Getting really anxious about going out

[Rocklover]

Hi, this isn't a massive problem yet, but it's starting to creep up on me. I am 14 weeks-ish (3 different dates given, very confusing lol) and I have had pretty bad nausea since I found out I was pregnant and so I haven't been going out a great deal.

I am beginning to feel a little better now and I am able to get out and about a bit more. However, I am beginning to notice that I am getting quite anxious about going out. Having had severe anxiety last year and the year before I am getting a little concerned.

I want to take my DD out to a few places as it's the summer hols, but I'm very nervous because of the nausea. I have just moved to South Devon and live in a small town and there are not many activities locally, so it would mean driving or going on the train to get to places. Nothing is less than a 20 min drive away (to other towns) and there are hardly any local parks. I also don't know the area terribly well, so I will be relying on Satnav and internet research.

I know this seems trivial, but I am a little worried, my rational brain tells me it is just the pregnancy sickness causing the nerves and I will be fine once it subsides, but then on the other hand I worry my anxiety is creeping back.

Does anyone else worry about going out with pregnancy nausea?

[Julezboo]

Yes! I was diagnosed with hyperemesis at 8 weeks and hospitalised (I was on your previous thread about bleeding too!) I am 12 weeks now and I am going out more and more but never on my own! I take a bowl with me, plenty of tissues and wipes.

I am on medication now but before i was vomiting up to 30 times a day, now I am pretty much got it down to a few times each morning.

My mum is here this week so we are getting out and about as she is on hand to help with both boys (one of whom is a 3 year old who loves running everywhere!)

I was hoping it would have passed by now but seems not. Can you arrange to go with a friend or member of your family for the first few trips?

[Ibizadreams]

Yes - I have suffered from agoraphobia as a result of my emetophobia before - and it's horrible.

I can't be sick without passing out, so the thought of it possibly happening while out due to morning sickness was terrifying. I basically didn't leave the house for seven weeks (luckily I work from home).

I was very nervous about going on a business trip abroad while feeling so unwell, so I got some medication from the drs just for that weekend, and it helped a bit. Perhaps you could investigate this?

Also, what helped me get over my agoraphobic episode was listening to Paul McKenna's 'Instant Confidence' and 'Deep Relaxation' CDs every day for three weeks. I can't praise them enough, they changed my life.

Anyway, I'm mostly over the ms now at 18 weeks so I'm sure your anxiety won't last past your ms either!

[Rocklover]

So sorry for you Julez, I am so lucky I have not been sick this time round so far (I was hospitalised during my 1st pregnancy).

Yes, I think the reluctancy to go out stems from the fact I am emetephobic. Unfortunately I have no family near me, they are all a good 3-4 hours drive from me and dp works. I did manage to get my daughter out to the swimming pool this morning (horrible 30 minute drive through seaside traffic grrr) and despite feeling a bit anxious at times, it wasn't too bad.

Wish I didn't find it all so hard though, I get very annoyed with myself. I am on some anti nausea tabs btw, I am trying to reduce the dose as I would like to try and get by on my own now that I am beginning to feel better.

[spilttheteaagain]

I'm nervous about going out too, and again it's because I'm scared of being sick when out. I'm about 10 weeks now.

Next Tuesday I have to go to a wedding and I am DREADING it. It involves:
-1.5hr drive to the city
-Park and Ride into the city
-Ceremony at a church
-Taxis (organised by bride & groom so shared with some other people) to the reception venue
-Milling around etc when probably starving and hence nauseous
-Sit down meal in old hall - long tables with big long benches (could be horrific, as I'm not eating a huge range of foods and have very strong food aversions at the moment)
-During sit down meal I may well be sat in the middle of a bench of people against a wall, so no quick exit
-Hours more of milling around (will be knackered)
-Park and Rise again out of the city
-1.5hr drive home

Sooooo many opportunities to throw up... weird food, weird transport, long tiring day....

[Rocklover]

Oh my god Spilt, you are so much braver than me! I could not have managed that at 10 weeks, and probably would only just be able to get through it now.

Do you absolutely have to go? You are going to be so tired and as we all all know, that makes the nausea even worse. I think the best thing is to split it into small chunks and just concentrate on getting through one bit at a time. Will people there know you are pregnant? (In case you have to dash off).

[spilttheteaagain]

No, that's the swine of it. No one knows I am pregnant (wedding on Tues, scan is on Fri after) and I don't want to say anything before the scan, and also I don't want to steal attention from my friends getting married. I shall have to dodge my way around booze, soft cheese, cured meats, pate God knows what.

I really do want to go as its one of my core group of 6 friends from university, but I want to go in a parallel universe where I am not pregnant! I'm debating ringing him in advance to let him know the situation and say I may have to cry off due to sickness... can't decide.

I will have a bag of sweets/ginger nuts etc, toothpaste, tissues, water....

DH will do the driving. The worst bit I think will be the buses and taxis (I get travel sick anyway) and the meal. We can leave early by pretending we have to go to work on Wednesday, but have actually booked the day off.

[spilttheteaagain]

Sorry Rock I didn't mean to hijack your thread with my wedding related woes... Just wanted to say you are perfectly normal to be nervous about going out. Normally enjoyable social events become an absolute torture of worry and planning and discomfort.

I'm sure it will shortly become much easier for all of us.

And then from 35 weeks ish we'll be scared to go out in case our waters go in an embarrassing situation. So basically incase our waters go. I can't imagine any public situation where it wouldn't be embarrassing and awkward!

[Rocklover]

Don't worry about hi-jacking the thread, that's what we all post here for; to talk to others feeling like we do.

I really hope you feel well enough to go, but if you can't make it, try not to feel too guilty, the friend in question will soon find out what the reason was. You can only do so much when feeling awful.

Lets hope we all feel better soon, I am 14+5 (according to the latest date given to me lol) today and I am still feeling sicky, not as severely, but I still struggle. I don't have many anti sickness tabs left so I am trying to ration them as I don't want to ask for any more.