Hi Ladies,
My friend asked me to give her my top 3 tips for becoming a mummy. She liked them so much she told me to post them on mumsnet.
Here they are, hope they help:
- Join your local branch of the NCT and do their ante-natal course. The most important thing this course will give you is a set of friends, all who are having babies at the same time. Do not underestimate how important this is, these women will be there for you during your maternity leave, and some of them will become your friends for life. DO IT! DO IT!
- Having a baby is a career change. You will go back to your job, but you will never feel the same about your career - so take time to enjoy it now, and to mourn it afterwards. The change of identity from career-girl to mummy was the single MOST difficult thing for me to deal with. You stop working, at least for a short time, your job is the single most important thing in your life that you have spent YEARS working towards, and all of a sudden it's not there anymore. Instead, there is a screaming, pukey, pooey bundle - and it is SO not cool! Just realise that you will go through this, and accept it. It caught me by surprise. You feel fine after awhile, and now I don't really give a toss about work!
- Buy everything second-hand, or borrow stuff. With the exception of a car seat which you need to get new, and possibly a mattress for cot / moses basket. Babies grow so quickly, out of toys, out of clothes and out of equipment. If you think you can afford to buy everything new, you can't! Get a few little bits - but beg, borrow, steal, second hand shop and ebay the rest!
- End of paternity leave is HARD. You have been in a perfect 3 person bubble for 2 weeks - you, your partner and Baby Boodles. It is a lovely time, but it comes to an end after a fortnight, and that is scary and lonely. At this point you need to GET OUT! This is where your NCT mummies come in handy, and also your friends who are already mummies, go and see them. Pounding the pavements or parks with the buggy is great, but gets boring after a while. Join in with local mum and babies groups, get out and about. The mummy community is friendly, and always happy to welcome a new member to the fold.
- If you think things are going wrong, or if you feel weird, and if you think that you're the only one in the world who is going through it, you are WRONG! Talk to your friends, they will have been through whatever you are going through - or at least know someone who has. Reach out, don't suffer in silence.
- If you can breastfeed, brilliant, do it. If you can't, give the baby a bottle, and don't beat yourself up about it. The Breastfeeding Brigade can be opinionated, bossy and stupid, they glare at any woman who even dares to offer a newborn a bottle. I know, I've been there. My DS has never had a boob in his life, he is healthy, happy, and extra cute - so if that's what formula does, then sign me up! (Aptamil best in my opinion, but you will make your own choice).
- Don't get too bogged down in routine. Babies sleep when they're tired and eat when they're hungry. There's plenty of time to get them into a routine. Up until 4 months, I would say, you need to be led by them. That's why you're off work, because they demand every second of your time. Remember to sleep when they sleep - not fill the dishwasher, or do the washing, you can do all that where they're happily cooing in their bouncy chair. Sleep when the baby sleeps, otherwise you'll go mad!
- No two births are the same, but all are equally as beautiful. Your experience will be unique, your baby will be unique, so don't take too much notice of advice and opinions (including those outlined above!) Follow your instincts, mother nature is a very clever girl, and so are you!
Well, a few more than 3 top tips I guess, but hopefully that will help!
xx