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Pregnancy

Constantly worried!

10 replies

QueenCee · 18/06/2011 19:52

I'm 5 weeks PG with DC2. My first PG ended in MC and I struggled to remain positive throughout my PG with DC1.
I thought this time round as I'd had a successful PG I'd be less panicky and relaxed... But I'm really not. I can't relax and can't be positive. I'm just waiting to miscarry again TBH.
Now I'm worried that this is my intuition and if this was going to go full term I'd feel more positive and relaxed.
Loads of my friends seem so confident in their PG's and don't seem to even consider MC as a possibility.
Do you think my negativity is a gut instinct that somethings wring or just the fear of MC as a result of my previous one? Or am I massively overthinking this???? Arrgghhh! Help!

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shez87 · 18/06/2011 20:32

i dont think your over reacting due to ther problems you've had before you're bound to be worried,this is my first child and i worry every day that something is going to go wrong i think its just how mums are tbh x

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Millie26 · 18/06/2011 20:41

I think you are probably naturally really anxious because you have previously experienced miscarriage so you are more aware, perhaps, than some of your friends that things can go wrong. You are not psychic, your fear doesnt mean your pregnancy isn't going well.

I am the same this time round - am 7 weeks now and found out 9 dpo so have lived with dread every day. (have one DD but mc before that).

Personally I think that nothing can stop you feeling anxious. BUT there are definitely things you can do to manage it and give yourself and easier time. Try keeping a diary and write in it every time you are worried, even if that's seemingly constantly. I got so bored of doing this I stopped worrying as much so I didnt have to! :)

Also, I found starting a project helped - I finally sorted out all our photos for example and then realised the whole day had gone. Get out, eat well, tell yourself you are healthy and you have a beautiful healthy child and you will have another.

Controversially, I also imagined that if it did end in mc, what would I do? I said I would sign up for half marathon and train with my dad, and I would lose a stone, something I wouldnt do if I was pregnant. Obviously you are praying everything will be fine, but I find some comfort in thinking that there is some fate involved and that if it goes wrong I'll be able to spend some more time with my dad.

Dont look up mc stats on the internet and hang out with your positive friends. good luck and I've got everything crossed for you!

xx

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QueenCee · 18/06/2011 20:53

Thank you so very much. Such comforting, reassuring words. I love MN for great, impartial advice and support.
Xx

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PinkFondantFancy · 19/06/2011 07:54

Hi queen over in the conception boards there's a thread called something along the lines of 'the freak out room for the newly updiffed after MC' - it's a nice place to be if you fancy some handholding. I think after you've had a MC you're not able to have the carefree pregnancy that others are able to have-I'm very jealous of those that are able to sail through in the supreme confidence that everything will be fine for them.

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QueenCee · 19/06/2011 08:05

Thanks pink will take a look at that thread.
I honestly and naively thought after a successful pregnancy I'd feel mire relaxed and confident. If anything, I feel worse that I wouldn't be lucky enough to have 2 successful pregnancies!
I drive myself nuts with worry :(

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diddygirl · 19/06/2011 11:05

Five years ago I had a plain sailing pregnancy, it was completely text book. Last year I had 2 MCs and now I am 15 weeks pregnant. I am still unable to completely relax as I feel I can't afford to count my chickens. I am having reassurance scans every 2 weeks, which although is fantastic, I worry everytime that they will say the baby has died. I can't wait for when I start to feel movement, but then again I will be freaking out if I don't feel it every day.

I think it's just natural. We can't afford to take life for granted.

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sebs71 · 19/06/2011 12:57

This is my first pg and I'm 29 weeks. But being aged 40 means I've been constantly worried the whole way through. Although this is my first pg, I've seen many of my friends go through MC and even stillbirth, so just can't relax myself. I've haven't even bought a thing yet... still feeling it's too soon... Don't think I'll ever believe it'll all be ok until baby is in my arms. But, I guess it doesn't even stop there, and becomes part of being a parent to worry about your kids.

Just think about all the other mums who have gone on to have 2 (and more) successful pregnancies... why wouldn't you be one of them?

Sorry, not much in the way of advice (I think Millie had some great advice) but just trying to say that many of us feel the way you do, and I hope that brings you comfort and reassurance. It's part of being pg, I guess.

Good luck, and hope you manage to relax at some points ... aim for those milestones... x

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QueenCee · 19/06/2011 13:33

I keep re Reading the op's from you all... Making me feel much better.
Thank you so much x

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faintpositive · 19/06/2011 13:41

Hi Queencee,

This is the 1st posting for me on the Py bourd.
I cant even type the word such is my anxiety.
Im 6 weeks, this is my 7th pregancy, i have had 5 miscarriages.

Like you, i am very negative, very very anxious and presuming that this too will end badly.
Im just waiting everyday for the bleeing & the pain to begin.

So far no bleeding, so far no pain

I know what what you mean about everyone else not even considering mc as a possibility, they all just take it for granted that their pregnancy will be fine.

i hold out no hope, never do, so anything else, is a bonus.

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QueenCee · 20/06/2011 07:10

faintpositive
you're amazing to keep trying after 5. I've only had 1 but the emotional pain is so bad I considered not trying again.
I think it's the fear of feeling worse than I ever have in my life that makes me want to give up... But the drive to have a baby is slightly more of a pull if that makes sense.
It must be nice to have a happy, stressless pregnancy. I take some relief in thinking if this PG sticks, I will have 2 DC and I won't have to go through this hell again!