Please help, Potty training is not working!

[Littlepurpleprincess]

My son will be three this summer. I have been potty training him for 6 weeks. He doesn't tell me when he needs a wee ever. He will stand and do it on the floor then casually tell me. It's like he doesn't know he needs to do it on the toilet but I take him every half an hour and he knows what to do. When he wets himself I always try to say "you do wees on the toilet, can you tell me before you go next time" but I am finding it hard to be calm and positive with him, it's exhausting.

I was wondering if anyone has any tips. Or can see what I am missing? Has anyone found that rewards work? (like stickers)Or has anyone had a similar experience with potty training. I feel like it's going to go on like this forever!

[helsbels4]

Just remember that he won't still be doing this when he's eighteen! That's what kept me going! I tried with my dd at much the same time as you, (maybe a tad earlier) but she wasn't interested at all. I put it on hold for a few more weeks then tried again and she got the hang of it that time - just before she was three. She was dry at night from around the same time and I'm a great believer in they'll do things when they're ready to. Good luck .

[mumoftoby]

My DS1 had constant accidents and hadn't had one on target until I offered choc buttons as a reward (on the third day of potty training) - then 3 in the potty that day and not too many accidents since!
I just then slowly weaned him off the choc rewards. He also learnt that anytime he would sit on his potty I would put tv (cbeebies) on for him.

[pinkmagic1]

I would say he dosn't sound ready. I tried training DD who is 2.4 a couple of months ago and she just kept wetting herself again and again. A couple of weeks ago I tried again and she has got the hang of it straight away.
All kids develop bladder and bowel control at different ages and boys are often later (my Ds was nearer to 3). I would put the nappies back on and try again in a few weeks.

[notmyfault]

My dd3 just did the potty training thing.(2 y 3 m)I just took the nappy off,let her run around no pants/trousers,if she did it in the potty she got a smartie,if not I cleaned it up.Took about two days to get some success.By the end of week one she'd got the wee thing perfect.End of week two the number twos,and managing the pants and trousers too.She was a bit worried about that.Two weeks later,she's using the grown up toilet upstairs,no accidents.She's forgotten about the smarties,the reward now is she's so chuffed with herself,and of course she gets to flush the chain.

[toomuchmonthatendofthemoney]

sounds like he's just not ready and is not able to understand the feeling of needing to go just before he goes. If you've been at this for 6 weeks with little success, you could both do with a mental break from the stress. Ask him if he wants to wear nappies again for a little while, and if he seems keen, do so and leave the training for a few weeks, maybe even a couple of months. Then try again. He may well get the hang of it then.
My son trained at 2.8 months but he wasn't ready before then. Choosing a toilet seat and "big boy" pants helped involve him in the process. We did potty and toilet at home but still nappies for going out for a few weeks until he seemed happy to venture out nappyless.
They all do it when they are ready, however long that takes!

[Littlepurpleprincess]

I have asked him what he wants to wear and he says pants, he says nappies are for babies, so I'm a bit stuck. I think I will try a small reward system for a couple of days and see if I get a response. Thankyou so much for answering I don't feel quite so stressed about it knowing that other kids take a long time too. I've got a level 3 in children's care and development, I've read all the books and know what the proffessionals say but speaking to real parents is far more helpful.

[pinkmagic1]

You can buy special reusable training pants, that are pant like, but with a little extra padding to make accidents a little easier to deal with. Maybe try these if he is refusing to wear nappies.

[Littlepurpleprincess]

Yeah I got a few pairs. They are very expensive so I use those if we are going out for a long time or something. Primark do 10 pairs of pants for £2.50 so if he has a particually gross accident I throw them away like a nappy.

[PinkTulips]

my friend's ds and dd are the same age to within a month.

i potty trained dd at just over 2, they tried repeatedly and finally managed it a month before his fourth birthday... about the same time dd finally stopped wetting herself!

the only differance was they didn't have 2 years of constant wet pants and stress

they all get it eventually, my ds1 is like yours, gets the basic idea but doesn't seem to understand the sensation of a full bladder or needing to poo. dp has 4 days off from thursday so we're going to give it one intensive go and if he hasn't grasped it by sunday switch back to pullups, i'm not going through the nonsense i did with dd again. in retrospect when she regressed a few months after potty training i should have gone back to nappies.

