2.5 year old, was potty trained, now isn't

[midnightstar2dawn]

Can anyone give me advice. We potty trained my 2 year old in July (at 27 months) and he got it within a week (with the odd accident - only wees). He always told us when he needed to do poos and we always got to the toilet in time. I don't know what has gone wrong in the last month. The following has happened:

We went back to his Toddlers group in mid-September and his 3 older friends have gone to pre-school and he misses them. His dad was on two weeks leave the following week (which would normally be a great thing). However, during this time he also realised that actually my husband is also the dad of his 10 month old brother, and there was instant jealousy. Up until then he released that I am both of their mums, but he seemed to think that my husband was not related to my youngest and was only his dad. I don't know if any of this is connected, but suddenly from being fully potty trained, my son is now doing all his poos in his pants, and only tells us he needs to wee when he has been put to bed.

We take him to the toilet regularly and he will do a wee, and tell me he doesn't need a poo, and yet ten minutes later he will fill his pants with poo and not care in the slightest. I however, want to strangle him and am at my wits end.

Reward charts haven't worked, the story of poo going to pooland didn't work, bribery is not working, ignoring it hasn't worked, shouting at him hasn't worked and I am going nuts.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks

[girlywhirly]

Poor little boy, he must feel as though his world has just fallen apart; missing his friends, and now he realises there is competition for his much loved dad from the baby.

I think that his way of dealing with the upset is by controlling when and where he poos, and until he comes to terms with how he feels he just can't deal with the training thing. It's really common for DC to regress at times of stress or events like new sibling, death or serious illness of family member, moving home or school, separation or divorce.

Do you think it might take the heat off all of you if he goes back into pull-ups for the moment? As for the jealousy, perhaps he could have some time alone with daddy, something special for them to do together now and then, that 'big' boys do, not babies. Try to have his little friends round to play, or meet them at the park, so that he doesn't feel that they are lost forever. It will seem like a lifetime to him until he can join them at preschool. I think once he realises that he can still see his friends, his dad still loves him just as much, and the world hasn't ended, there will be an improvement in the soiling.