Childbirth - before, during and after

[Newmummytobe79]

I've just popped over to childbirth for the first time and have darted back here as some of the threads scare the hell out of me! I've ignored the fact I have to give birth ... until now (nearly 31 weeks), but realise reading up on it may help a bit! :)

Please can any mums on here tell me what it's like afterwards? I will gradually move on to things like the actual pain/experience, but I'd want to know things like:

How long do DH and me get with baby before we're moved to a ward?
How long until you can have a shower?
If I had baby one hour before visiting ... would they be allowed in?

I know these q's are a bit daft in the context of birth ... but I'd like to know thanks :)

[Rootatoot]

Hi Newmummy....I'm 32 weeks now & starting to feel same. Do you get a hosptial tour? I'm going on ours next week. Need to get some questions prepared.

[mosschops30]

From my experience:
Me and dh had about an hour with new baby, tea and toast etc, lovely special time
I got up and showered on the delivery suite before going to the ward
They were quite strict on visiting, but partners and siblings could come in anytime

Hth

[NightLark]

You need to ask at your hospital as they are all different but my experience was:
baby born in the middle of the night (about 2am), about 2-3 hours recovery in the labour room, then I was moved to ward sometime around 5am and DH had to leave and go home. Partners are not generally allowed on wards.

I could have a shower in the labour room after I was stitched up.

No idea about the visiting, but you really may not want visitors other than your DH an hour after giving birth!

[Newmummytobe79]

Hi Rootatoot! Yes we do but I've not booked on it yet - will get this sorted asap and hopefullly they'll answer my questions :)

[Newmummytobe79]

Thanks Nightlark and mosschops30 - it's good to know we'll have time together.

I really don't want visitors for a good while afterwards but I know they'll be desperate to visit as soon as possible.

I love my inlaws - but I know they'd all turn up as soon as I go into labour if they could and that scares me a bit :(

Sure they won't ... but worry myself about it!

[mumatron]

with all of mine, we had about an hour after delivery for skin to skin, tea and toast and getting cleaned up etc.

with ds it was the afternoon about 3.35pm so by the time we got to the ward, say 5pm ish, I had visitors as normal.

dd1 was early hours so xp had to leave when I went to the ward and could visit as normal later in the morning.

but with DD2 I had a private room so I had visitors as and when I wanted them.

Good luck with the birth!

[msbuggywinkle]

With DD1 we asked for a 6hr discharge so DP stayed the whole time (baby born 7.15am!) and we didn't go to the ward. I had a shower in my delivery room, and no visitors for a week after we got home.

[mumatron]

newmummy can you not tell them when you go into labour? i had to do that with dd2 as mil wanted to come and wait in the corridor.

If your not up to visitors tell them now, tell them you will be happy to have visitors once you are home.

[BellaBearisWideAwake]

DS2 born at 8pm, got to ward about midnight. DH then went home. Had a shower before gong to the ward.

DS1 was in midwife unit. Born at 1am an DH went home about 4am.

[Imnotaslimjim]

My experience was:

DS arrived at 7.20am, I didn't get onto the post-natal ward until after 12 and missed lunch. didn't complain too much though cos MW watchs DS for me while DH took me to cafe for lunch

Had a shower within an hour of birth, cleans PJ's on etc. Was exhausted and wanted to sleep but no-one cleaned up the bed in the delivery room so only had an uncomfortable chair to sit in :(

Visitors were allowed that afternoon

[Isthreetoomany]

dd1 was born in the early evening, we had a few hours in the delivery room with just us, then around 11pm my husband went home and I was taken to the post natal ward. Didn't shower till the morning. Parents/in laws visited that afternoon (policy at my hospital was quite strict on visiting hours and they were not allowed in till 3pm). then when had dd2 I did the 6 hr discharge, so just had a few hrs after birth with just us, I had a bath and then went home. Saw grandparents the next day at home.

At the hospital I went to it was all pretty high security on the delivery suite with people needing to buzz in and out - my in laws wouldn't have got past security if they'd tried!

[BellaBearisWideAwake]

Yes same here re security. You couldn't just walk in and thee wouldn't have been any patience with people waiting around on the corridor!!

[Pamsie]

This thread is very useful, thanks ladies. I wonder if I can hijack with a question?

It might to TMI as well, but I was wondering about the first shower after giving birth. How painful is it? I mean, I would think that private parts would still be really sore, so how does one manage to wash properly down there? Soap or no soap? How uncomfortable is it to even walk to the shower room especially if you've had stitches?

Again sorry for the hijack and TMI. As you can probably tell, this is my first and rather nervous.

[Newmummytobe79]

I want to know that too Pamsie! :)

[mumatron]

well, I never had stitches so I can't answer that.

The first shower is heaven! a tip I was given before dc1 was to try and do your first wee, while in the shower. helps if you have grazes apparently.

I alway take a nice shower gel and new pj's to change into.

It's almost as good as the tea and toast!

