Moving house - how to get a two/three year old settled?

[SoTiredOfTheWheelsOnTheBus]

We are (hopefully/fingers crossed/trying not to jinx it before it happens) moving house next month, when DS will be nearly three and are after tips for getting him settled in the new house. I think it will be a stressful enough day without keeping him amused/out of the way, so my parents have offered to look after him at their house on the day.

We're planning to try to set his bedroom up to keep it as similar as his old room for familiarity (same curtains, same pictures on the wall, etc.). We're not sure whether it would be best for him to stay overnight at my parents (or even two nights), and come back to a new and mostly unpacked house, ready to be run-around and explored, or whether it would be better to get him more involved, and have him come back that evening and help us getting his room straight?

If anyone has been in this position, with a similarly aged child, how did you do it? Do you have any tips on how to make this all run smoothly?

[Pineapplechunks]

I don't have similarly aged child(any longer) but one thing I can tell you NOT to do is to allow him to fall asleep at your parents and then transfer him to the new house, whilst still sleeping, and let him wake up in his new room.

Not a good surprise speaking from experience with my DD here. She was in bed with me so didn't wake up alone in a strange house but still didn't appreciate the shock.

[GentleOtter]

Don't wash his duvet cover or bedding before the move - keeping the familiar smell of the old house can be a bit of a comfort.

Let him help as much as possible too - either unpacking his toys, putting the plastic things away, etc. Picnics on the floor.

Good luck in your new home.

[Indith]

We moved when ds was 2 and a half. We all moved together. We moved a few days after getting the keys so we had taken him to the empty house, he had seen his room, our room, dd's room etc. We explained we would be taking all his toys etc with us. When we moved the priority was to get the furniture in his room sorted and put his books on the shelf etc. He helped dh to put his bed together. He was ok with it, he did talk about the old house for a long time and whenever we went that way he wanted to go back there but he was perfectly happy in the new house.

[SoTiredOfTheWheelsOnTheBus]

Thanks, he's seen the new house a couple of times when we've looked around(he likes it, the current owner keeps giving him biscuits), and we were planning on waiting until contracts have been exchanged then walking past it regularly and talking about it then (we don't want to do it too early in case things fall through and how do you explain that to a two-year old), but that's a good idea about not putting clean bedding on GentleOtter.

[neversaydie]

When we moved when ds was 3.5, I promised him we would take all the familiar things from his bedroom - the curtains, the lampshade, the bed and bedding etc. He then asked if we could take the paint on the walls...

I agree with the suggestion that you take the bedding unwashed - familiar smells are very important to some children.

The only other thing that I did for DS was to start reading him a 'chapter book' that bridged the move, so that he had something interesting and with familiar characters to look forward to. Not too sure how practical that would be for a slightly younger child, though. (The book was 'Little House in the Big Woods' for what it is worth..)

[Indith]

Oh yes, books! We read Moving Molly lots before moving.

[stillfrazzled]

We moved three months ago, when DS was 2.3.

We did what you've done so far - showed him round (he liked it too) and walked past it a lot and talked about the new house.

We also kept talking about the advantages - 'at the new house, DS will have a garden/room for his trainset etc etc etc'. My parents did it too.

My parents took him the day before moving day, and brought him back the day after so we moved and unpacked without him being disrupted. It was hard (we missed him) but totally worth it - and we got to be non-parents for a day or two and slope off to the pub after a hard day's work .

The familiar toys etc are important I think, but the thing that worked best was promising that Thomas-obsessed DS could have 'trains in his room'. He picked up on that and I got him new train bed linen, curtains, stuck a few Thomas posters on the wall and so on.

He adores it, has been really happy and hasn't had one bad night. I was stunned but chuffed.

Good luck.

[Orangesarenottheonlyfruit]

Hi, we actually moved 3 times in 4 weeks. Lastly into a building site! We have a 2.2 year old and she wowed me by being more cool about the whole situation than me. She just accepted it and as long as her routine is roughly the same isn't that bothered. I think children are more resilient than we know.

[Acinonyx]

We moved when dd was nearly 3. She moved with us and found the proces quite exciting. Our first priority after unpacking was to decorate her room and she went to the shop and chose the colours which were entirely different to her old room. She enjoyed setting up her room in a new way.

[nouveaupauvre]

we've just moved with 2.5yo, i know eveyrone tells you not to have them with you on moving day but we kept ds with us and i think it helped. he was extremely interested in the removal men packing up (mostly because he's very interested in lorries, really) and saw our house being emptied and then all the same stuff coming out in the new house, so he could work out what had happened. he also saw the new owners come into our old house. we talked a lot about what was going on and how they were going to live there now and we were going to have a nice new house. also set up the new bedroom with all the same stuff as the old. there were a few weeks of questions about the old house but he seems to have taken the whole thing in his stride. good luck!
oh and dont forget to keep a bag in the car with all the stuff dc will want as a matter of urgency in the new house, it's easy to remember to keep all the adult stuff to hand (like kettle and teabags) and all the boring child stuff to hand (nappies,food etc) but ds had different priorities (a football to play with in new garden etc) which involved a lot of hasty unpacking.