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As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.


(5 Posts)
Roseybee10 Sun 17-May-15 17:52:38

My second dd is 14 weeks. I've found it much harder second time around and initially struggled to bond as she had bad silent reflux and pretty much cried all day every day for the first 10 weeks. Things are a bit better although she's still a terrible feeder. Dd1 has been challenging in that she has become very clingy and only mummy will do etc.

I'm coping ok most of the time but it's very different to how I felt after dd1. I was literally floating on air and loved pretty much every minute. I feel so guilty as I don't feel I've bonded with dd2 as well although now she's interacting and smiling I feel much better. I feel like I can't even remember most of the first 10 weeks and that I've lost precious time feeling crap.

I've just taken my second period since having her and I've noticed that the week before my period both times I've felt awful. Really depressed, angry with dh and angry with the girls and just want to run away. I've asked hubby to take them away, told him I've made a mistake having kids and that I hate my life.

None of that is true, but it feels true at that time. I don't think it's pnd as it only happens the week before my period. I have the hv coming out next week and know she's going to do my second pnd questionnaire and I don't want it to look like pnd because it's so localised.

In don't want anyone trying to put me on medication or anything.

Newtobecomingamum Tue 02-Jun-15 15:19:51

Hi, you didn't have any responses and I didn't want to read and run.

How are you feeling now? Are you feeling any better?

I kept questioning myself for the first good few months if I had PND as I found it difficult to bond, son did not sleep, had awful reflux, colic etc and all I remember was crying from him and me. Once I got his reflux etc under control things got better, but then the guilt sets in!!

I would get angry with DH and family members. Feel like I wanted to run away, questioned if having baby was right thing etc.

I was fine in the end and just think, we go through a bloody tough time, we worry we aren't doing enough or are we doing things right etc... Always questioning ourselves.., when actually we have been doing a bloody good job!!

Be honest in how you feel to HV. I was and hearing the reassurance of it's totally normal etc made me feel better! Also, if there are signs of PND then they will be able to help. Remember they see millions of women and have experience of this and can help if needs be x

Roseybee10 Thu 25-Jun-15 15:49:12

Thank you for replying.

I started starflower oil last month and my last period was much less emotionally difficult although physically it was worse.

I did mention it to two different health visitors, both about the pmt and also feeling like the bonding has been difficult. Both smiled sympathetically, shrugged and changed the subject despite me being in tears both times.

Newtobecomingamum Thu 25-Jun-15 18:51:15

Hi Rosey,

Has there been any improvements with your mood and feelings since last post? Is it only around period time or constant?

I think it would be worth seeing your local GP as your Health Visitors sound useless.

How is baby and the reflux?

Roseybee10 Thu 25-Jun-15 22:08:49

Been feeling a bit better thanks. It does seem localised to around the time of the month and it wasn't as bad this time as the two months before.
Reflux is a little better but still not a great feeder. Hoping that weaning may help - only about 5 weeks to go now.

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