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Sister and dad can't work it out

(2 Posts)
Realmumstuff Wed 10-Apr-19 22:43:46

Hi, long story which I'll try and shorten...my sister and niece moved in with my mum and dad after living abroad last summer (she's not working although has a large pot of savings from a house sale). She hasn't looked for a job or contributed to any house bills or food.

In January this year my mum had a stroke and my dad gave up work to help out with her care. My dad blamed my sister for it as my sister tried to make changes to their house (I thought they were positive changes) but my parents didn't.

My sister cleans their house and is great with caring for my mum but hasn't paid a penny since she moved in. This is causing major resentment as my dad said he is so short on money as he has to pay for my sister and niece (all his pension goes on bills and buying food for all 4 of them). But as conversations get so heated with them both of them neither will speak up! Dad has started saying no when they need things which is a start. I have offered to come and talk to them both (I have spoken to them individually and my sister will not entertain the idea of talking about money and she won't sign on) but I always tend to be the one who has to act as mediator...I can't see why my dad just doesn't say things are really tight, is there any way you can contribute to food/bills or sign on so we have money coming in!

In one way she has been a huge help with my mum and looking after the house but I still think she must pay her way, be that from her savings or from signing on!

Any advice you can offer on a way to solve this would be very gratefully received.

Jackyjill6 Fri 12-Apr-19 07:06:53

I don't think she will be entitled to bebefits if she has significant savings. Your parents might though, there is Carer's allowance etc

I think you have to talk to your sister to get some understanding of what is going on. Has she not worked for a long time and lost confidence in her employability skills.

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