3.5 yr old dd, completely unwilling and able to hold it in all day - help please!

[dsh1976]

am trying to train dd for second time (the first was an absolute disaster). she's nearly 3.5 and v. keen to wear big girl pants, but refuses to do anything on potty/loo. instead she'll hold it in for hours (yesterday literally all day) until her night time nappy. in other respects she's v. grown up. i've tried bribery, and even ignoring her (dh was around) which in retrospect seems rather childish. am i wasting my time? any advice gratefully received!

[hoppybird]

bumping for you - I have this problem with my just turned 3 year old dd too! Would love any advice.

[mac12]

Sorry not really any advice, just sympathy and bumping for you again.
I posted on here a couple of months ago with a similar problem. DD1, very intelligent, stubborn and independent, could hold wees and poos in for ages, her behaviour getting worse and worse as she got desperate, but she would not go on the potty or toilet, leading to giant lakes on the sofa and carseat. It began to get very stressful all round so after about a month we put her back in nappies. I was worried we'd loose the small gains we'd made in that month (we were making progress on the poo front) but the instant improvement in her beahviour (back to being sunny, bright and confident) made me feel we'd done the right thing. She's now told us she wants to do toilet training when she's three (in a couple of months)so we're going to go with that and take her lead. I have no idea how to approach it then - any tips would be welcome about how to apprach this second time round after a first disastrous attempt (actually it will be a third attempt as there was also a disastrous previous go but thta only lasted a few days). Maybe third time lucky?
Positive vibes to you and your DD, hope you crack it soon.