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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

who did you tell before 12 weeks?

26 replies

loobylou13 · 30/05/2011 19:07

Apart from your partner who else did you tell before your 12 week scan? x

OP posts:

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rubyslippers · 30/05/2011 19:08

parents

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DizzyKipper · 30/05/2011 19:24

Immediate family, a few close friends, and bosses at work.

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lolajane2009 · 30/05/2011 19:35

both sets of parents. my mother is my eemployer so told her then told in laws to even it out...

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JimmyChoo17 · 30/05/2011 19:43

Close family (both of our parents and mY brother) and very close friends. Basically the people I told were people I would turn to if something went wrong before 12 weeks and that I wouldn't mind knowing about any losses.

I had 2 miscarriages (9weeks and 6 weeks) and glad I hadn't told people (other than my very close family and friends ) I had to tell my boss first time round as had mmc and had a d&c but he was brilliant. My 2 Nd loss I only told my brother as close to him and his wife.

The above probably sounds a Morbid way of looking at it but I couldn't have dealt with other people and cope with loss.

This time round just told both parents and brother. Everyone else after 14 weeks. I'm now 33 weeks pregnant :)

Boss told last as morning sickness was night time sickness for me so didnt affect work.

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thesurgeonsmate · 30/05/2011 19:51

no one

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iWILLdothis · 30/05/2011 21:45

Parents and one very close friend

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clairefromsteps · 30/05/2011 22:42

Everyone! We knew everyone would clock instantly anyway as they all knew we were trying, I'd gone off tea, coffee and booze I was looking pretty green around the gills so we saw no reason to be coy about it.

I left it until 12 weeks before telling work colleagues, although I had told my boss in confidence. It's advisable to do this if you're feeling queasy or exhausted as you'll get cut a bit more slack and once you tell them they're legally obliged to give you time off for any doctors appointments you may need to make.

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SandStorm · 30/05/2011 22:48

Other than immediate family pretty much everyone I worked with knew. It was the worst kept secret ever! Mind you, it was Christmas time and I worked in a male dominated and fairly heavy drinking environment so it was noticed almost immediately that I had stopped drinking.

It actually made life a lot easier to be honest.

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PrincessScrumpy · 30/05/2011 23:19

Everyone - I had to tell my boss as I had hospital apps early on for suspected ectopic pg. She told her friend/colleague who went and told a few people, including the top boss, without mentioning the issues I was having. At 7 weeks we had a second scan which actually confirmed I'm pg with twins - two very strong heartbeats, so we decided that we would tell the news rather than let others do it.

I would have prefered it to be immediate family only then tell all at 12w - what we did with dd1, but it was taken out of our hands. TBH I'm not sure I could have kept twins a secret anyway and was showing by 12w with violent morning/all day/all night sickness from 8w.

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ShowOfHands · 30/05/2011 23:21

Just sil as she phoned when I was in a bit of a state with bleeding and cramps (everything was okay).

I don't tell anybody in rl though. I wait for them to notice.

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buttonmoon78 · 31/05/2011 05:45

Nobody. Held off til nearly 14wks this time (#4) and even then told people over a protracted month or so.

I hate sharing the news. Makes me feel like a prize brood bitch!

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nannyl · 31/05/2011 09:25

Our parents / siblings / grandparents

a few of my very best closest friends (who all knew that we were TTC that very month as had told them that too!)

and the 2 people who i worked with (as being pg there were things i couldnt / shouldnt do, and i kept running out to be sick, so felt they had to know)

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nannyl · 31/05/2011 09:27

and it was lucky i did as at 8 weeks i was in hospital with HG... we needed family to get me and OH to / from hospital as at that point OH didnt drive. Also could not, not have not told them why i was in hospital, and our local hospital doesnt deal with pregnancy at all, so i had to go to another hospital much further away... the only reason a female would be admitted there, (and not locally) is to do with being pregnant so it would have been obviouse!

