coping with 5 month old and 2 year old

[pud1]

just wanted some words of wisdom re my 2 dd. i am starting to feel the strain. they both have colds at the moment and night times are a nightmare. they share a room and when i take the older one to bed she wakes the younger one up. i end up then having to resettle young one but she does have a little cry to get to sleep and this wakes the older one. this is hapeneing all night so i end up with them both in bed with me. the older dd has never slept through but i thought this would get better when she shares with ehr sister but no joy.

[nellanella]

Hello

I can't offer many words of wisdom but to sympathise - I have a very similar age gap and we are not getting a full nights sleep and haven't for goodness knows how long. I thought the first 3-4 months would be the worst but I am finding it getting harder. I also have the 2 of them in same room and there is some disturbance but it is getting better so all I can say is hang in!

If anyone else can help us to cope with 2 very small children please come and give advice!

[WayItGhouls]

I have ds13.11, ds2 2.5 and ds3 8 weeks. Only advice I can offer is to do whatever works and gets you through the next few months.

my eldest 2 started sharing a room at 2.1 and 7 months and I would settle the older one first ( he liked a story etc) and then sneaked the other one in once eldest was asleep. If the younger one needs to fall asleep earlier than this - could you settle her in your room and transfer across? Not ideal but could save you some anguish in the short term!

[WayItGhouls]

Sorry, meant to add, you could use bed guard on your bed if you're worried about her falling out ( ds 2 had single bed and bed guards like this until he was 1 - then moved to the cot). They do them suitable for double beds

HTH

[WayItGhouls]

Actually, am sure there is a "2 or more preschooler" thread running, that is choc full of experts who could give loads of strategies that I've probably never thought of!

[Rosie29]

My 2 dds are now 5 and 3, there is a 21 month gap between them and I know exactly how you feel.

Take a deep breath, and repeat, it's a phase ane will pass. I lost count of the times I called my dh during the day/evening to complain that I just couldn't cope with the 2 of them!

I don't have much help with regards to the sleeping arrangeemnts as mine were in separate rooms when they were small. Is it possible for you to have the baby in your room, at least until she's better?

I would agree with Ghouls that you have to do whatever you can to get through this hard first year. If that means endless dvds or cbeebies for the toddler then so be it. When baby is asleep make food/snacks so you are not trying to cook with a starving toddler and screaming baby.

Even though it may not be possible at the monent due to colds/snow try to get out the house at least once a day, even just for a walk down the road and back. This will help the baby sleep better and tire your toddler. I am off to deal woth dc 3 but will have a think about more ideas and get back to you.

[Rosie29]

Sorry for typos, in a rush!

[wheredidmyfeetgo]

Hi I have a nearly 3 year old and a 21 month old, so just 14 month gap between them.
They started sharing a room when the youngest was 7 months old and was ready to leave our room.
We have always been lucky with our two and they have always slept through the night, apart from odd times when they are ill.
The only advice I can offer is that we were very strict on bath and bed time routine. They would have a bath every night after dinner. Get into PJ's and be up in their room for their milk at 7.30. We found it easier putting them both down at the same time.
Couldn't agree more with getting out- my local sure start centre is only 5 mins walk, I didn't know about it when I had DS1 but it saved my life when I had DS2. We went to every club, which meant we were the every day morning and afternoon.
Re trying to cook with two of them, we lived on meals done in the slow cooker. The boys normally sleep 12+ hours a night, so I used to get up about 7.30/ 8 and prepare what I needed to and chuck it in the slow cooker and leave it of for the day. Meal times all I really needed to do was dish out.
Right I'm off to plan how to survive DC3 as I'm 16 weeks pregnant and starting to panic!

[jumpyjan]

Sympathies Pud1 - sounds v tough. All I can offer is that I am finding it is getting easier - DS is now 8 months and we feel that we have finally turned a corner. I think the hardest part was around 4/5 months. Older DD who would have been 2.5 at that point slept much better and was more likely to sleep though any noise once she had dropped her daytime nap.

Hang on in there I am sure the corner is about to be turned.

[Rosie29]

Another thought is that we have one of those bath seats for a baby so were are able to bath older kids and baby together. This helps when they are not quite able to sit up unaided. We still use this with ds (11 months) so we can bath all 3 kids without him getting trampled by his sisters!. An extended bath also uses up that unending time between tea and bed which can seem never-ending!

Play-dooh also a life saviour to get you dd to sit at the table whilst you potter around.

[wheredidmyfeetgo]

Oh Rosie I may be coming to you for tips with how to cope with 3. DS1 will be 3yrs 5 months and DS2 will be 2 years 3 months when DC3 arrives!

[Rosie29]

I'm not sure my tips are that ethical! I seem to survive by putting the tv on most of the time!

I think the biggest hurdle is seeing past what needs to be done right now. Often the baby needs attention, the elder two are hungry, there's washing to be hung out, more to be folded and it all seems to be a mountain of work for you to do. You have to take a step abck and deal with the most important task and then the next. And expecting a serious drop in household standards for the next few years!

Also being very prepared when dc3 arrives helps, I had a freezer full of food and a baby bouncy chair on every floor (3 storey house), so I always had somewhere to plonk the baby without carrying anything up and down the stairs. Now he's 11 montha old it is much easier and can be plonked in the playpen for a bit!