[nicolamumof3]

If you don't want inlaws or any other visitors then i'd say it is up to your dh to express this to them. Don't feel bad or guilty, this is your precious time with new baby and you will be exhausted. Its your call. I would feel the same but fortunately my inlaws live 300 miles away, so only had to deal with my parents whom im very close to and tbh i'd be happy if they were in delivery room so not an issue for me.

Regarding showering etc, Its not something i've rushed to do, normally im a bit ocd but always felt a bit wobbly after the birth tbh. So could points you've raised their pamsie I've had three babies and the first two i had a bath which was much nicer than standing up in a shower tbh. But its whether one is available. I know the new hospital im going to only has showers, but its all private rooms so should be fairly easy, most have a chair to sit in in the shower in case you don't feel up to it. I got my dh to come with me and wait right outside as i'd had an epidural last time and didn't feel quite right.

[BellaBearisWideAwake]

It all depends on the extent of tears and grazes. In my case of second degree tear and labial grazes it sting a bit but you just have to be gentle! Worse is the first wee, that really stung, take a jug of warm water and pour over as you wee

[BornSicky]

I was in the delivery room for about 8 hours after giving birth before they moved me onto the ward. this was overnight.

I had an assisted delivery, lots of drugs, stitches and a catheter, so wasn't allowed to have a shower until i could stand and the catheter had been removed; I think it was about a day later. TBH, I couldn't have cared less!

Because I was moved onto the ward in time for breakfast, I had a few hours just with my baby before visiting hours in the afternoon. Was wonderful to just snuggle and recoup my energy before people came to see me.

[wigglesrock]

We had about an hour, just the three of us, had a bath in delivery suite, as soon as I wanted, which to be honest was as soon as stitches etc were done. Moved down to the ward, no partners. Visiting hours were as normal, so if you had the baby and were ready to go back up to the ward during visiting hours you could have visitors straight away but no visitors outside the hours, no exceptions. Also no-one allowed down to delivery rooms apart from partner, not even to wait, I had my 3rd 4 months ago and there was never any exceptions to the waiting or visiting rules. Good luck, you'll be fine, for first pee use a wet muslin cloth/face cloth and hold it up to your bottom, its not as bad as you think

[memphis83]

All hospitals are different, but we were on the ward within the hour, partners are allowed on ward between 11am and 8pm, and we were put on ward just as visiting started so fil visited straight away, but at local hospital they only allwed 2 visitors other that dp per visiting time so if one set left after 30 mins another couldnt arrive, no kids apart from your own allowed to visit, sil has just given birth this week, at different hospital, she waited 2 hours to be stitched and then went hime 2 hours later staying on the delivery suite the whole time, her mum was allowed to sneak in to see baby even though no visitors can usually go on.
get some lavender, put a few drops in a shallow bath and kneel in it, it will help sooth and heal, I did this everyday for a week, also take arnica for a few weeks up to DD as this will help heal bruising, I did both of these and even though I had over 30 stitches and bad bruising was getting up and about fine within 48 hours. I think you have done the right thing not thinking about the birth/pain, I didnt its going to happen regardless so no point worrying yourself about it.
good luck

[QueenofDreams]

pamsie avoid soap, just let the water wash over you. I had to get dp to help me walk to shower after ds was born, but more because I was exhausted than because of pain from stitches.
After dd was born I was too exhausted to get to the shower so dp just mopped me down with towels.

[Icoulddoitbetter]

I had an emcs so maybe a bit different. DS came at 1.20pm, and I was on the labour ward till about 6-7pm while they found me a bed. My DH came up to the ward with me, visiting hours for partners is 8am till 8pm.

My BF visited me on the labour ward at about 5.30, I asked permission from the MW and was very happy to see her. The sights and sounds were an eye opener for my childless friend!!!!!! My in-laws came the next night.

Shower-wise I think it was 2 days later (though I'm very hazy on this), as I had real problems getting info from the ward MW's about whether I was allowed to get the wound wet or not, v annoying.

[pinkgirlythoughts]

I had a bath rather than a shower, as I'd had an epidural so my legs were still a bit wobbly. I completely forgot I'd had stitches, and washed down there rather vigorously to try and get rid of the blood- that stung quite a bit! The midwife said afterwards that using soap was absolutely fine, but I would recommend doing it a bit more gently than I did!

We had a lovely couple of hours together before they moved me, where all of the midwives, doctors, paediatricians etc that were in the room just gradually filtered out and left us to admire the baby :).

[allthefires]

I was made to have a bath which I hated every second of. I would have loved a shower. I felt rushed into having a bath but I was still high on drugs.

Remember getting out, getting dressed and getting baby dressed and leaving hospital 4 hours after he was born.

[Isthreetoomany]

I had a shower the morning after giving birth to my first, and I was pretty slow walking down the hallway to the showers after stitches. I also don't think I appreciated how much I would seem to be bleeding once I was standing up in the shower (sorry tmi). That was a bit of a shock to be honest. But lovely to get clean.
After DD2 I had a bath which I preferred.