Need help with potty training DS

[BelfastSmile]

DS is 2y10m. We tried potty training back at Christmas, but he wasn't ready, so we stopped and went back to nappies.

Now we're trying again, and it's still not clicking! We have a book about potty training, which he loves; we ask if he'd like to be like the little bear in the book and wear big bear pants, and he says yes.

But he just never asks to use the potty. He'll wet his pants and then come and tell us. If we try to put him on the potty, he screams and fights to get off. He doesn't seem scared, just doesn't want to be on the potty because he wants to be running around instead. Same with the toilet.

He knows when he needs to go, as he used to tell us (when he was in nappies), but now he just won't say anything. He can hold on for absolutely ages, which doesn't really help either, as he's then ready to burst!

When he has an accident, we just get him cleaned up, and remind him to tell us next time he needs to go.

Any tips on what else we could try? I'm happy to wait and try again in a few months, but DH is adamant he should be able to do it now and wants to just keep going.

[GlitterRoseGold]

It's very simple he's not ready.

What you discribed is exactly what way my dd acted when we attempted potty training the 1st and 2nd time. So we left it for another 2 months and so on the 3rd attempt it just clicked on her head right before her 3rd birthday

[littletwofeet]

I agree, it doesn't sound like he's ready.

When they want to do it, it's so much easier.

It sounds like he's nearly there, long gaps between wees, telling you he's done a wee but it doesn't sound like he can quite recognise he needs to go and hold it until he gets to the toilet and more importantly it doesn't sound like he wants to do it (if he's not happy to sit on the potty and would rather play!)

Honestly, don't make life hard for yourself, once they all start school it really doesn't matter whether they were under 2 or over 3. When he's completely ready, he probably won't have any accidents (or very few) he'll take himself to the toilet and it's totally stress free.

[BelfastSmile]

Yeah, I'm kind of thinking he's just not ready. DH is insisting he should be, though (we have a nephew the same age who's been out of nappies for about 4 months).

DS is one of those children who knows his own mind - if he decides he's not doing something, it's pretty much impossible to make him do it. But when he decides he's ready, I think he'll get there really quickly.

[littletwofeet]

They all develop at different times though. Some are early/late walkers, others early/late talkers, some 'get' potty training straight away, others don't until they are a bit older, same with reading, writing, etc.

If he's not ready, he's not ready regardless of DH insisting he 'should' be!

Some are out of nappies before 2, others closer to 4. Comparing him to your nephew won't make him ready any sooner

It sounds like you're right though, he'll get it straight away when he decides he wants to do it.
Can he wee on demand? That is normally a good sign they are nearly ready.

[TickleMcTickleFace]

You've probably tried this but just in case can you have him in just a t-shirt (or starkers) with the potty in the room with you and see if he goes on the potty then? We did that with our DS (but each time I dressed him he weed in his pants) after 2 days we went up to just underpants and now on day 6 he's full clothed and it seems to be sinking in touches all the wood. My DS is very head strong so he has to be able to take himself to the toilet instead of having him ask us.

[BelfastSmile]

He sometimes wees on demand, but sometimes he can't seem to.

Tried with no pants and he just weed everywhere...

[littletwofeet]

I found being able to wee on demand (every time they tried, not just hit and miss) was a good sign they were ready.

Can he recognise he needs a wee before it comes out but just isn't making it on time or is he just weeing without realising?

He needs to be aware he needs a wee and either be able to take himself or tell you he needs to go otherwise you're just going to have weeks of accidents.