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Any other athiest, feminist, pacifist, vegetarian, animal lovers out there?

(32 Posts)
sweetkitty Wed 19-Nov-14 18:09:53

I know no other atheists, very few veggies, no open feminists, very few animal lovers and even fewer pacifists, in my close social circle we have deeply religious friends who talk about their religion and the positive aspects of it all the time, I do not contribute to these comments, in fact very few of my close friends know I am an athiest. I get openly mocked for being a veggie, sometimes turning up to gatherings where there is nothing for me to eat (I know take my own), my feminist/anti violence, animal rights views I never really express.

Am I just a weirdo or is there other like minded souls out there? I suppose since atheists do not congregate at a place of worship they do not get to know each other and have the same sense of community as the religious faithful. My DC are being brought up RC which has its own problems for me but their is a good sense of community within the church/parish/school and although I am a part of that I never really fit in so to speak.

claraschu Wed 19-Nov-14 18:21:55

You need to find some nicer friends.

I am everything you describe, though I'm not exactly sure if I would be a pacifist in all situations. I also often feel out of place, but I live in a very conservative area. I used to feel much more at home when I lived in San Francisco and NYC.

What sort of area and community do you live in?

sweetkitty Wed 19-Nov-14 18:23:41

I live in West/Central Scotland an area well known for its religious bigotry.

DustWitch Wed 19-Nov-14 18:55:49

Hi sweetkitty,

I consider myself to be all of those things and no, you are definitely not a weirdo! Rather, you have a stronger conscience that most and want to make a positive difference in the world which is something to be proud of.

It can be really difficult if you don't know many other people who your views. I live in a very mixed community where it's not that unusual to be vegetarian but still get negative comments and at work recently, after expressing a view on page three a colleague left a copy of the sun on my desk every day hmm so I appreciate how difficult it can be!

I've found one great way of meeting like minded people is through becoming involved in the causes that you believe in. For example attending free seminars, rally's or protests or simply contacting organisations to volunteer. I am a rep for my local trade union and have an opportunity to meet like minded people that way, but other examples would be stop the war coalition, women's rights organisations like the Fawcett Society, environmental groups or local animal rights groups depending what is running in your local area. There is a list of local events on Facebook groups can also be a good way to start or you can check events on Twitter or the organisations in questions web page.

Most of all, be proud of who you are and what you believe in smile

NitramAtTheKrap Wed 19-Nov-14 19:00:05

I often think that I would like this engraved on my gravestone:


She was a barrel of laughs"

You are not alone!

Nokidsnoproblem Wed 19-Nov-14 19:02:46

Hello all! This perfectly describes me too! Nice to meet you all! smile

sweetkitty Wed 19-Nov-14 19:37:14

It's so nice to know I'm not alone. I guess I've always been different, I am NC with my NPD mother in part due to the fact I never agreed with her views, growing up was very difficult for me in a small town where if it doesn't happen there it doesn't happen! The rest of my family are just so different from me I guess I'm the black sheep, first one to go to uni, decided I was veggie at 12, had views so different to their own.

I've never really fitted in, DP and I have differing views especially on the religion front but over the years we've learnt to respect each other's views and we run along together nicely, we often joke we are ying and yang.

Anyway again lovely to meet you all grin

Shootthemoon Wed 19-Nov-14 19:46:45

Hello, me too smile I don't know if I exactly qualify on the pacifist front, though I do think it is appalling that war is even necessary in this day and age and would far rather see a non-violent solution. Does that count?

I too turned veggie at 12. By and large I'm lucky that my friends and family are lovely, though I am considered odd for over-thinking things sometimes smile

whysnicknameinvalid Wed 19-Nov-14 21:36:59

I tick the box on most areas too! Definitely dont think any of these ' labels" make us weird!!

Jackie0 Wed 19-Nov-14 21:42:45

Sometimes I'm not a real vegetarian sad I hope to do better.
I tick all the other boxes though smile

bigbluestars Wed 19-Nov-14 21:43:37

Hi - I can tick 4 of the 5 boxes.

Ashwagandha Wed 19-Nov-14 21:45:41

Yep, I'm all of those too! Hello smile

LentilAsAnything Wed 19-Nov-14 22:02:33

Vegan, feminist, atheist, yeah yeah yeah, and OP, am in Dundee, so maybe not that far from you? That said, I feel as different to vegetarians as I did to meat-eaters when I was vegetarian (i.e. very).
I have a 4yo DS.

Agree with a PP that you need better friends!

And vegan parents, there's a newish vegan parents Fb an page if you are looking for vegan-specific support/friends.

