Sex after a tear?

[Madkay07]

4 weeks after giving birth and me and hubby have been discussing getting down too it. We want to but I had a 3b tear and I'm worried it's too soon. I'm not in any pain or anything. I get some tight spasm type feeling after bowel movements sometimes (sorry TMI!) But apart from that feel okay. What do you guys think? How long did others wait after a tear? Thanks guys.

[noodlmcdoodl]

Crumbs! I had a 3b 7 months ago and I'm still too scared!!!!!!! I've healed really well (had endoanal scan to confirm) and other than leaking (urine - this is improving) and the odd not getting to the loo on time (pooh - I know why this happens) have no symptoms. My main concerns are pain (from muscle tightness and round my scar) and leaking (both ). I've been seeing a WH Physio since 6 weeks and have been using a Pelvitone (muscle stimulator) and Therawand (to loosen tight muscles off) plus PF exercises.... so it'll likely be OK, but the anxiety I feel is what is holding me back. Torn muscle takes 3(ish) months to fully heal, so im not sure if sex would potentially set back the healing process? It's got to be worth checking with your Consultant or one of the Nurse Specialists or WH Physio first and in the mean time doing other stuff!!

[Durnie]

I had to be cut with the birth of my first, me and my husband didn't get down to nothing for 3months or so. I was so scared but once I got it double checked and talked to my husband about me being anxious we just took it slow.

[Madkay07]

I haven't been referred to anyone for follow up! I thought I was supposed to but I haven't heard anything. Are you in the UK noodlmcdoodl ?

[Bluebelltulip]

I got a letter about 12 weeks after to get checked after my 3rd degree tear.

[Emma1609]

I would think that is too soon? You havent had your basic 6 week gp check yet? I had 2nd degree tear and cervical prolapse and was too scared to do it for nearly a year!

[Boomies]

I had a grade 4 that healed well with no complication - you want to at least have your 6 week check then don't underestimate how scary it may be, I think I had a bit of post traumatic stress and burst into tears...thank goodness for a wonderful understanding husband! Also just to warn apparently he could feel my internal stitches for quite a few months, which he only told me recently! 😱

[jdbabey]

I still haven't got to it. I had a 2nd degree tear which kept getting infected due to stitches coming apart which causes me a lot of discomfort still and the thought of having sex is terrifying. My other half keeps pestering me n we keep arguing now every time we discuss it.

[Jodie567]

Hi!
I totally understand your fear! I had a labial tear that was not stitched on top in a 3d tear, I found that after birth my sex drive was so high I found it very hard to not get back to it. So me and my partner went for it after 2 weeks after but we took our time and everything was fine, to be honest it's the best it's ever been . Ladies I suggest you make the most of your husbands gentle, attentive and willingness in the bedroom, I have and it makes for a wonderful night.
Hope you all healing well soon

[sophiejayne96]

It's not bad at all, I thought that it was going to be really sore where my stitches had been put in but I couldn't feel that, it was just a bit tight down there (Sorry to be blunt) from not doing the deed in like 2 months.
I was so worried but needed to feel close with the OH as we are constantly busy with other things and little one so we havnt spent enough quality time together lately.
I decided to bite the bullet last night after 5 and a half weeks, it was fine.. infact it was better than before birth! Don't be scared, just try and relax everything and take it slow.