn't forced to make a horrible decision myself - nature took over). I told myself I would stop worrying after the 12wk scan, but that came and went and I still worried. I think I finally calmed down after the baby started moving and I could feel it at about 18wks. Anyway that pregnancy was completely normal and my DD is now 2 years old today and I have number 2 on the way (I am 24 weeks pregnant today) and I have to say even with this one I have been more paranoid than I was with my very first pregnancy. Like others have said, once you have had a MMC you no longer think it can only happen to others. One thing I have bought this time is a home dopler which has proven very helpful in reassuring me things were ok, especially when my very insensitive midwife announced she couldn't hear the heartbeat at 16weeks, but that I shouldn't worry as it was "probably" ok - I bought the home dopler the same day and 2 days later when it arrived I had found the heart beat in less than a minute. It was the best £20 I have ever spent.
I don't think there is any point in me telling you not to worry, because you probably will anyway, just know that it is normal and try to get reassurance from all the people posting who have gone on to have more successful pregnancys. Good luck and heres wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy.
Hi all I have suffered 3 misscarriages in the last two years.. Does any one know of any tips to conceive as we have been trying for a while now and just recently found out about the third loss... is there really hope for a 42 year old woman like me to conceive or am i too old? any advice please would be appreciated from u lovely ladies xx
I've been to see the doctor today, and he's checked blood pressure etc, everything is fine. He's booked me in with the midwife early, so that she can then book me in for an early scan.
I know that finally getting to see a healthy scan will do me the world of good, and help to settle my nerves, but I'm so scared that something will go wrong again. I really need to find a wayof settling myself down or I'll be a gibbering wreck by the time I get to the scan.
Anybody struggling with anxiety etc. in pregnancy following a mc should know there are additional support midwives available to help you - your usual midwife or doctor should be able to refer you. I saw mine yesterday and found it really reassuring to go through my experiences and concerns with her. I now have information about accessing further support should I need it.
Glad it's looking good Louisa - try to focus on the fact that this is a completely different pregnancy, made from a different egg and a different sperm, and it is much more likely that things will be ok than not.
chevchina sorry about your losses - have the hospital offered you any tests to see if there is a reason for your mc? Many problems are treatable - I have a friend who had a healthy pregnancy after several mcs because she took some sort of medication for the first trimester to stop her body rejecting the embryo. There's plenty of hope - you're not too old!! As for conceiving, forget the ovulation charts, temperatures, windows of fertility etc. and just have sex every other day throughout the month (except for the 'messy' bit obv!) - relax and have fun with your DP and fingers crossed you'll get a BFP soon!
Been to see the midwife today, and she's booked me in for an early scan in 3 weeks time, and my 12 week one after that.
Seeing a healthy scan will certainly help me to relax, and my midwife is brilliantly reassuring. Just want to fast forward the next 3 weeks now!
thanks for the kind words cattleprod hun but it seems i lost baby number 3 as a chemical pregnancy but midwife puzzled over how i lost as I had a positive then days after a negative and no the dr or hospital have not offered me any medication or help it seems they have given up on me... arwell me and hubby on our own for the time being fingers crossed things will get better.. gd luck louisaJF hope u get what u have always wanted hun i know what u r going thru xx
Went to the midwife today to get booked in for my early scan and the hospital trust have moved the goalposts and now won't offer an early scan unless I am bleeding or have had three miscarriages. Still won't know if everything is ok for another three weeks!
That's quite common depending on what area you are in louisa. I tried for an early scan with this baby after my MMC last year, but as no bleeding or pain couldn't get one (although you could always lie if desperate). I waited til 12 weeks, and it helped me as I felt then that there was a milestone reached already, iyswim. Am not 25 weeks, and the 20 week scan and 24 week viability point have all helped me. I even bought something for the baby last week after being very cautious. Good luck!
Well, I've been for my 12 week scan today and everything is perfect and beautiful. I'm so incredibly happy. Thanks everyone for your advice and experience.
First congrats on the pregnancy!
I can completely feel for you re not getting early scans. I'm on of the lucky ones who has had recurrent m/c who does get early scans, but before I qualified, I would pay for a private 'dating' scan at 9 weeks. Most missed miscarriages happen before 9w but you don't find out for some time after. Miscarriage rates after a healthy heartbeat is seen at 9 weeks are the same as after 12w, so it can be very reassuring.
I had 2 mmc before I fell pregnant with my son and oddly I spotted throughout the first trimester with him (so had early scans) and never spotted with my miscarriages. once I was past 12 weeks, and most imprtantly once quickening happened, I relaxed into the pregnancy and thought no more of loss.
With my current pregnancy (after another 6 losses including one termination for anencelphaly), it's taken much longer to feel comfortable, possibly because in the intervening 5 years I've got to know women who have had late term losses and stillbirths. You can really freak yourself out with too much knowledge! But again being able to feel baby moving is a great comfort.
All the best for the rest of your pregnancy
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