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Gelding has a megga smeggy sheath. Help!

(35 Posts)
dooit Sat 18-Oct-08 19:36:50

I bought a lovely gelding 6 or so weeks ago. He was pretty neglected and had had a full MOT since we got him and is in excellent health now.

Yesterday I noticed what I assumed was mud on the inside of his hind legs but as I wasn't grooming him I didn't attempt to remove it. Today I took a brush to it and discovered it wasn't mud but greasy muck in matching spots on the inside of both hind legs and his sheath was also harbouring big greasy gobs of the stuff (nice!).

I did wash his very manky sheath a month or so ago and removed loads of filth from it (I used Mega Tek shampoo that's recommended for the job) but I wonder if I've upset his pH balance or something. There really are quite a lot of "greasy deposits" on him.

Suggestions please as to how best to clean him up without causing any more irritation thanks.

Also, would ant discharge cause tail rubbing? He has sweet itch which I think I've got under control but he's been rubbing his tail like crazy the last day or two.

dooit Sat 18-Oct-08 19:55:07

Not ANT discharge but ANY discharge.grin

snorris Sat 18-Oct-08 20:03:42

I only have mares so no recent experience of geldings "bits" wink. Is he due for worming? Certain worms can cause itching. It may be his sweet itch though,one of my ponies has it and there are still a fair few midgies about. Have you tried theHorse and Hound or NFED forums too for advice?

purpleduck Sat 18-Oct-08 20:06:01

clicked on out of curiousity

<<<queasy>>>>
served me right for being nosy!
Good luck!

dooit Sat 18-Oct-08 20:47:00

He has been wormed recently snorris but I might just re-do him to be sure as I'm pretty certain that he won't have been done at all in his 4 years prior to us getting him.

When he first came to us he rubbed his neck, withers and tail constantly. We bought him a Rambo Protector rug and have used Coopers fly repellent, de-itch, micro tek gel and shampoo and garlic supplements which have stopped him rubbing his withers and mane completely but he's mad for scratching his tail on anything/one at the moment! He's put a hole in his new rug already and I've had to send DH in to repair the post and rail fencing that he's pushed offblush.

I just thought it was a coincidence that his rubbing had worsened just at the same time as this greasy discharge had occurred.

Sorry if I made anyone queasy. Could be worse though, at least I didn't include photo's.grin

bella29 Sat 18-Oct-08 21:57:50

I've always used warm Hibiscrub solution (you can get it from vets) but if his hasn't been done for a while it may take a few goes, perhaps a wekk or so apart to give it time to settle.

Good luck!!!

pandora69 Sun 19-Oct-08 22:08:11

If you are using Mega Tek, strictly speaking it is a conditioner to get hair to grow back quickly. Not sure I would use it on my horse's sheath!

Anyway. I find this description of what to do a little long, but rather amusing. It is one way of getting it done. My preferred technique is to get my friend round who it weird and enjoys it. Here goes:

Mr Hand

Step 1) Check to make sure there are no prospective boyfriends, elderly neighbors, or Brownie troops with a line of sight to the proceedings. Though of course they're probably going to show up unexpectedly ANYWAY once you're in the middle of things. Prepare a good explanation.

2) Trim your fingernails short. Assemble horse, hose, and your sense of humor (plus, ideally, Excalibur cleanser and perhaps thin rubber gloves).

3) Use hose (or damp sponge) to get the sheath and its inhabitant wet. Uh, that is, do this in a civilized fashion with due warning to the horse; he is apt to take offense if an icy-cold hose blasts unexpectedly into his personal regions

4) Now introduce your horse to Mr Hand . What I find safest is to stand facing the horse's head, with my shoulder and hip snugly against the horse's thigh and hip so that if he makes any suspicious move such as raising his leg, I can feel it right away and am in any case pressed so close that all he can do is shove, not really kick.

The horse should be held by an assistant or by your free hand, NOT tied fast to a post or to crossties. He may shift around a good bit if he's not happy with Mr Hand's antics, but don't be put off by that; as long as you are patient and gradual, and stick close to his side, he'll get over it.

Remember that it would be most unladylike of you to simply make a direct grab for your horse's Part. Give the horse a clue about what's on the program. Rest your hand against his belly, and then slide it back til you are entering The Home of the Actual Private Part. When you reach this first region of your destination, lube him up good with Excalibur or whatever you're using.

If the outer part of his sheath is really grungy you will feel little clods and nubblies of smegma peeling off as you grope around in there. Patiently and gently expedite their removal.

5) Thus far, you have probably only been in the outer part of the sheath. The Part Itself, you'll have noticed, is strangely absent. That's because it has retired shyly to its inner chambers. Roll up them thar sleeves and follow in after it

6) As you and Mr Hand wend your way deeper into the sheath, you will encounter what feels like a small portal that opens up into a chamber beyond. Being attentive to your horse's reaction, invite yourself in . You are now in the inner sanctum of The Actual Private Part. It's hiding in there towards the back, trying to pretend it isn't there. Say hi and wave to it .

No, really, work your finger back and forth around the sides of it. If the horse won't drop, this is your only shot at removing whatever dried smegma is clinging to the surface of the Part itself. So, gently explore around it, pulling out whatever crusty topsoil you find there. Use more water and more Excalibur if necessary to loosen attached gunk.

7) When Mr Hand and the Actual Private Part have gotten to know each other pretty well, and the Part feels squeaky clean all around, there remains only one task: checking for, and removing, the bean. The bean is a pale, kidney-shaped accumulation of smegma in a small pouch just inside the urethra. Not all horses accumulate a bean, but IME the majority do, even if they have no visible external smegma.