[Littlepurpleprincess]

Good Luck for thursday.

I have talked about it with my partner and we have decided to try the reward tactic until the week-end the re-evaluate. If he is improving we will keep at it, if not he's going back in nappies.

What do you think of pull ups? Are they to much like nappies or do they work?

[PinkTulips]

well i was using cotton nappies but he outgrew them and i'm not willing to spend more money on them when he'll (hopefully) be out of them soon so i'm using the pullups that have the wet feel layer as i figure it's best if he continues to feel uncomfortable when he pees... last thing i want is to be making him more comfortable in the nappies!

they're ok, nuisance to change if he dirties them as i had gotton used to changing him standing up and they require full stripping of pants to get on. they don't cope fantastically with poo either but well enough.

their nice and slim fitting though and he thinks they're knickers which is the aim of the game!

[SusieDerkins]

It doesn't sound like he's ready. I left ds1 and ds2 until they were 3 and they cracked it in 6 days and 4 days respectively. Piece of piss. So to speak.

[Littlepurpleprincess]

Well he's back in nappies this afternoon. Needed a break so put the nappy and spent all afternoon cooking together. Best day I've had in ages!

Tomorrow he's going into pull ups (carpet can't take it anymore) so no pressure, just rewards. Sticker for going on the loo, toy for staying dry all day.

Good luck DS....

[PinkTulips]

sending toilety vibes your way

have to say i much prefer the gradual approach to the cold turkey method.

[Littlepurpleprincess]

Lol @ toilety vibes...

DS took one look at his 'big boy pants' and said "it's a nappy". lol. I am sticking with it though.

Aren't pull-ups expensive!!!!

[PinkTulips]

i know i almost keeled over when i saw the price 5.99 for 14 of the damn things!

luckily ds1 doesn't pee more than 2/3 times a day so we don't go through many

[Littlepurpleprincess]

That's about how much I paid. Why are they more expensive then Nappies? They are the same thing and DS has gone through just as many. It's a bit new to me. I used Terry nappies for ages. Must have looks nuts in Somerfield. Took me about 20 mins to find the right ones!

[PinkTulips]

lol, i'm a bit like that in the nappy aisle too, we were using cloth but he grew out of them and i can't justify buying more if he'll train.

although judging by today we may be a while off yet... so much for dp being any help, he's supposed to be bringing ds to the loo ever 1/2 hour but he doesn't and is getting increasingly grumpy with every accident

[Littlepurpleprincess]

Sounds VERY familiar! My partner only takes DS to the loo if I ask but still looses his temper when he wees on the floor!

[seeker]

You can start at 2.5 and they'll be dry by the time they are 3. Or you can start at 3 - and they'll be dry....by 3!

Wait til they are absolutely BEGGING to be out of nappies and you can "train" in a couple of hours!

[toomuchmonthatendofthemoney]

littlepurpleprincess, was just wondering how the last couple of weeks have gone, how is your ds getting on now? and are you feeling better and more relaxed now too?

[FAQinglovely]

£5.99 for 14???? ermm where are you buying them??

I either get Boots own 18 for £4.99 (but often on 2 packs for £8) or when Huggies are on special offer (the Little walkers ones NOT their "labelled" pull-ups) I get them......usually costs me about £8 and that lasts me 2 weeks (DS3 is 22 months so still fairly regular changes).

[shoofly]

ok after a full week with ds who is 3.4 I have given up (this is our second attempt) - He will not go in a potty because "he is too big" but in the whole week he has never asked to go to the toilet once. We caught most of the wees by my insisting that he sat on the toilet at regular intervals and every single poo was in his pants - he picked the pants and was bribed with mini eggs and lots of praise but after stress and tears he is back in a nappy - He goes to preschool in September and has to be toilet trained - The only friends he has still in nappies are months younger than he is.