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Catholics - would you be happy if your son wanted to be a priest?

(64 Posts)
ThuribleTrouble Tue 14-May-13 14:01:28

Search your soul and be honest.

My son has been accepted for training and I can't find it in me to be happy for him because I think he has no understanding of what it really entails. He is only 18 at the moment.

DioneTheDiabolist Wed 29-May-13 16:29:18

Bunny, in what way would you have "failed as a parent" if one of your DCs were to take holy orders?

1944girl Mon 03-Jun-13 00:10:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thuribletrouble Wed 12-Aug-15 18:34:38

I thought that those who contributed to this thread 2 years ago may be interested in an update.

It was mutually agreed by my son and the vocations director that he wasn't ready to enter the full seminary and has stepped off the course to priesthood I hope, forever.

He is now doing an apprenticeship and seems happy but I am sad that he missed his chance to do University at the "usual" age. I know he still could go to university but going as a mature student is a different experience.

Anyway, thank you to those who gave wise words to me about not trying to stop him. Hopefully it has worked its way out of his system.

HelenaJustina Wed 12-Aug-15 18:40:16

I am Catholic and we are raising our daughters in the Church, if one of them wanted to be a nun I would be awed at the depth of and conviction in their faith and would put trust in the order they joined to know whether or not it was the right decision at the end of a long period of training.

One of my uncles started seminary after university but dropped out and did medicine instead. He needed something to which he could dedicate his life but it turned out not to be God.

HelenaJustina Wed 12-Aug-15 18:42:10

Teach me to look at the date of a thread!
Thank you for the update, well done on letting your son find his own way. You can't know for sure but i suspect your relationship with him is stronger for not having had that 'fight' with him over something about which he felt so strongly.

Curioushorse Wed 12-Aug-15 18:49:30

Hmmm. Should probably namechange. My cousin became a nun a couple of years ago. The whole family is struggling with her choice and I think her parents have lost their faith as a result. They said, 'at least if she'd died we could have a funeral and then move on.'

JillBYeats Wed 12-Aug-15 18:55:48

I would prefer if he didn't take this path but my aunt - now 86 - broke her parents heart by becoming a nun. They begged her to go to college for a year before making a decision but she says she knew it was the right path for her. She is a wonderful aunt and great-aunt to my children. She absolutely adores children - is so interested in all her nieces and nephews and their kids and I would say it was not an insignificant decision to sacrifice that potential in her own life. For the first several years her order was closed and then she spent a long time in Africa. She had to get special permission to come home when her mother was dying. She still is so sure that this was her calling. It is that faith that I would not want to stand in the way of so while I would not be happy nor would I stand in their way. They can leave if it turns out not to be for them in several years time - like someone upthread said: who really knows what they want from life at 18?!

Curioushorse Wed 12-Aug-15 18:56:06

And me, Helena. I'm an idiot. Yeah, OP. Interesting update....and hope things go well for him in the future.

Shuvsi Wed 12-Aug-15 23:28:08

One of my relatives also left on agreement with his Vocations Director this year. Seems they do continually work with the seminarians to ensure that it is the right decision for them.

There was plenty of preparation before he actually joined and he is in his twenties so I was never worried that he was under any pressure to continue. He always said he would give it a year to discern whether or not it was for him.

I was proud of his decision to join and was a bit sad that it didn't work out, however I'm pleased that he's following his heart and was brave enough to make the decision that he feels is right. They have been very supportive of him throughout his journey and ensuring that he gains skills for an alternative future career.

fourtothedozen Thu 13-Aug-15 07:13:14

Surely that's one of the hazards of indoctrinating your children.

Thuribletrouble Thu 13-Aug-15 12:27:08

Too right fourtothesozen. Don't put your daughters on the stage... or let your sons be alter servers and certainly don't let them go on school trips to Lourdes probably best not to send them to a Catholic school in the first place.

I started this thread in part because I wanted other parents to be aware of what happens.

fourtothedozen Thu 13-Aug-15 12:30:00

I agree with all of the above. I come from a very religious family and I am aware of the dangers.

LadyPlumpington Thu 13-Aug-15 12:32:42

Nonreligious person here and I'd be quietly devastated if one of my kids signed up to religion (any religion). I'd try to be supportive and make the best of the situation, but I would not understand it at all.

LadyPlumpington Thu 13-Aug-15 12:34:22

Just seen the date of the thread! I am glad that your son has had the freedom to change his decision. Being a mature student can work out really well so don't worry about that grin

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