Christmas gifts question

(8 Posts)
Silbury1967 Sat 09-Nov-19 18:41:09

Two of our older kids are living with partners this year which presents me with a quandry over what to buy/how much to spend on the new partners.
Up until this year their partners have just had a token gift off us. Now they're living together I'm not sure how to work this:
do I spend the same amount of money as I normallly spend on my kids and buy a token gift for partners like last year
do I spend the same amount as I spent on my kids last year but split the gifts between them? (eg if I normally spend £50 on my child do I now spend £25 each?)
do I buy something between them for their home? (not a favourite idea of mine as I don't know their tastes enough)
do i get them a gift voucher or money to the amount I would normally spend on my child?
I wish I could treat the new partners the same as my own kids and spend the same amount on each of them as I do my own kids, but money is tight and spending extra isn't really an option.
wwyd? How do other families deal with this when money is sparse?.

OP’s posts: |
soloula Sat 09-Nov-19 18:44:51

My mum increased the amount she spent on DH and decreased the amount on me. I'm happy with that as once we were serious and living together he became part of the family and if he'd be given a pair of socks or something while I had a big (value-wise) present then I'd have felt uncomfortable.

froomeonthebroom Sat 09-Nov-19 18:49:20

PILs give all their children and partners the same amount of money (£50). My DPs give DH and BIL a gift worth about half of what they give me and DSis, so also around the £50 mark.

froomeonthebroom Sat 09-Nov-19 18:50:20

Meant to add, I would say a smaller gift for partners is fine.

Mrsjayy Sat 09-Nov-19 18:53:08

Can you give them a joint bottle or something and still give the token gift to the partner.

Silbury1967 Sat 09-Nov-19 21:27:50

Hmm I guess soloula's idea is the most practical. I thought life got easier when kids grew up and left home grin

OP’s posts: |
Silbury1967 Sun 10-Nov-19 20:01:36

Following on from this how.much do others spend on their adult kids? Dh thinks I spend too much at £50 - £60 each now that they're grown up and independent whereas I think that's about right. He's also of the belief that the amount I spend on each one should be shared once they have a partner.

OP’s posts: |
Astrabees Mon 20-Jan-20 11:29:56

I've been married for over 30 years, my relations spend about twice as much on me as they do on DH, he doesn't mind as he would rather have 2 bottles of decent wine than some of the weird and wonderful items I've received.

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