Will I ever get my mojo back?

[PirateWeasel]

My little one is 16 days old and I'm struggling. I love him to bits, but I'm so exhausted and sore and lonely now that DH is back at work that I feel I'm not enjoying these newborn days like I should be. I'd imagined hours of happy snuggles and proudly getting out and about with him in the pram...but it's as much as I can do to keep him alive day to day with the relentless cluster feeding that goes on all day long. Just going for a wee is enough of a challenge! I'm a prisoner on my sofa right now, nursing a third degree tear as well as doing hourly feeds. DH said today that he thinks LO's hair has got darker and grown longer. I hadn't even noticed!! I feel so guilty! I guess this is the baby blues and totally normal, but I wanted to reach out to other mummies who've been here. Please tell me it's just post-birth exhaustion and sleep deprivation and that one day soon I'll get my mojo back! I feel like such a rubbish wife and mum right now.

[HavelockVetinari]

It is 100% normal, please don't worry! Is your DH supporting you? I.e. he should be getting up with the baby for a couple of hours before work so you can get a proper (ish) nap in. And he should be doing all the cooking, cleaning and washing till you're not trying to survive on max 5 hrs broken sleep per night.

If DH hadn't have done that I'd have been on my knees with exhaustion and PND.

[ToddlerTamerMumma]

Totally, totally normal. I think this is one of those big myths of parenting - like a big secret no one tells you until you've had the baby. You won't enjoy every moment. You'll have times where you honestly wonder WTF has happened but it's totally normal. Really, the newborn days for me were just survival. I was sore for a long time and felt poorly but had a newborn who wanted cuddling 24/7 and cried constantly! It's hard to enjoy every moment!

[ZackPizzazz]

Nobody enjoys every moment. Nobody. Nobody gets out of bed at 3:17am when the baby is up for the millionth time having only slept 20 minutes and thinks "wow, I'm enjoying this". They think "fuck I hate my life why won't you just FUCKING SLEEP". So task #1 is to readjust your expectations of both yourself and your baby. You are in the survival zone right now. Newborns feed a lot, cry a lot, occasionally shit all over you. For many, maybe even most, of us, it's about getting through the day as best you can. It doesn't mean you don't love your baby. It doesn't mean you don't enjoy your baby. It doesn't mean you made a mistake. It means babies are hard work and adapting to being a mother is even harder.

Things will get better soon and by 12 weeks you will see a real difference. That probably feels like forever right now but it will pass really fast. Just be easy on yourself and get through one day at a time for now.