Feeling strangely disconnected

[Anon234]

I wonder if any other mums can relate. I've got 3 beautiful children, the youngest of whom is 4 months old. The other 2 are both under 5. I'm not sure if it's the sleep deprivation (the littlest one is exclusively breastfed and still wakes 3-4 times during the night), the stress of taking care of 3 tiny children all day every day or something only a doctor can help with, but lately I've been feeling really disconnected from everything. I look at my family and can see objectively how ludicrously lucky I am. I have a wonderful husband, my kids are happy and healthy, we have no real financial worries... the problem is, I dont seem to "feel" anything. Well, that's not strictly true; I "feel" guilty for not feeling anything!
I'm really irritable, I nag over everything, I just cant seem to find the joy in anything anymore. If my kids are playing and laughing, it's like I'm watching them through a thick pane of glass; I just can't seem to "feel" the happiness that I know it should give me.
Is it just me? Does anyone have any experience of this and, if so, when/how did it go away? I just need it to go away. I hate living like this, my children deserve so much better and I'm afraid they will start to feel disconnected from me.

[FUNSIZEDMARSBAR]

Hi,

It sounds like you might be experiencing postnatal depression.
I'm sorry you're going through this, but it's nothing to be ashamed of, you are a great mum who obviously appreciates her life and family.
Depression is not your fault, it is a chemical imbalance in the brain, please go see a doctor for your own sake.

Keep going, you're strong.

[runninginheelsisnotfun]

I am going through exactly the same thing. I feel completely disconnected to my own life.
I went to the gp today and was diagnosed with pnd. You should speak to your doctor as this is no way to live