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Parenting

Shy child

5 replies

MickyLee · 14/05/2010 09:03

My DD is painfully shy. Any parents out there have good advice to help with shyness?

She is going to nursery school now and is reaaly happy there but did take a while to settle. She is picking up naughty tricks though and not speaking as nice as she did however me and DH were determined to always kick any naughty habits in the bud when she did them.. for instance.. Shouting no when we asked her a question etc.. you know the usual things you expect children to start copying when mixing.

But the trouble is she was being rude most of the time as i expect she is tired when she comes home. But this was resulting in what we felt was 'picking on her' and knoking her confidence more.

What do you think is best.. working on her confidence and just ignoring it or telling her it is wrong. It seems so hard to keep a happy medium.

How have any of you delt with extreme shyness?

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lingle · 14/05/2010 09:06

definitely definitely go for building her confidence.

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EmilyA · 14/05/2010 09:23

Certainly ignore this phase as it is just that - a phase.

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MickyLee · 14/05/2010 09:27

EmilyA - By phase, you mean the cheeky phase or the shy phase?

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werewolf · 14/05/2010 09:40

I second lingle.

Build her confidence - it's awful being shy and it is very easy for parents to knock a child's confidence.

Re the shouting, you could tell her to use her 'at home' voice, not her 'nursery voice' or 'inside voice' rather than 'outside voice'. Sounds a bit pants, but gets the distinction across to her.

May I suggest you never, ever, call her a shy child in front of other people. It only reinforces it and makes her internalise it. It's all too easy to label a child and it makes it hard for them to change.

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MickyLee · 14/05/2010 13:17

Thanks for all your advice.. I'm going to ignore her cheeky times then and build on confidence.

Werewolf- really great advice.. I do try not to mention the wprd "shy" in front of her but it is quite hard sometimes when she appears to be rude by ignoring people when they talk to her.. i find the word slipping out.. I must find a different choice of word.
Also people always ask her if she is shy. Maybe I should just say she isn't and label her as confident and sod what the person thinks.