Youngest child becoming an adult

[buttonbaggins]

I'm really struggling accepting my youngest son as an adult. He has always been very close to me and shared his thoughts etc freely. He has just finished his first year at University and has come home for the summer break. He has recently obtained a lovely girlfriend too. He has become an independent man in the last year of being away. The first day he was back he sorted his stuff and threw out a lot of his childhood things. I saved a few things I feel in years to come he will like to look back on. But he didn't seem to see the importance of keeping them. He is a lovely kind, caring lad and I am so pleased he is doing well and has found a lovely girlfriend. But I feel so emotional all the time and feel as if I have lost him! Its so irrational I know. He has another two years at Uni, so he's not moving out permanently for a long time. I just feel like I'm turning into a monster future mother in law who thinks no one is worthy of her baby boy!! lol. I want him to grow up and move on but its so hard to let him do it!

[saoirse31]

Aw, you sound lovely, have D's just starting last yr of school, so bit behind you... I'd def keep some of the old things.

Great to see them grow up to be lovely people though

[PetalMePotts]

Your post made me feel very sad for your son. If you want a future good relationship with him I think you would be well advised to re-read your post. Then try an analyse it as if you don't know the people concerned.

Already you are undermining his adult decisions. You are letting him know he has made wrong decisions regarding things he has thrown away. You are letting him know that you think cannot be trusted with how he will feel in the future. You are trying to protect him from a future regret, even though that is not your role now.

You are in danger of being the subject a DM post, entitled "I threw out all my childhood crap, and my mum has now turned up at my new home with it in a box"

Please try to celebrate this new stage in your son's life,it is very unhealthy to do otherwise.

[MrsJayy]

Tbf I don't think she is clutching her son to her bosum wailing my baby don't leave me so no need ti be sad for him. button you just need to take a breath and let it wash over you if he is your last child then of course you are feeling emotional about it. M 19yr old is away working for the summer I am trying to play it cool but i am really missing her already i know it is daft but you feel how you feel

[terrylene]

He sounds perfect!

He knows he is growing up and seems to know what to do about it. That is priceless. Give yourself a big hug!

My DMIL kept everything she could of DH's and kept trying to give it to us . Some of it was useful, but most not, and we still have stuff hanging round - the unreliable Scalextric under my bed . We have a battery operated microscope with slides too...........exciting in the early 70s, but of no interest now.

[Sparklingbrook]

I don't feel sad for him either I think button sounds like a great parent.

DS1 will be 18 very soon and is off to University in September all things being well. I have huge mixed emotions about it all.

He has a box of 'childhood crap' in the loft. Football trophies and medals, signed shirts from Year 4, 6 and 11. Things his late grandparents and great grandparents gave him. At some point they will need to be sorted and gone through but no hurry.

I am celebrating the new stage but also reminiscing the past bits.