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Please read my thread under Depression(14 Posts)
Have posted a thread under Depression but may well be more suited to here but cant figure out how to copy and paste??!! PLease read my other thread and save me from further inadequacy!!
FWIW Mandymoo, it wouldn't bother me if I met you and thought you didn't know much about parenting. I have had 4 children and do feel pretty confident about my parenting skills, but meeting someone with less experience doesn't mean I wouldn't like them.
I was interested in your post a I also feel women don't like me, but because of that, I can't really suggest anything you can do!
Lonelymum - thank you for sorting out my thread!!
Its more that i just dont feel comfortable with other women. Being in toddler groups and an office full of women is my worst nightmare.
I hate myself for feeling like this cos it sounds sooooo pathetic and childish but i cant help it.
I only have one or two very close female friends. I prefer my own company but have to be sociable for sake of dd. I am not good at making friends
So would you say you are not looking for friendships?
You need to find some nice mammies to be around who will cheer you up and give you confidence in yourself. To be honest I found most play groups to be filled with miserable fat moody clicky mums, I could not believe how unfriendly they were, I am a confident person but I cam away feeling self consious and miserable. Have to say i tried a few more until a found a couple of good ones.
Where do you live? You could come meet me and my friends, we all perk each other up when down and we can all be rubbish at tantrum controlling and speak rubbish most of the time but so what?
within workplace my ideal situation would be to go in and do my work, have nice pleasant conversation and go home to my gorgeous dd and spend the rest of my week being a sahm. BUT in real life its not as simple as that. I feel like i should be making friends in order to be part of the office group. God it sounds so silly typing this but its how i feel,
Within toddler group i would like to make friends but i guess i just dont understand why anyone would want to be my friend as i have nothing to offer. Now i am sounding sorry for myself
lovecloud - would love to come and meet you but probably dont live anywhere near you. Thanks for your message X
what do you mean why would anyone want to be my friend i've got nothing to offer? your a person, you've got thoughts and feelings just like the rest of us, i'd love to make a friend who was down to earth and not trying to fit in and be someone or something their not
In my group of mum friends, we all only met because we are mums, that was the first link. We could not be more different but thats what I like, when we get talking, we just cant stop... well ok I talk most of the time
You should not feel like you have to talk at first, you could just listen, some people just take a little linger to warm up, if they are nice people they will catch on that you are a little shy and uncomfortable so they should make it easier for you.
I tell you what first, you sound like you need something for you. I know you work and your tired, but think of things that excite or interest you, have you ever wanted to learn something, language, pottery, art etc? Well do a short course or set of workshops, immediately you have things to talk about. You know you should always remember that no matter how bad you feel today that tommorow is a whole new fresh day and you dont have to feel this way tomorrow. Sounds cheesy but true. You need to talk to someone about how you feel. If your job makes you feel awkward maybe its not right for you, maybe you should look for a different job or different career, life is too short to waste.
Think about yourself, be a little selfish, write down what makes you sad in one column and what makes you happy in the other, next mark out all the one that you could realistically change and then the ones that are left, think about what you could do with all your power to change, you never know.
Take care and remember that mumsnetters are always here to listen
Thank you so much lovecloud - you are right - life is too short to waste. Your friends are very lucky to know you X
We all have rubbish days/weeks but just keep a check on yourself and dont let yourself feel this way for too long.
Sending bug hugs
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