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As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

Postnatal health

Struggling-PND

9 replies

RealLove · 04/09/2016 11:06

To write this down is hard, I've been battling it for around 5 weeks. I've been dumbing it down and telling myself and others I'm ok and trying to block it out, in reality I know what I'm feeling isn't ok and really isn't me. I cry a lot, feel worthless, a failure, very anxious and just not me. I am going through the motions with DD3 and my other 2 girls but I'm not enjoying it. I now realise that it's not DD3 that's the problem it's me. I am going to the doctors tomorrow hopefully to talk about PND and get some help. It's hard to admit it as I can't believe it's happening to me now on baby number 3. Please tell me it gets better.

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EllenRipley · 04/09/2016 11:22

It does and it will and there's absolutely no shame in it because it happens to a LOT of women, regardless of which pregnancy. Hormones, fatigue, all the physical and mental pressures of trying to look after yourself, your family, a new baby... They can all conspire to affect your health. I had it after my first and only child and it's a horrible place to be in but it's temporary. Great you're going to see your GP, he/she may want to prescribe some anti depressants to get you through. They will help if you want to take them, and you may be offered counselling too. Don't hold back with your GP, be honest about how low you're feeling, it'll be a weight off your mind to share. Do you have help with the kids, some support?
Feel for you OP, but hang in there, you'll get through X

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RealLove · 04/09/2016 11:31

Thank you so much for replying. I have a fantastic husband who is brilliant with the children, for that I am so grateful. I am so close to my Mum, Dad and sisters but haven't been able to tell them, just feel a huge amount of guilt that I very much wanted 3 children so how on earth can't I cope now. Having DD1 & 2 I can honestly say was the best thing to ever happen to me, I felt on top of the world, now a far cry from how I'm feeling now. Anti-depressants seem the way to go which I will gladly try, just want to nip this in the bud and start recovering. I take heart in knowing it can be overcome but it feels like I'm drowning in it at the moment.

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EllenRipley · 04/09/2016 14:26

fantastic husband who is brilliant with the children, for that I am so grateful. I am so close to my Mum, Dad and sisters but haven't been able to tell them, just feel a huge amount of guilt that I very much wanted 3 children so how on earth can't I cope now. Having DD1 & 2 I can honestly say was the best thing to ever happen to me, I felt on top of the world, now a far cry from how I'm feeling now. Anti-depressants seem the way to go which I will gladly try, just want to nip this in the bud and start recovering. I take heart in knowing it can be overcome but it feels like I'm drowning in it at the moment.

Aw you're very welcome, three children just is a lot to cope with, especially adding a new one into the mix! The fact you recognise you're not yourself and are actively seeking treatment means you are coping, just that circumstances are different this time around. And feeling crap doesn't mean you'll be judged for having baby 3! I'm 100% sure there are mothers on here and the world over who can relate to your situation. Your guilt is part of your state of mind and your state of mind can be affected by a load of post-natal things that aren't in your control. Of the friends and family I have who've got 2,3,4 kids, there's always at least one pregnancy, birth or new baby experience that takes them by surprise, including the physical aftermath so pls don't beat yourself up because this time round things are different. I think sometimes expectations are made to be challenged! Maybe get your doc to do some bloods too, your iron or ferritin could be low and that could be adding to things. And great you're close with your family, lean on them because I bet if they knew how you were feeling, they'd want you to tell them. Will be thinking of you, let me know how you get on at the docs. And tell yourself in the mirror that this too shall pass X

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EllenRipley · 04/09/2016 15:25

Oops I seem to somehow have copied your msg in there too! iPhone fail!

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RealLove · 04/09/2016 20:59

It's so heartening to hear how you had PND and came out the other side. I told my parents today, it felt good to have the help and reassurance from them. They're brilliant and have already said how they want to help in any way that they can. In fact when my Mum saw my face today she knew something wasn't right straight away.
I will definitely ask for a blood test too as I was anaemic in pregnancy. Thank you for your words of reassurance and your help. It means such a lot, just to know I'm not alone.

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EllenRipley · 04/09/2016 22:37

That's great Real, so glad you've got your mum in the loop. My main issue was anxiety, and just feeling overwhelmed; I'd had a traumatic birth, my hormones were all over the place and I was completely sleep deprived. I remember so well how utterly overwhelmed I felt! And so disappointed in myself. Had good support, took antideps and got sent for counselling. All helped, and I recovered. I hope you get some sleep tonight, you're on the right path! X

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RealLove · 05/09/2016 19:37

Thank you Ellen, anxiety is my main problem, just feel a massive knot in my stomach for no reason whatsoever, couple that with feeling overwhelmed and like a failure it's a downward spiral. I've been to the doctors today and am now on anti-depressants and have another review in 2 weeks. The first step has been accomplished, I hope now I'm on the road albeit a long road to recovery. I am very grateful for your messages they have really helped no end.

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EllenRipley · 05/09/2016 22:13

Oh jolly well done! I was thinking about you today, great u got seen and you're underway with some anti-deps. Stick with them, they may take a while to kick in and don't panic if you feel a bit worse before you feel better, it's just your system adjusting (though that may not happen at all, I found them fine). Anxiety is the WORST feeling, and a vicious circle, moreso when you've a bubba & kids to look after. Anyway, I'll shut up now, I'm just mighty pleased you're feeling more positive! Don't forget on the bad days that there's light at the end of the tunnel X