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Help me, please!

(22 Posts)
MiauMau Mon 04-Jul-11 21:23:50

Hello,

I'm 8 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and every new mum-to-be knows it can be a bit scary at time. It is especially daunting for me as I'm away from my family and I don't have any friends with children that I can ask for help and advice (that's what happens when you're a woman in a male working environment).
I had an extremely disappointing first appointment at my GP, that lasted less than 5 minutes. He barely looked at me or even examine me, he just booked a scan gave me the free prescription form and a nasty looking magazine for pregnant women. It all felt so anti-climatic and sad! The only half decent thing that came out of that appointment was that he said that I wouldn't have to deal with him again, that it all be done at the hospital.
A couple of days later I got two letters from King's college hospital saying that I had my first appointment on August 5th and my first scan on August 22nd! Is it me or shouldn't these two major appointments be much earlier?
I know that as a mum-to-be, I might be a bit paranoid but, I feel really abandoned in this whole situation.
So, I started looking at private care and found that at King's College there is this birth clinic option www.thebirthclinic.co.uk/
Has anyone had any experience of this? Even if it is at another hospital can you give me some pointers?
What attracts me to the midwife package is the amount of accompaniment, which is perfect for someone like me who really doesn't have much help around.
It is a lot of money, but my partner and I feel prepared to do it if the conditions are the right ones.
Do you think that this is the right choice?
Can you give me any other options within private care in London?
Thank you all for reading!

nickschick Mon 04-Jul-11 21:25:38

Really nothing much happens until about the 16 weeks mark even if your paying for it smile.

spookshowangel Mon 04-Jul-11 21:31:10

from what remember you get your booking in app, dating scan and you see midwife once a month or so till you are about 20 (?) weeks then you see her every two weeks till you have the baby. there is no fanfare, its a massive deal to you but they do this every day. sorry. if you have any worrys call them right away but if not just enjoy this time as much as poss.

yummymango Mon 04-Jul-11 21:31:30

I don't have any experience of private care, sorry. But I did feel pretty abandoned after seeing my GP when I first found out I was pregnant so I know how you feel. It seems like it's pretty normal though. It is quite nerve wracking though when it's your first baby and you don't know what to expect.
Good luck and congratulations!

LunaticFringe Mon 04-Jul-11 21:36:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anomaly Mon 04-Jul-11 21:45:35

I remember that anticlimatic feeling leaving the doctors, but to be fair there really isn't much for them to do. Your scan date looks late to me so I would ring and query it - last time a mistake on my paperwork put my scan back by four weeks but a phonecall sorted it. I found midwife appointments especially when you can hear baby's heartbear are much nicer. But if you are a low risk pregnancy there really is no reason for them to see you. I would wait before bothering with private care, your next appoinment will be with a midwife and they will show much more interest and support.

Tuppenyrice Mon 04-Jul-11 21:50:31

You could look at the birth centre in Tooting, South London.

SelinaDoula Mon 04-Jul-11 21:54:06

Have you considered a Doula?
doula.org.uk/
Thay could give you emotional support through you're pregnancy.

schmee Mon 04-Jul-11 21:56:09

Agree with anomaly - that's too late for your nuchal scan if you are 8 weeks pregnant now (would make you 14 weeks plus and you need to be under 13.5 weeks pregnant I think).

But yes, unless there is something wrong, you won't see the midwife or the doctor very much. If you can afford private care it might be worth considering, but it is very very expensive.

MiauMau Mon 04-Jul-11 21:56:25

Thank you for all of you're replies. I pretty much guessed that that was the standard treatment at the GP, but I still feel that it could have gone better. A kind word goes a long way smile
At this point in time I don't know if I'm considered high or low risk, I think that I'm just on the border due to my age (34).

LunaticFringe Mon 04-Jul-11 22:19:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crazyhead Mon 04-Jul-11 22:25:12

I agree with other posters that your first scan is late - should be at the end of July to be at 12 weeks, end of August would be 16 weeks. I'm 34 too and this certainly doesn't seem to be regarded as anything but normal by anyone I've seen. HOWEVER the Down risk etc is dated by your due date not your age now, so if you're 35 by your due date, you are prob (like me) tipping into a category of chromosomal risk where you may at least want to have your nuchal scan. Of course, it is a gradual rise in risk only...

Other thing to say is that although you aren't being seen now, if anything goes at all wrong, then you'll suddenly find that the machinery of a good hospital like King's kicks in. I had bleeding and again scare in the first trimester and was suddenly embroiled in weekly scans. Now all is fine again and I'm glad to be away from the docs to be honest. So bear in mind, if you need the care it is there, but it is in many ways nicer to be away from all that - this is a natural process and you will get into the mindset quickly

MiauMau Tue 05-Jul-11 22:39:29

Thank you all again!
I've contacted the hospital and they changed the dates to 20th for the first appointment and 4th for the scan. Apparently the GP gave them the wrong dates hmm
I've decided to carry on under the NHS for now and see what happens.