So: the equine urethra is fairly large diameter, and indeed will permit you to very gently insinuate one of your slimmer fingers inside the urethral opening. Do so, and explore upwards for what will feel like a lump or "pea" buried no more than, I dunno, perhaps 3/4" in from the opening. If you do encounter a bean, gently and sympathetically persuade it out with your finger.

This may require a little patience from BOTH Mr Hand AND the horse, but the horse will be happier and healthier once it's accomplished. In the rare event that the bean is too enormous for your finger to coax out, you might try what I did (in desperation) last month on the orange horse: Wrap thumb and index finger around the end of the Part and squeeze firmly to extrude the bean. Much to my surprise it worked and orange horse did NOT kill me for doing it and he does not seem to have suffered any permanant damage as a result ;-> I have never in my life seen another bean that enormous, though.

Now all that's left to do is make a graceful exit and rinse the area very thoroughly in apology for the liberties you've taken . A hose will be MUCH easier to use here than just a sponge and bucket, IME. Make sure to direct the water into the Part's inner retreat too, not merely the outer part of the sheath. This may require you to enfold the end of the hose in your hand and guide it up there personally.

9) Ta-da, you are done! Say, "Good horsie" and feed him lots of carrots. Watch him make funny faces at the way your hands smell. Hmm. Well, perhaps there is ONE more step...

10) The only thing I know of that is at all effective in removing the lovely fragrance of smegma from your hands (fingernails arms elbows and wherever else it's gotten) is Excalibur. Even then, if you didn't use gloves you may find you've got an unusual personal perfume for a while. So, word to the wise, do NOT clean your horse's sheath just before an important job interview or first date
and of course, there is that one FINAL step...

11) Figure out how to explain all this to your mother (or the kid from next door, or the meter reader, or whoever else you've just realized has been standing in the barn doorway speechlessly watching the entire process.)

Now, go thou forth and clean that Part

bella29 Sun 19-Oct-08 23:24:21

Fantastic, Pandora!!!

umberellascankill Sun 19-Oct-08 23:33:03

bleurgh!

serves me right too

good luck dooit, rather you than me!

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo Mon 20-Oct-08 00:04:54

I think I'll put Pandoras post in as quote of the year week.

snorris Mon 20-Oct-08 09:41:20

Lol!

That's the reason why I only have mares grin.

TskullsScreaming Mon 20-Oct-08 09:46:09

Closes thread door quietly on the way out...

Pixel Mon 20-Oct-08 17:03:30

Our new horse seems to have the same problem (it is all down his legs like Dooit's horse) but unfortunately he kicks every time we approach with the sheath cleanser. When we first got him we were worried about infections and flies and him being uncomfortable so our vet sedated him and did the clean-up job for us. He still managed an almighty kick and just missed my sister! We are gradually getting him used to being fussed around the offending area and he is much better, I can wash his hind legs now. The muck scrubs off with a water brush and some shampoo.

Pixel Mon 20-Oct-08 17:10:03

Dooit, you may have a point about PH balance or something similar as I used to have to be very careful about what products I used on my old pony, some of them definitely made him worse. After much trial and error I found that a big handful of babywipes did the trick and kept the problem under control.
As for tail rubbing, have you checked for lice or mites?

Pixel Mon 20-Oct-08 17:10:29

Dooit, you may have a point about PH balance or something similar as I used to have to be very careful about what products I used on my old pony, some of them definitely made him worse. After much trial and error I found that a big handful of babywipes did the trick and kept the problem under control.
As for tail rubbing, have you checked for lice or mites?

Pixel Mon 20-Oct-08 17:10:53

How did that happen? smile

mehgalegs Mon 20-Oct-08 17:13:18

I only clicked because it had the word megga in title - <considers namechange, megasmeggy, mmh maybe not>

Glad I keep chickens.

Hope your horses penis is gets better soon. <Another of those lines I thought I'd never type>

geordieminx Mon 20-Oct-08 20:09:57

Bleurgh!!!! grin

DecayingDisaster Mon 20-Oct-08 20:15:12

i am so very glad i don't have a horse.

jesuswhatnext Tue 21-Oct-08 16:41:56

well, they say you learn something new everyday grin

me - i'm sticking to cats.

reallyfatcow Tue 21-Oct-08 16:44:59

LICK IT!!

reallyfatcow Tue 21-Oct-08 16:49:02

PANDORA69 YOU ARE FRICKING AWESOME!!!

dooit Fri 24-Oct-08 23:00:28

Pandora that was the funniest version of horse nob cleaning I've ever read.grin Well done you.

I do think as you've such a vast knowledge of such matters that you should do the decent thing and pop over and attend to 'the part' on my behalf.

I'm pleased to report that after another cleaning session (not half as thorough as you suggested mind) that he seems a lot more comfortable and no longer smeggy.

(Just to add that the mega tek shampoo is a different product to the mega tek conditioner and is described in it's blurb as being suitable for jobs involving Mr Hand and Mr Penis)

I've been treating the sweet itch with Coopers fly repellent which is also used a a treatment for lice etc Pixel so I'm pretty sure they are not the cause.
Mehgalegs thanks so much for your kind words and concern for my horses penis. It means a lot.grin

UncleHester Fri 24-Oct-08 23:07:32

Dear christ, this is the most stomach-churning thread title I've ever come across!

I did try to read Pandora's post, honestly I did, but I came over all city girl...

sallystrawberry Fri 24-Oct-08 23:13:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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