I've been browsing Mumsnet for a while and have found it an invaluable source of advice but have never posted before so firstly...hello!
I'm driving myself a bit mad at the moment so thought if I have a bit of a rant on here it may preserve my sanity! Apologies if I go on a bit, it's a long one...
I'm currently 35 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I know my hormones are all over the place at the moment so can't work out if I'm being oversensitive or not! Basically I'm feeling really let down by my two closest friends and feel as if I'm bottom of their priority list just now when actually I could really do with a bit of extra support.
I've been best friends with them for a very long time, they were my bridesmaids at my wedding and we've shared a lot together. They are both divorced and I was there for them through those difficult times and every one of their subsequent relationship break ups since - and there's been a few! I've always been the settled and happy 'smug married' one so my minor problems and worries have kind of always taken a back seat as they've seemed pretty minor in comparison to whatever has been happening with them. I've been quite happy to play the role of agony aunt and have always been there when times have been tough, often mildly annoying my hubby by letting them tag along and occasionally putting them before him but hey, isn't that what best friends are for?
When I found out I was pregnant earlier this year, they were both initially delighted for me (neither have children of their own yet) but that's kind of where it's stopped. One of them has a new fella and things are going really well so I have literally been demoted to had the odd phonecall about once a month to say hi and try to pretend that we're still great friends despite the fact that she literally has no idea what the last 8 months have been like for me!! To be fair she has always had a bit of a selfish streak so I'm not overly surprised things have gone this way with her. I'm inclined to think she's itching to be Godmother so is doing the bare minimum to stay 'involved' - yes, very cynical I know but if you knew her you'd feel the same.
The other friend in question though has had a really tough time this year, not only did her Dad die but the relationship she's been in for the last year started to fall apart so of course I have been there for her every step of the way and tried to support her more than ever before. However, whether it's because things are getting back on track with her fella or for other reasons that I'm not aware of I've been conscious that suddenly over the last few weeks I'm a bit surplus to requirements. She will take at least a day to respond to a text that I send, she's frequently double booking herself when we've planned to meet up and guess who always get bumped? The final straw was the other weekend when she didn't bother responding to message I'd sent her suggesting meeting up until the morning of the actual day I'd suggested (3 days later) - I was so cross and hurt that she thought I had nothing better to do and sit around and wait for her that I actually said sorry but I've now got other plans. I haven't heard from her since and so have been beating myself up thinking maybe I was too hard!
Basically I haven't heard from either for about 2 weeks now and I'm really really upset. I'm also really struggling with the whole late stages of pregnancy thing at the moment too so although hubby is being amazingly supportive and wonderful as usual I could really do with a couple of extra shoulders to cry on. My family all live up North (I'm down South) and I'm missing them like never before - talking over the phone is all well and good but it can't replace a much needed hug from your Mum
It's now that I really need a bit of extra support closer to home and although hubby's shoulders are broad it would be nice to be able to spread the burden of my current worries and emotions! I feel so frustrated and upset that after all these years of trying to be nothing but the best friend to them I can't actually rely on them in my one and only time of need - I really haven't asked for much back before now. This is compounded by the fact that other friends who I perhaps hadn't been as close to have really come up trumps throughout my pregnancy so I'm even more bemused why my so-called 'best friends' have gone the opposite way.
It's really affecting me, I can't stop crying and don't really know what to do. Not sure whether to tell them how I feel or not - my biggest worry is that maybe I'm being an oversensitive hormonal freak! I am normally fairly sturdy on the emotional front so the fact that this is bothering me so much means that I know that I've got to get my feelings off my chest so that I can stay positive and strong over these final few weeks before my baby arrives as he or she needs to be my main priority now.
Thanks for listening, sorry to go on
xxx
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Pregnancy
Friends have let me down...(sorry, its a long one)
18 replies
Maggotsticks · 10/11/2010 11:08
OP posts:
LunaticFringe ·
10/11/2010 11:22
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