Annulment

[TwinSetAndPearls]

I am wanting to annul my marriage on many grounds.

1. My ex husband and I never consummated our marraige - not sure if this will stand as we conceived dd before the marriage.
   
   
2. I was mentally unstable when I married him, have medical records to back this up.
   
   Despite the above I tried very hard to make my marriage work but his long term abuse and the fact that he openly stated that he wished we had aborted our dd meant it was impossible for the marriage to continue.
   
   I do not want an annulment because I want to remarry but simply because I want to feel a complete Catholic if that makes sense and I feel that being the divorced catholic stands in my way of doing this.
   
   Has anyone else been through the annulment process? How long does it take?

[Carla]

TSAP, don't know much about this at all, but just wanted to clarify your original post. Are you saying you are now separated, since you refer to him as your ex husband. And since your child was conceived - I presume by your ex - are you saying that the relationship was consummated, but not the marriage?

[TwinSetAndPearls]

yes the relationship was consummated but not the marriage, therefore not sure if this still stands as a reason for the marriage being null and void.

[3mummy]

I have no personal experience of this but I do know someone who is going through the process. From this case I'd say it takes about 1yr - 18mths. Apparently you can appeal if the first tribunal does not go your way. Do you have guidance or representation from your church? It sounds like you do have grounds for annulment, but really do talk to your priest.

All the best. xx

[TwinSetAndPearls]

I am talking to my priest tomorrow, I am sure I have grounds for annulment although my priest is very orthodox so if anyone can block it , he cam. Having said that he has seen the hurt that dd father has put us through and he is supportive of my new do having seen the posiive impact that he has had on our lives.

i was curious to see if anyone else had been through the process and if it involved dragging up all your bad memories from the closet and could be qute distressing.

[Tommy]

haven't been through it but my Mum was a witness for someone who had. Quite a lot of "stuff" dragged up but onviously worth it for you. I would think that if your priest is quite "orthodox" then he should be supportive of you - more so if you do not want to remarry particularly. I hope this works out for you and I wish I could be of more use - I studied some aspects of annulment when I was doing pastoral theology but have no personal experience.
Good luck

[TwinSetAndPearls]

Thanks Tommy, being a theology graduate myself who has taught RE in Catholic schools I am quite familar with the grounds for annulment, so I am certain that would get one. Am still quite nervous about approaching my priest though, even though he is lovely! My divorce was just very bitter and nasty and I am worried about dragging it all up again, however as my ex is not a catholic he may not give two hoots which may minimise the bitterness. I am just concerned about the finacial and emotional costs to myself and my immediate family.

[expatinscotland]

I got an annulment based on my former spouse's never wanting to have children - we hadn't really discussed it at the time of our marriage b/c we felt kids were something for 'the future'. But when 'the future' came he realised he didn't want kids.

I was surprised at how easy it was. The ex was more than willing to write a letter stating he never wanted kids, and that he'd even had a vasectomy to prevent it.

See your priest.

[TwinSetAndPearls]

Thanks expatinscotland
I am sure my ex will be more than happy to write a letter saying that I am mad!

Although of course it does raise the matter that only a mad woman would agree to marry him!