R.U.B.B.I.S.H
In my group of mum friends, we all only met because we are mums, that was the first link. We could not be more different but thats what I like, when we get talking, we just cant stop... well ok I talk most of the time
You should not feel like you have to talk at first, you could just listen, some people just take a little linger to warm up, if they are nice people they will catch on that you are a little shy and uncomfortable so they should make it easier for you.
I tell you what first, you sound like you need something for you. I know you work and your tired, but think of things that excite or interest you, have you ever wanted to learn something, language, pottery, art etc? Well do a short course or set of workshops, immediately you have things to talk about. You know you should always remember that no matter how bad you feel today that tommorow is a whole new fresh day and you dont have to feel this way tomorrow. Sounds cheesy but true. You need to talk to someone about how you feel. If your job makes you feel awkward maybe its not right for you, maybe you should look for a different job or different career, life is too short to waste.
Think about yourself, be a little selfish, write down what makes you sad in one column and what makes you happy in the other, next mark out all the one that you could realistically change and then the ones that are left, think about what you could do with all your power to change, you never know.
Take care and remember that mumsnetters are always here to listen