Tips on how to get a 7yr old out to school without shouting!

[Chrysanthamum]

My 2 New Years Resolutions were
i) to get my son to school on time every day
ii) to leave the house in a happy zen state without any banshee like screeching.

Actually I've managed well this month til today. I've a 2yr old a 5mth old and a 7 yr old. Usually we're all organised at 8.30am and then someting goes wrong like missing gloves or a reading folder or a howling tantrum and the minutes just vanish and it gets v stressful. Its a 10 minute brisk walk to the school but often my good natured 7yr old just dawdles along in slow motion. This morning he would not move to do anything. Teeth brushing took ages, putting on his coat took an eternity, then he teased his brother who howled. The only way I can make him move faster is by shouting at him. I've tried cajoling, giving clear calm instructions and I leave everything out for him the night before to make his life easier. Today I lost the rag, then nagged him en route to school-we made it on time. I then felt awfully guilty as he dolefully went through the school gates. He has completely forgotten about it. I've vowed to be more patient tomorrow. Anyone out there got a solution?

[zanz1bar]

Nope, no idea but watching this thread like a hawk.

Can't face many more mornings with me screaming and Dd in tears.

[vvvodka]

absolutelly no idea. and it doesnt get any easier, when the 7 year old is the youngest either. we've had a particularly traumatic time this morning, and i have sent her to bed asking for a nice calm morning please. but, am rather concerned itwont be happening.



i recall yelling up the stairs to ds1 when he was in year six, its 8;29 would you please get out of bed!!! he had to be at school before 9. fortunately at the time, i had stopped walkinghim to school, just had to get him out the door.

[elliott]

I had this problem with ds1 (aged just 8, yr 3). I decided to try the 'how to talk' approach (well what I remembered of it, I haven't read the book for a while).
Basically we sat down with a piece of paper and I explained that we needed to work out how to get out of the house on time without us getting so cross with him (which we agreed neither of us enjoyed!). I let him come up with a range of suggestions and added a couple of my own. Anyway, things have been a lot better since then (and we haven't in fact implemented all solutions) - I think just the act of talking it through and him feeling listened too (and listening to me as well) has really helped it become a shared problem we can solve, rather than something that we simply impose and nag about.
Worth a try I would say.

[elliott]

he actually came up with some amazingly good and sensible ideas by himself. And that helped him to feel more in control, I think.

[blametheparents]

DS (age 8) has an early morning chart to ensure he gets out of the house on time and to school.
He and I came up with the list of things that need to be done by 8.20am
Get dressed, eat breakfast, pjs on bed, bedroom lights off and curtains open, packed lunch in bag etc.
If not completed on time then no cubs - harsh I know, but fed up with shouting and it is the only thing that gets thru to him.

[Othersideofthechannel]

I agree with Elliot, that trying the problem solving approach could help alot.

I have a 6 (almost 7 yr old) and a 5 year old and we always do everything in the same order every day so they know what has to be done next.

The older one has just learnt to tell the time, so (because of me ending up shouting last week ) we have just made an illustrated poster so he knows what has to be done by when.
Hopefully he will also be watching the clock with me a bit from now on.

Also, I would have no qualms letting the older one be late a few times so the teachers have a chance to explain the importance of punctuality. Unfortunately this is not an option because it would make DD late and me late for work. Could this work for you?

[frakkinaround]

I had this with my charge and I did 3 things:

1. Had early morning tick lists/routines whcih we made together for him and for me so we raced
2. Timed him doing the things he needed so he had target times to beat/reach eg. for dressing (beating) and teeth brushing (reaching).
3. Got absolutely everything ready and laid out the night before, if it wasn't on the pile then tough. This was also partly to combat the tendency to want to take X,Y or Z into school to 'show' that morning.

[Chrysanthamum]

Some good ideas here thanks. Last night we had a chat about how to improve things and this morning we had a v smooth prompt exit. I can't help thinking this was more to do with the fresh snow on the ground and the winter sunshine though!
I think I'll make a list of things with him later. An illustrated poster sounds fun. We do everything in the same order but he forgets and he has been known to lounge on his bed after breakfast with a book for 20 mins when he's supposed to be getting dressed. The excuse is sometimes 'I dreamt it was Saturday'
His school is fairly laidback on punctuality and we're never more than a few mins late. I just hate walking towards the school when the other parents are walking home!