NorthLondonDoulas Tue 05-Jul-11 23:12:14

Thats good to hear... i was just about to say are you sure your GP got the dates correct lol. You will usually have your 1st midwife appointment and scan at 12 weeks, special bloods done between 16-18 weeks and as long as all is ok another dating scan at 20wks. (Some hospitals offer another one at 34 weeks too). Another option for you other than private care would be to look into having a Birth Doula as they can offer you knowledge, guidence and support throughout your pregancy and are a familiar & friendly face that you trust during your labour and are a fraction of the cost of private care lol. I have been a Doula for quite a few years now, if you would like any more info about doulas and what we do please dont hesitate to get in touch. Also just to let you know that i have been at Kings for quite a few births and the staff there have been great. Good luck.x

hermionejgranger Wed 06-Jul-11 07:11:56

Hi MiauMau - if you're 8 weeks does that mean you're due in Feb? If so come and join the Feb baby bus here - LOTS of ladies due in Feb and as well as us scaredy first timers there are a lot who are on 2nd/3rd time round smile

MiauMau Wed 06-Jul-11 20:44:29

NorthLondonDoulas I have indeed heard about doulas before. I read a really good (and extremely gruesome) book called "Birth - A History" by Tina Cassidy and she mentioned doulas in it as a great support system. I have been considering it as I am so far away from my family but, just need more info about it.
hermionegranger I have just joined the bus, are you there as well?

kalo12 Wed 06-Jul-11 20:52:23

its very normal, Kings college hospital is the no1 hospital in the world for foetal medecine, they invented the scan i thin and the amniocentesis test.

Are you defo 8 weeks pregnant? they normally do their scans between 11 weeks and 13 weeks and 5 days, even if they have to double/ triple book. You always have to wait ages at kings becasue they als ohave to fit in all the emergencies and high riskers so be prepapred to be there for at least 3 hours waiting.

they are very very good.

MiauMau Wed 06-Jul-11 21:00:42

thanks, it is great to know that! According to the gp (and a couple of websites... feeling a bit paranoid) I am 8 weeks, as my last period was on may 8th.

hermionejgranger Thu 07-Jul-11 07:17:43

MiauMau yep I'm there smile due on 20th Feb! It's a fab bus with lots of support x

k4mi Thu 07-Jul-11 12:48:51

Hi Miau Mau,

Just wanted to say that i am 12wks and felt exactly the same as you after seeing the GP! Perhaps we have the same GP as i am also going to be going to Kings.

I am 29 and this is my first baby, yes it is very scary and you definitely feel like when you go in they aren't paying attention to you. I was asked to choose my hospital at the GP and at that point I had absolutely no idea where / what i wanted or what was happening. They gave me no info / guidance at all.

I should warn you that I have been for my booking appointment at Kings Midwife centre, it was not a good experience. The MW couldn't spell, really offered me no opportunity to ask questions about the development of the baby / choosing what tests to have. It was an odd experience. You only go there once though at my Docs so i am hoping the midwife i see from now on will be better. I have an unusual shaped womb which means i need to be monitored more closely. The midwife at Kings knew nothing about this and made an appointment for me to see the Obstetrician at 6 months. Many women with my condition lose their baby around 5-6 months so i couldn't believe this could be correct procedure but she basically didn't have a clue.

I rang the hospital and spoke to the midwife in Suite 8 (where you will have your scan). She was great and has re booked me earlier and answered all my questions. Don't worry if you need to ask questions / kick up a fuss. One of my best friends is a GP and says there are many who are hopeless in London and miss things. Be sure you look out for yourself.

Where are your family by the way? Mine are also a few hours away which makes things sad but i have good friends (without babies) down here. You can also look at joining an NCT group which will be god for support depending which area you live in.

K4mi

MiauMau Thu 07-Jul-11 13:57:37

k4mi I'm from Portugal, but saying that I'm really lucky as although my partner is totally scared of anything medical , he is very supportive and wants to be present at the birth and my best friend (and future godmother) is also going to be there and present throughout the pregnancy. Someone needs to hold my partner's hand when it all happens, right? :D
I'm so sorry that you have been unlucky and really hope that you are now getting the proper treatment and consideration that you deserve!

NorthLondonDoulas Thu 07-Jul-11 16:41:54

MiauMau If you would like more info on Doulas i would be happy to answer any questions you have, you can contact me on here obviously lol or direct at Victoria@northlondondoulas.co.uk or www.northlondondoulas.co.uk I will do what i can to point you in the right direction.x.x

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