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Resentful..................

(10 Posts)
curtains Fri 01-Jul-05 07:54:39

I'm fed up with never having any time to myself.I've got no family near who can take the kids for an hour or so and give me a break. I've never had a night away by myself or with dh and the oldest is 7.There's just no-one to help us. I know it's not the end of the world but after years of being at home I'd love some me time. I work p/t to fit round the kids but it's not a break, it's care work.To make it worse I've got a neighbour with 1 kid who's got support from her family coming out of her ears and she's always moaning to me and looking for sympathy about how hard it is for her, but I rarely see her with her ds he's usually farmed out to a relative as she can't be bothered doing the parenting herself.I just need a fairy godmother to give me an afternoon to myself every few weeks to recharge my batteries, I'm not looking for weekends away or a full day (but God I can dream...)

I know moan moan but who else but other mothers would understand?

Aragon Fri 01-Jul-05 08:15:29

Curtains,

Can you go swimming in the evenings? I find this great for some "me" time. It's the only thing which keeps me going some days ("this evening I'll be in the nice cool water at the Aqua Centre").

Worth thinking about if it's possible. I know what you mean about no time for yourself. I've only got 1 child and still find getting time to myself hard.

anorak Fri 01-Jul-05 08:32:18

won't your dh have them one Saturday so you can go out shopping/have hair done/go to gym/library/meet a friend for lunch?

Some gyms and libraries have creches you could use.

Maybe there's a reliable teenager near you who would babysit now and again?

basketcase Fri 01-Jul-05 08:39:51

Our local shopping mall has a great creche. Sometimes Dh and I drop them off there for an hour in the late afternoon and just go and sit in Marks and Sparks with a cuppa - bliss. Best tenner spent of the week.
I reckon it would be worth looking at other forms of childcare such as creches and other mums, playdates for your children with reliable mums etc. just to have a little time. Takes a bit of organising but is worth every single minute.
Alternatively, go out without DH and insist he babysits one night a week while you do anything else, just out of the house. Local gym, just a nice evening walk or meet up with friends etc. all helps you to get through the rest of the week.
I make sure I have an hour off each week well away from the kids as a minimum and it keeps me a little more human.

KatieinSpain Fri 01-Jul-05 08:46:22

Oh - I feel for you. There are periods when I have resentment bubbling on the back-burner. OK - realistically, the only way to get you-time and yes, you need it because you come back like a new person, is to plan it. Do you have visitors who could baby-sit? Do you go on holiday? If you do, choose one that offers clubs and or sitting as part of the deal.
I have a deal with a local friend: she helps out so I can take DS1 and 2 swimming and I give her Spanish classes. Then, I ask a friend's son (18 and an absolute darling) to come watch videos occasionally. Think, ask around locally, and commandeer DH too.
Go on - go for it and then, come back and tell us about those delicious minutes when you were doing something for you .

AnnaInManchester Fri 01-Jul-05 10:02:22

where are u curtains?

curtains Fri 01-Jul-05 19:47:06

I'm in Leeds.

FIMAC1 Fri 01-Jul-05 20:37:48

How about exchanging babysitting with other Mums at your childrens school? Try and get a group of you and work out the system for credits - one I knew used tap washers to use as token credits. I am sure there will be other Mums at the school who are in similar circumstances and would like a night off too. This could also work if you pick each others children up occasionally after school so you could get some hard-earned 'me' time

Good luck - from another Mum who rarely goes out and has forgotten what a break is!!!

albosmum Fri 01-Jul-05 20:41:26

Oh god - I know how you feel but i manage tiome to myself by going to the gym - child in creche other at school - sometimes i just have a sauna.

Plus i moan all the time about the same thing

curtains Fri 01-Jul-05 21:01:52

I know I should be more organised but I haven't the energy.

Just moaning - ignore me!

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