Worry over dd20

[Tamarapudding]

I'm worried about dd. I guess I've had it relatively easy as she's been in a steady long term relationship but since that ended (she was heartbroken) she has started partying a lot, staying out etc and I'm worried and don't know how to handle things. Im just not used to this. I won't go into details but she has made a few silly mistakes that she now regrets. I wish I didn't know about them but when things go wrong I usually find out as she will come to me. She doesn't tell me everything though.

I know she's an adult and I cannot tell her how to live her life but how do I advise her without sounding judgemental and disapproving? I can't talk to dh about this. I think a lot of it is due to the breakup and her trying to prove she is over him/ having a good time/loveable.

So what do you do? How do you stop worrying every time they go out? Sorry for rambling and I'm sure I'm not the only person in this position. I have no one in RL I can/feel able to talk to.

[Whodeenie]

I don’t think you ever stop worrying, no matter how old your dc are. Maybe she’s just blowing off steam after her breakup and she will get fed up with it and settle down. I remember myself at a similar age, recently single and partying for all I was worth. I did make some questionable choices, ie one night stands etc but that was 30 years ago and things have changed a lot since then.

However, kids these days seem to be a lot more clued up about things so hopefully she will be ok. Once they move out you will worry less. Ds doesn’t live at home any more so I tend not to worry about him as much but dd still at home and I can’t help but be on edge until I hear her coming in the door. You are not alone.