Hi. I wanted some advice on if I am BU in wanting my in laws to offer help with baby. They are very active and involved grand parents to their daughters child (5 years old). SiL has been living with them for the past 4 years and my in laws have changed nappies, done feeds, potty trained, done the night shift, help with playgroup/school drop offs and pick up's. I lived with them for 3 years and saw all of this. While I was pregnant they said to me that they can't help with baby. I had not asked them to, but I think they wanted to tell me up front so I wasn't expecting any help from them. They are pensioners and I would never expect them to do all the things they do for their other grand child. However I do feel like they are using their age as a reason why they can't help me yet it doesn't apply to helping their daughter. My baby is 4 weeks old and they have visited a few times, sometimes with their close friends. They are the doting grand parents when they are here but this annoys me as I feel that they give their friends the impression that they really care and are involved. I know that they don't have to help with baby. I had baby for me, not them but it upsets me that they do so much for one grand child and for the other they are saying their age doesn't allow it. Even if they visited every day and asked if I needed help that would make me happy as I would feel that me and my son are important to them as well. My OH says that it's only natural they help his sister and I shouldn't get upset if they are not the same with me. AIBU in wanting my in laws to treat me like their daughter? Should I accept that as their DIL I will always be second best to them and so will my son?
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