Postnatal depression 4 months after birth

[lauren23]

Hi all

I'm sorry if this all seems a bit all over the place but I just need to get out how I'm feeling and hoping for some good advice.

I had my DS 4 months ago and it was truly the best thing that had ever happened to me. I did have an extremely traumatic birth..30 hours, DS got stuck, turned back to back and eventually had to have forceps and ended up with a ton of stiches. I was absolutely fine though and the midwives and hv were a bit shocked that I was doing really well and was so happy and I truly was. I found breastfeeding to be (relatively) easy and was doing it exclusively and loving it.

I have always been extremely close to my family and was only living one hour away from them so could see them pretty much when I liked..life was all coming together.

When DS was four weeks old my partner was told that he needed to relocate for work. I was ok with this. However, it was to the other side of the country. I knew I had to move to support him and I didn't want him to be away from his son.

We've moved up here now and I feel so lost and alone. I don't know anybody. I've been trying to go to every baby class/club I can in order to make friends, but nothing can live up to my family. I feel like a shadow of the mum I was when I first had my baby. He's still the absolute light of my world but now I'm feeling so down I just feel like I'm not enough for him anymore. To add to this he suddenly doesn't seem to want to breastfeed, and so I've now had to start giving him some formula as he was starting to wake 6 or 7 times a night to feed. This is adding to how rubbish I'm feeling as I feel like I'm not enough and feel like I can't provide for him. I'm just finding the whole thing so stressful and I don't know what to do.

I'm getting so frustrated with crying all the time and I feel like my partner is trying to understand but he doesn't know what to say and he's away a lot anyway.

Can anyone help?

[whattodotoday]

It sounds like you're having a tough time .

I'm not an expert by any means, but I think four months is growth spurt time, which means lots of extra feeding. If you want to bf it might be worth riding it out as his extra feeding is his way of telling the bosoms to make more milk. But I've been there, that is a big ask with a hungry baby!

There's something special about family when you're a new mum. I totally understand why you miss them. Is it possible for you to plan a few trips home? I did that with my first, and it was great, gave me something to look forward to and helped me with the energy I needed to work on building friendships with other mums in parallel.

Maybe also take some vit d, it is the darkest time of year and it might help?

Sorry, these are silly suggestions maybe. Mostly I wanted to tell you is not unusual to feel lonely and as if your whole 'self' had changed with the arrival a baby, but if you're feeling very blue it might also be worth talking to your doc or Health Visitor?