What the f happens to plates & cutlery in this house?

[ILoveJoeBrown]

Honestly - there are now 7 grown ups in the house. I've just gone to dish up family dinner & found 1 plate in the dishwasher, 1 plate in the kitchen cupboard & that's it! Checked the cutlery drawer & there are 2 spoons left.

Why why why does everything disappear upstairs, despite telling them not to take stuff upstairs and / or to eat in the kitchen.

I'm considering using a sharpie to write their names one one set of crockery each and they can f'g wash their own stuff by hand.

[Elieza]

I think stopping cooking family dinners is probably a better way of reminding the lazy sods that they need to respect the house rules or they get nothing!

By all means cook for yourself though. Preferably their favourite dish. Whose delicious aroma should waft temptingly up the stairs...

Oh and lock up or hide crisps and snacks so no dinner means they are hungry and can’t fill up on crap. They need to suffer to change!

When they appear saying ‘where’s my dinner mum’ your answer will be ‘since there are not enough clean plates and cutlery I didn’t make you any dinner’ and continue eating quietly yourself while the tutting ensues. You may wish to have your headphones and music handy to block out the winging, stomping and slamming of doors. Stay strong!!

Later on you can remind them that plates etc must be put in the sink/dishwasher/washed by the person who used them or whose turn it is per day to do the dishes. Otherwise you aren’t getting any dinners and there will be no snacks crisps or cakes purchased with the shopping this week.

I dated a guy who had been waited upon by his mother. He was a spoiled brat who expected me to do all his chores. Had to dump him as he refused to change.

[DramaAlpaca]

I don't have many rules for my adult offspring living at home, but one of the cast iron ones is that they must bring plates, glasses, mugs, cutlery downstairs every day. If they forget I send one of them upstairs with a large tray to fetch it all from their rooms.

[ILoveJoeBrown]

We stopped having sit down family meals a long time ago. This once, DH had done a spag bols so all they had to do was come and help themselves. Just so frustrating that there was nothing for them to eat off!

It's a constant theme. You come down in the morning to have breakfast before work & find there's 1 bowl and no spoons...etc

If they went upstairs to eat (treating their rooms like bedsits), why can't they JUST bring the finished dishes DOWN when they're finished. Its really not that hard.

[Elieza]

There has to be consequences for actions or nothing will change.

Onto plan B, whatever you decide that is, as plan A isn’t giving you results.

Once they realise that something bad happens or something good doesn’t happen if they don’t bring their dishes down they will have to change.

[ILoveJoeBrown]

Still struggling this bloody lockdown is driving me just and just making more and more angry about how unloved, unappreciated and useless they think I am.

Constant snipes that my garden isn't immaculate like GF2s Mums is; my kitchen isn't sterile and tidy like GF3s Mums is; the dishes aren't clean enough to eat; etc etc

I was a sahm for 15 years when I tidied up, cleaned and scrubbed all day long and got no thanks for it. Now I've been working ft for 4 years and all they do is complain. We have had a couple of cleaners to help me out but they gave up as there's so much mess on every surface that you can't clean anything. They have a coat rack but their coats are on the floor. Theres a shoe rack, but their shoes are on the floor.

Just been for a furious walk round the block as I don't want to be here at more. What's the point.

I picked myself up after breast cancer 16 years ago and have always kept myself fit and healthy. I dont know why I bother now.

[smileannie]

I feel your pain.
We have only got one left at home now but he’s worse than the others together, especially the hurtful comparisons.
No advice really but wanted to let you know you aren’t alone. My mum always used to say the more you do, the more you get taken for granted.