As an atheist, I could not have my child raised RC. I went to catholic schools myself (convents, no less!), and hell, no! That's not a compromise I could make. Good thing DH is also vegan and atheist! Although maybe the strict religious upbringing made me into a better atheist! wink

Ashwagandha Wed 19-Nov-14 22:20:39

claraschu I'm encouraged to read that you felt 'among friends' in San Francisco as in just about to move there smile

Ashwagandha Wed 19-Nov-14 22:21:13

Whoops - as I'm just about to move there.

claraschu Wed 19-Nov-14 22:31:50

Oh how wonderful Ashwagandha. It is such a great place to live.

I am sick of living in a provincial and conservative place. OP, do you have any way of meeting like minded people?

sweetkitty Thu 20-Nov-14 13:10:33

Lentilasanything - my thoughts were I have no religion but DP (yes we are not married!) attends church and it was important to him the DC were brought up RC, to be honest it's not all fire and brimstone in their school it's more about love and respect. I do do an awful lot of tongue biting. The older DCs already know I don't believe and a bit of why but as father are older they will be encouraged to make up their own minds, DP has agreed to this. The parish priest is fantastic, he know we are not married, baptised our children, he has never once tried to preach to me, he's a lovely man and I help out at a few church and school functions.

I'm not justifying myself given the choice I would have preferred the DC to have a secular education.

Having our small DC my social life kind of revolves around them and their children's parents so I don't get to meet many people like me, maybe they are just hiding like me grin

It's so lovely to know I'm not the only one

TheDogsMissingBollock Fri 21-Nov-14 19:24:25

I find life MUCH more interesting with people of every persuasion in it. Other than when i was a teenager, not judged people on the basis of how exactly they matched me but on how well we clicked, chatted and shared interests. For what it's worth, am a feminist, pacifist, animal-loving omnivore. But i don't tend to bang on about it

sweetkitty Fri 21-Nov-14 19:46:38

I'm not dissing my friends I love my friends, I respect those who find comfort in religion, would never dream of mocking it despite what I personally believe. I do love our differences it's just that sometimes it's hard to hide your beliefs all the time, I have one friend who has a real problem with me being a vegetarian which I find baffling in this day and age it's not that radical.

I guess I just feel like the odd one out so started this thread in search of others like me grin

TheDogsMissingBollock Fri 21-Nov-14 20:20:14

Then i suggest you stop hiding your beliefs from friends. No need to be strident with them but perfectly reasonable to say what you believe as appropriate, just as they do. Good friends should be accepting of that.

TheDogsMissingBollock Fri 21-Nov-14 20:24:00

And i guess try not to care as much. If your friend seriously has a problem with you being vegetarian, well that's ridiculous. And her problem, not yours. Or maybe shes just interested in debating it with you? I disagree fundamentally with the idea of being vegetarian (due to the fact that we've evolved to be onnivores) but rarely discuss it unless asked and have a couple of good vegetarian friends. It's not a biggie for any of us.

sunflower49 Fri 21-Nov-14 20:30:49

I think I just about fit that bill. But I'm vegan. And there are many faces of feminism, I might not exactly the same as you smile

IKYTWTLYA Fri 21-Nov-14 20:40:22

Hello, can I join you? I identify with nearly all of sweetkitty's list except vegetarianism. (I rarely eat meat, I don't really like it, DH is a proper grade 3 veggie (PKU) and he's the chef. I do have opinions on the ethical/environmental side of farming). But I wouldn't call myself Vegetarian (it'd be a bit of an insult to actual vegetarians).

Regarding pacifism, Remembrance Day put me in a right pickle. I still don't really know my own opinions on it. I just can't understand how someone can become that violent.

Regarding friends, I'm fortunate to know many people with similar views. I find it difficult (and I'm slightly hesitant to admit it) to deal with people who are religious. Religious belief makes me question people's rationality in other aspects of life. But I'd never want to upset someone. I don't trust myself not to say something wrong and so tend not to foster friendships with very religious people. I suffer with terrible foot-in-mouth syndrome.

[thats badly worded, it's Friday and I'm practically asleep]

TwoLeftSocks Tue 02-Dec-14 16:10:34

I think I tick a lot of your boxes too. I think it makes a big difference where you live - we used to be in a small rural town stuck in the wrong decade but have moved to a big modern city and I feel much more at home now.

writtenguarantee Tue 09-Dec-14 11:13:56

Atheist and vegetarian. not a pacifist, but anti war. and I hate animals (I don't want them in my house or on my plate!). I am, however, against animal cruelty.

I am surprised you don't know any. I am pretty sure I know more atheists than religious people. I certainly know very few serious religious people (i.e. people who believe in doctrine as opposed to some supreme being). Veggies are harder to come by, but I know a few. But almost all meat eaters I know are "veggie positive".

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