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Is this the right thing? Letting dad get on with it

5 replies

ILoveGregoryHouse · 29/10/2009 16:39

DS2 and DH are very different personalities. DS2 is 4.6. DH puts the boys to bed and DS1 is good as gold. DS2 is a bit lacksadasical (sp?) and takes his time, is a bit dreamy and distracted so doesn;t do everything at exactly the time DH wants him to. This usually leads to DS2 getting upset as his daddy gets cross with him, and he ends up with no story etc. This upsets me and I usually intervene to calm the situation. BUT, not doing it at the moment as I'm concerned the message to DS2 is that I'll always "rescue" him and am undermining DH. What do you folks think?

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ProfessorLaytonIsMyZombieSlave · 29/10/2009 16:44

I wouldn't intervene at the time, but I would discuss with DH later out of earshot.

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Pinkjenny · 29/10/2009 16:48

I think it's exactly what happens in my house, too. I think you're doing the right thing.

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ProfessorLaytonIsMyZombieSlave · 29/10/2009 16:50

(Actually, expanding on previous answer, if I thought DH was really hitting the end of his tether I probably would go in and help out, but not just for being cross)

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spudmasher · 29/10/2009 16:51

I have had a similar situation and I found it painful to watch. When I did intervene DH got the hump big time and went into his man cave for quite some time.
From then I have left well alone and DH has made good progress. He now has sussed for himself that positivity and a bit of a game work a lot better than nagging and warnings and taking away the nice things.
Everyone's self esteem is faring a lot better. It was the long way round but better for us I feel.
Every family is different.

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ILoveGregoryHouse · 30/10/2009 07:04

Thanks. I did speak to him and said that using humour and turning things into a game would help - he retorted that so did his "method" of not giving in. I did point out that the other way would get the same result quicker, though. I'll keep working on it but think, on reflection, the best way is for DH to get on with it and for me to drop little hints every so often rather than "nagging" him. Don't want him in that man-cave - he's a sulker (one of his very few faults,thankfully ).