12week old only has naps on me during the day

[ems147]

my 12 week old only has naps on me during the day, il normally have to rock her to sleep then she sleeps on my chest for an hour or 2, if i try an put her down she will wake straight away or after 5-10mins. and she has never got herself to sleep except in pram or car, and whenever the car engine stops or pram stops moving she wakes again. is this normal or can i train her to get to sleep by herself and stay asleep.

[chibi]

is she your only child?

dd was like this, i tried a few things, nothing worked, i felt like a crap mum and a failure, but then i just decided to let her.

then from about 5 months ish i would bf her to sleep then put her down in bed next to me, she slept and i could read or snooze myself

suddenly at a year of age she decided that she was happy to be put down in her cot for naps and napped like this quite happily until she was 2

i never really minded tbh, i know it isn't the way you are 'supposed' to do things, but if you don't mind, it doesn't matter

it had no long term effects/fallout

i am sure you will get lots of helpful advice about how to get her in her cot/basket, just wanted to give you an alternative

[ems147]

yea my only child, i do enjoy the cuddles, and she will sleep on her own at nighttime in the moses basket with help of bfing and a dummy-i do worry were getting into bad habits with this.

just feel guilty that i shud be doing housework while she sleeps in the day.

[sparkleshine]

My DS was the same but at 21 wks I've nearly cracked it. Even my mum said that I was gonna have to get him out of it. He will sleep through the night and in car, pram etc but mostly on me and can't get anything done.

What I found out through trial and error, was/is that if he falls asleep on me and I put him down, say on play mat or rocker etc, to get stuff done in the house, he wakes and doesn't know what's happened and cries for attention coz he doesn't know where I am and last time he was awake, I was holding him ( if u get what I mean)
So I've been trying to put him down when still awake, or wake him gently so he knows what's happening and where I've gone.
This is only what I think he's thinking but it's slowly working so far.

[ICouldHaveWrittenThis]

Can you take her out in the pram during the day when she needs to sleep? You'll get some fresh air, and if it's stop-start-stop-start she might get used to settling herself again?

Housework? With a newborn? Balls to it, housework will wait, sleeping babies do not

(I will try and find the poem that says pretty much that, if someone doesn't beat me to it)

[ICouldHaveWrittenThis]

I hope my child looks back on today
And sees a mother who had time to play.
There will be years for cleaning and cooking
But children grow up when you?re not looking
Tomorrow I?ll do all the chores you can mention
But today, my baby needs time and attention
So settle down cobwebs; dust go to sleep,
I?m cuddling my baby, and babies don?t keep.

[sanfairyann]

if you get a sling you can also do the cleaning while she sleeps although sitting down with a cup of tea sounds the better option
enjoy the cuddle time

[sparkleshine]

Oh btw, he goes to bed in his cot awake so he knows it's bedtime and we haven't abandoned him. When we used to put him in asleep, he used to cry like crazy and we realised it feels to him like he's woken up alone, not knowing what's going on between being downstairs all snuggly on mummys chest to being in his cot alone

that's how we kinda went to try it during the day

[CrystalQueen]

My DD was just like yours at three months. I spent the first few months holding onto her during the day. Make the most of it I say, and screw the housework. Toddler cuddles are great, but sleeping baby cuddles are so nice. From about 8 months (I think, can't quite remember) she started napping much better in her cot. As long as she sleeps OK at night then I wouldn't worry.

[2catsand1rabbit]

Ahh how lovely What a secure person she will grow into. She's just behaving naturally, like all other mammals. We have a strange culture which tries to make a baby an individual as soon as they are born. However, my DS was like this and you struggle to get anything else done! Also, I found other mothers boasting how well their babies slept just got me down and I felt that I should be 'training him'. Now I realise that you should just go with it. They won't do it forever.
Sorry, not very helpful advice here!
x

[KatyS36]

DD was like this, I really did enjoy it, but by 5 months my back was giving out. It can be exhausting for you if this is the only way she will nap.

I eventually employed a nursery nurse for a few afternoons. With a lot of kindness (and determination!) she taught DD to nap in her cot, using gentle rocking and (with our consent) a dummy.

It's bliss, and I'm glad we've now got to this stage.

[ICouldHaveWrittenThis]

what 2cats said

[tablefor3]

Ditto the rest. My DD did this and over time as she matured I could put her in her cot or in a nest on the floor to sleep. Everything babies do (good and bad) is just a phase, you do not create bad habits.

Please just enjoy the time! I know you are thinking about the laundry and cleaning and having some food, but really they can all wait

[Bensmum76]

My DS slept on me for his daytime naps until he was 5.5 months old. By the end of it I was desperate to change things. Especially as he was going to nursery at 6 months. In the end we bought a camera so we could watch him in his cot and found that he cried when his thumb fell out of his mouth so we knew that he was ok. We did use controlled crying, which I know some people don't agree with or are uncomfortable with but it worked for us, and within 10 days he was fine. It took him a while to sleep for more than half an hour at a time but he ended up being a brilliant sleeper during the day and still is now and he's 2.6 years old!! BTW he was sleeping through the night in his own moses basket/cot from 5 weeks so we knew he was able to self soothe.

[SqueezyB]

Definitely get a sling - I had a kari me sling and DD had all her daytime naps in it. It meant at least I could potter around the house and get a few things done, like washing up etc. I also fed her to sleep at night, and gave her a dummy, all of the things they tell you not to do! But she grew out of it in her own time and is now a happy confident 2-year-old who sleeps well at night and has a daytime nap with no fuss at all. No.2 due in a few weeks, and I've got the sling dusted off and ready...

[ems147]

thank you all for your support! at least im not the only one!

we are giving her a dummy at night and has previously gone from sleepin 10-5/6 to wakin every 4 hours. no idea why, we havent changed anythin to my knowledge. and its so frustrating knowing that she can sleep through but just wont anymore. wanted to move her through to her own room and the cot but not comfortable doing that now with her waking up so much.

im torn between just letting her nap on me an enjoying it or trying to get her used to sleeping elsewhere. for starters im not sure where the best place is for her to sleep ie her carseat or moses basket or cot.

[Morloth]

Forget the housework, my DS1 is 6 now and I have to virtually crash tackle him for a cuddle. You will blink and they will be all grown up. I am so glad I ignored the "rod for your own back" people and snuggled him whenever he wanted.

I feed them to sleep as well. DS1 goes to bed now when told, so no long term problems there. I did try a dummy, but both have spat them at me when they found out nothing came out.

DS2 currently sound asleep in my arms.

Slings to mean you can still cuddle and be up and about, I use a hugabub.

[Shaz10]

My son is 9 months and is only now starting to nap by himself. I spend a long time on the internet! But I wouldn't swap it, I love cuddling him.