Iam unsure I should be writing here. Unsure of what to write and how to write it.
Brief history - Dh and I had problems in February,(posted a lot on relationships at the time and got lots of advice from MN) he left to give me some space in May.
My minister visits our rural parish once a month and has offered to talk with me, I talk small talk and just say "I'm fine", (but I'm not).
At his service today he talked of God preparing a family for us in Heaven, I have been having vague thoughts of ending my misery, but couldn't leave my children, I have no real friends or family and the thought of this loving family waiting for us, need I go on.
I know thoughts like these are so wrong, but life is so hard, I'm exhausted, can't sleep, and can't talk to anyone. I don't know how to say more than "I'm fine", I say it to my GP too. I know there are lots of people in far worse situations than mine,and I should stop this self pity and all the other rubbish I feel.
I have debated for ages now whether to delete this, but would appreciate your thoughts on whether I should talk to the minister and if so how do I stop just saying Im fine.
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5 replies
mpuddleduck · 28/07/2009 00:12
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