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Finding Things Hard

9 replies

Essexmum82 · 08/07/2010 20:51

Hi my name is Nicola and i'm new on here and am looking for some mum's to talk to. I have 2 little girls,aged 7 yrs and 18 months. I've been suffering from PND for the past couple of month and am finding things very hard, i'm still working full time and feel like such a bad mum as have to find childcare to look after my children. I suffer from regular panic attack, getting moody and emotional all the time. I'm hoping to find some other mums who have or are going through something simmilar to me, just to talk to or offer advice. Feel i have no one else to talk to as they do not understand how i feel

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heymango · 08/07/2010 20:58

Hi Nicola. Am going to be totally useless to you as have no experience in this, but just wanted to answer you.

First of all you are not a bad mother for working full time - lots of women have to or want to. But, is there any possibility of dropping down to part time, even for a bit?

Do you have a partner? Is he supportive?

Are you getting any help with the PND?

You will get loads of great advice on here, but can you spend some time with real life friends or family, who could give you some good support?

Take care

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Essexmum82 · 08/07/2010 21:22

Thanx for replying.

Yes i have a partner, he is not very supportive (he dose try) i seem to be the one doing everything from sorting the kids out, doing the washing and other housework as well as getting up to the the baby during the night. Feel totally taken for granted.

Have looked in to going part-time just got to work out if we can afford for me to drop my hours

Am seeing someone about PND tomorrow and going to talk to them about stuff and see what they can advise. I do have family and friends that i try and talk to, don't get me wrong they do listen but they just don't seem to understand or say i've not no reason to be feeling like this.

xxx

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heymango · 08/07/2010 21:30

You have every right to feel like this! Could you try to have a bit of time to yourself once a week? It's very tiring and monotonous if you are working and then getting home to carry on working.

It sounds as if you could do with a lot more help from your partner - have you talked to him about what you would like him to do?

I really hope that tomorrow goes well and they can give you some better advice. Am hoping that someone wiser comes along here in a minute!

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Essexmum82 · 09/07/2010 20:19

I went to the Doctors today to talk about postnatal depression, they are sending me for some blood tests to make sure everything else is ok. Got to go back and talk about medication and stuff like that. Wanted to sign me off for a couple of weeks so i do not fell so tired and can just rest. Feel a lil better now that i have talked about it, they say admitting something is wrong is the first step to recovory.

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PaulineCampbellJones · 09/07/2010 20:22

Hello, glad you went to the doctors. I could have written your post!
Had a big cry this morning because I'm just trying to juggle everything and feeling useless. Just rushing around trying to please everyone and spend as much time with my baby as possible whilst doing my job well.
Hope it all gets better for you soon - I think what you are going through is quite 'normal' if that makes you feel any better.

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heymango · 09/07/2010 20:49

Well done for going to the Doctors. I hope you take a bit of time off, just to get back on top of things.

Keep talking and hope you keep improving.

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Essexmum82 · 10/07/2010 13:49

I'm glad i'm not the only one that is going through this. Sorry to hear ur having a rough time though Pauline xx. All the other mum's where i work seem to be copying really well and judge me cause i'm finding things hard. Other ppl don't seem to relise how hard it is juggling a full time job, with kids, house work and other stuff. I've spent so much of my time doing things to please other ppl or just looking after the girls i can't remember the last time i did something for myself. It may seem selfish but just once i would like some me time!

Thanx to both of u for been so understanding, it does help xx xx

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PaulineCampbellJones · 10/07/2010 14:35

I used to think that everyone coped except me but really everyone struggles from time to time even if they seem perfect on the outside! Can your partner not even take the kids out for a walk or an ice cream so you can have a little nap or a bath with a magazine? Sod the housework, it'll still be there tomorrow! Xxx

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Essexmum82 · 10/07/2010 14:57

Ha ha my housework will always be there the way my girls mess the rooms up pmsl. The hubby is looking after 18mnth old so that i can take my 7yr old out for a girly shopping trip as she is getting upset that i don't have enought time with her, so were doing that tomorrow. Hopefully while we are out he will do a lil of the housework, i don't expect him to do it all but just a lil so there is not so much for me to do. I'm tired all time just want to stay in bed all day and sleep