Toddler holding wee

[Pottysos]

Hi,

I'm after some advice if possible.

I've just started potty training my daughter (2.5) and seemed to start well. We purchased a potty book and she went from refusing to sit on them (we have had them a while) to actively asking for them.

We did the 'sit and try' method and eventually she had a wee (which she was elated about!).
She was really excited about having knickers and would ask for them rather than a nappy so we started asking/reminding her that if she wants a wee/poo, she can let us know/go to the potty. Very few accidents and even then, we said it didn't matter and we can try next time etc. We certainly made sure we didn't show any frustration or upset.

However, since then, we seem to have issues of her holding on (for hours and hours). She will tell us she needs a wee and rush to the potty, but doesn't seem able to relax and go. We have tried distracting her, putting the tele on, ignoring, encouraging, putting a nappy back on, asking her to blow bubbles, etc.

We then decided that she perhaps wasn't ready so to leave it for a few weeks but she now doesn't want to wee in her nappy either. Yesterday I said to her that if she wants a wee, she can wee in her nappy but she refused and started crying. I then said she can try on the potty and she sat down for 20 seconds and got up, said she was finished (there was nothing there)
A minute later the same happened, went to sit, can't go, gets up and then obviously feels uncomfortable again and the process repeats. By then she is literally crossing her legs and skipping.
I've asked if it hurts and she said it did (hard to establish if she means it hurts when she goes or it hurts because she wants to go) and I intend on taking her to the doctors to check for a UTI.

I'm really not sure what the best course of action is. Do I continue and hope she learns to wee or do I try and discourage the potty so she feels comfortable about weeing in her nappy again? She is back at nursery so I sent her in a nappy and apparently she didn't mention it there and did wees as normal, but the cycle of needing a wee but not going started as soon as she got home.

We have really tried to be very low key about the potty usage so I don't think is an attention seek as she generally does

[Pottysos]

Sorry, posted too soon.

I don't think it is attention seeking as she does seem desperate when she is asking to go.

Would appreciate any words of wisdom. I feel so helpless when she is clearly very uncomfortable but can't actually go.

Thanks

[Rosehassometoes]

I’d go back to nappies for a weeks and then try again.

[LifeIsHardButSoAmI]

My daughter did this. I tied myself in knots over it. I put her nappies back on and left her alone for a couple of months because it seemed cruel to me to let her hold it for hours. When we tried again she would keep doing it. She just refused to use the potty/toilet.

She knew how to use the potty/toilet. She knew what she had to do. But the idea of it just worried her (she’s five now and she still hates change). Then one day (not long after she turned 3) she just took off her nappy and started using it and that was it. She was dry immediately in the day and at night. So I never had to “train” her as such.

[Pottysos]

Thank you.

The HV told me to preservere and I did for a few days, but it was a constant 'I need a wee' then crying when she is on the potty. It can last for ages until she literally wees herself (sometimes she is on the potty but often she has been sat there ages before then).
I'm back to nappies but we are in this awful limbo where she doesn't want to wee in either. I'm letting her do her own thing for now (if she wants to sit on the potty, I've let her) and hope she doesn't get any hang ups. Wish we hadn't started.

[Malagam]

Hey, I’m Having this exact same issue with my little boy we have only been trying a couple of days but now he screams and cries if I tried to get him on the potty but he’s refusing to be in the nappy and wriggles and wriggles I’ve had to force him on the potty this morning just to release the way I don’t know what to do do I stop? What happened with your little girl

[buddy79]

Can I ask you both @Pottysos and @Malagam how things are now? As we started training my DS who has just turned 3 a few days ago, and we are having exactly the same problem! I put him back in nappy after a couple of days thinking he isn’t ready, but he withholds in there too now, so I feel that can’t be a solution and we have to get through it somehow! Thank you