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coastgirl · 31/05/2011 10:52

We told close family, a couple we are good friends with and a close friend from work - I actually told her because we were going to her house for New Year and I needed a conspirator to cover up the fact I wasn't drinking (which she did so well, bringing me fake cocktails all night, that everyone was shocked to find out I'd been sober a month later!). As it turned out, I was very happy to have one person at work who knew in those early weeks when I was exhausted and feeling rotten; it would have been worse without anyone who knew.

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brettgirl2 · 31/05/2011 10:54

More people than I would have chosen to - it has been a bit hard to hide due to my sickness.

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SenoritaViva · 31/05/2011 13:20

I am 8 weeks pregnant. Telling parents this weekend but DD has told whole school, who know anyway, I am sadly already looking 5 months pregnant.

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Continuum · 31/05/2011 13:54

Parents, siblings, close friends and the people I chat too most at church.

It was lovely to have support during my miscarriage and then when I got pregnant again it was nice to share the happy news, and would've also have been lovely for the support again should it also have ended in a mc.

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saoirse86 · 31/05/2011 14:49

DP and I found out on the friday night and agreed to keep it quiet. By saturday lunch time he'd told his parents and one colleague. So then I called my mum to come and see me and told her face to face. Then told my sister. We went out for dinner that evening for DP's sister's birthday and found out all 3 SIL's knew. Within a week practical strangers knew!

At the time I thought I was 5 weeks but I turned out to be 8 weeks when I got the BFP.

I won't be doing this next time!

When I was 13 weeks but thought I was 10 weeks someone asked me when I was due!

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Wormshuffler · 31/05/2011 14:56

I am only 7+5, and so far I have only told 3 close friends and My boss. I had a MC at around this point back in november and was very glad I hadn't told my DC's. I am feeling more hopeful this time as suffering from nausea, which I didn't with the MC.
When I had the DC's I told everyone, that was 12/10 years ago and I was less cautious in those days!
I recently had a facebook friend who was updating one of those P calender things from 6 weeks!!! I thought that could have badly backfired, but thankfully she is now 23 weeks.

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angeljefferson · 31/05/2011 15:16

I'm 6 weeks +2, and we told all of our family together at a family gathering last friday. Ive told my best friend as we often go to the gym and sauna, and obviously I wouldnt be doing this! and my boss. I had a mc in feburary, and around the same amount of people knew, but it feels different this time, I had very very quick positive tests early on, and I'm feeling very sick....last time I was bleeding from the day I found out until the day of the mc 4 weeks later! To be honest, most people will guess quick at the lack of alcohol and my swollen tummy (im a tiny size 6)!

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MmeBucket · 31/05/2011 15:29

Everyone.

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SlightlyScrambled · 31/05/2011 18:16

I told one good friend at 7 weeks but won't tell anyone else until the 12 week mark.

I'm avoiding family now as I'm sure my bump is already showing and they will guess.

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aethelfleda · 01/06/2011 18:45

I told people straight away with DD1. Then told some people at 6 weeks with pg 2 - then had to untell them all after a MC at 7 weeks. With DD2 was far more restrained til about 10 weeks.

With current preg (10 weeks) have told parent who lives nearby, few closer friends as we've seen them, and a few siblings who we've had contact with. And work guessed as I look so green and can't drink tea (gossipy enviro so they all know!)

So more people than I'd like, as another poster said- but at least i can whinge about the morning sickness!! Just hope its OK at the 12 week scan and then we'll make it "official".

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Beesok · 01/06/2011 18:52

First time around I couldn't hold it in and told family, work and a few close friends which was good in the end as I had a MMC at 8 weeks and needed time off work etc this time I held off telling family until my 9 week scan (had an early one due to previous MMC) but only told parents and in-laws, had to tell work as I was off sick and going for check ups and it would have been hard to justify - besides I was exhausted and nervous so was glad when work colleagues were supportive and relieved me a bit at work.
I only announced it a wider group after my scan at 13 weeks :)

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ToriaPumpkin · 01/06/2011 19:19

We told our parents, but not BIL and his family as he's unable to keep secrets, my best friend and her fiance and OH's best friend and his wife at about six weeks, all people we would have told if something had gone wrong. I also told two of my closest friends at about eight weeks and had to tell work straight away as there were things I couldn't do. There are only six of us at work so we're pretty close anyway!