Potty training nightmare!!

[mammadileo]

Help! I am trying to potty train my DS who is 32 months now, and failing miserably. I have had potties in the house for months now, and I have explained to DS what the potty is for and try to get him to sit on it, but he screams and refuses to sit on it or even go near it.

He seems to understand the concept of using the potty, and tells me when he is doing "wee wee" or "poo poo" but when I go to take him to the toilet or show him the potty he freaks out. I have tried him on the big toilet too, but he still is not interested. I have bought him pants, and he loves wearing them, but he just wees in them if I do brave having him out of nappies.

I have tried changing him in the bathroom and suggesting he sit on the potty just for a little while, but he doesn't want to know. DH occasionally tries to get DS to sit on potty at bathtime. I have tried a few sessions where I confined him to one room with the potty and toys, and let him run around with only pants on. He has accidents, and even after I explain not to worry but to try the potty next time, we make no progress.

It doesn't help that we are living with my parents while we look for a new house, and they don't want him to have accidents on the carpet, yet they are don't really like it when I put the plastic sheet on their beige carpet (eek!) to have a potty training session as it looks messy. They seem to want him to go straight on the toilet with no accidents! While I would love a miracle like this, I can't see it happening!

My parents have suggested to wait until we get a house, which we hope will be by summer, and friends have told us to wait till summer when we can potty train outside, thus saving the beige carpet! But he will be nearly three then, I am already embarassed that he is not trained at 32 months, let alone three years old!!

So I really don't know what to do. Should I wait a while and hope DS will be more interested in the potty, the weather will be better, and we have a place of our own? If I were to continue trying potty training now, does anyone have any tips as to how to get DS interested and how to potty train avoiding accidents on grandparents' carpets?? I also have a 6 month old baby who is bf, so am also stressing out as to how to juggle both challenges!!

I'd really like to hear any advice anyone has to offer, as a first-time Mum, I have no experience of potty training and pretty much feel a failure about it all :(

Help!! Thanks ladies!

E.xx

[3duracellbunnies]

3 is not unusual for boys, so don't worry about it from that perspective. Your parents are protective of their house, and you and your ds are picking up on that. In my experience with dd1, using a mixture of pull-ups and pants just made her confused, first time around I was concerned about car trips, going to friends etc. Took about 4 months, dd 2 took 2 days, ds took about a week to be dry day and night MOST days, but even 2 weeks in he has a few accidents, especially when tired.

I would put aside your worries about his age, wait until you are in the new house, maybe try getting a soft close family seat too as an alternative option for him.

Oh and I think that if you believe grandparents all of our generation went straight to using the toilet on our first birthday, and never had a backward glance. Either children have fundementally changed, or it is one of those things that we too will have wiped from our memory. I can already only recall one accident between both dd1 and dd2, and they are only 7 and 5, but I know it wasn't that easy. I have now moved on for them and focus on their progress with reading, friendship circles etc.

Try again in the summer when you are all less stressed. Then you can go cold turkey on the previous owners carpets!

[tholeon]

I would take a break so you are all less stressed about it, ideally till you have your own place. There will be lots of accidents at first and you need to be somewhere you can cope with this. I also have a young baby and am training ds at the moment, he will be three in June. I tried a few weeks ago but it was a disaster, but this time has been going much better. What has really helped was dh having a few days off so he has been in charge of potty while I have been feeding baby etc. Particularly useful with boys I think, they have the same bits! Don't worry about his age too much, I did with mine but he wii get there!

[inmysparetime]

Another vote for leaving it to the summer. You don't want to be finding potties etc. mid moving day.
3 is not bad for potty training.
Do you have a September school deadline?
One thing I would advise, is when you decide to train your DS, ditch the nappies and pull ups (except for night), and have a folded stack of 10 sets of socks/pants/trousers in the bathroom prepared for loads of accidents. This minimises the attention DS gets for accidents.
Also, use what DS wants to bribe him, be it chocolate, toy cars, stickers, dinosaurs.
One wee in the right place = one immediate reward. He'll work that out soon enough.

[BellaOfTheBalls]

My DS showed absolutely no interest at all & eventually I had to just do it when he was 3y6m. We tried at 3y4m but after three days of tears from both of us admitted defeat. I hated him still being in nappies. He's tall for his age & regularly gets mistaken for a 5yo so I was very conscious of him still being in nappies.

When it did happen though it was so quick; dry in 4 days. Poos took quite a bit longer but he's there now. Boys are classically much later; there's 2 boys at DS' nursery who despite every effort aren't fully trained at almost 4.

[mammadileo]

Thank you for your helpful comments, I think that we are best to wait a while longer till we have our house. DS's protests also makes me wonder if he still is not ready - with all his milestones he has got there in his own time. He is a lot more cooperative if not pushed too hard, he is incredibly stubborn!!

I'll keep the idea of the potty in the background though and maybe get one of those potty books for us to read together, to perhaps help him come round to the idea. Maybe by the time we get our house, he will be ready to use the potty (fingers crossed!!).

Thanks again for the help!

E.xx