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Parenting

Help! My DD 9yrs wants to be a model.....

64 replies

Pwsimerimew · 18/09/2009 08:49

How? What? When? WHere?
I have promised myself that I will support any dreams that my DC have for their future.(within reason of course)
When I was younger and wanted to be a policewoman/ airhostess/ hair dresser/ nanny - my dad used to burst my bubble by saying things like " You can't be a policewoman cos you're too short / airhostess cos you need lots of languages/ you'll be doing old men's hair all day..." anything to put me off, until I said I want to be a teacher. ( Hit the jackpot with that one - although I changed my mind in the end)
Anyway, this is basically why I've said that if my child wants to be a trolly collecter for Tesco, I'll support them as long as they're the best trolly collecter they can possibly be. Catch my drift?
So beautifull DD wants to be a model.
Know nothing of the industry, live out at the furthest end of Anglesey, but I'm willing to try for her, but don't know where to start. Have looked on two websites, one charges , the other one doesn't.....
Any pointers please?

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LilRedWG · 18/09/2009 08:54

There is a child modelling thread floating around somewhere.

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LilRedWG · 18/09/2009 08:55

Here.

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QuintessentialShadows · 18/09/2009 08:56

So, just because your father discouraged you from being an airhostess when you were a child, you want to support a 9 year old in becoming a model?

You know what I tell my 7 year old?

Do your best at school, and when you are old enough to chose a profession, you can do and be whatever you want.

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Pwsimerimew · 18/09/2009 09:20

Thanks LilRed.
I just want her to know that if she works hard and puts her mind to it, she can be, and do what ever she wants.
I'm not looking for a fight here.

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TheDMshouldbeRivened · 18/09/2009 09:27

Anglesey doesn't sound like the best place to be for modelling!
I don't know if I'd support my dd wanting to become a model because of the anorexia thing (plus drugs and smoking). I think I'd bombard her with The Beauty Myth and other feminist tracts

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seeker · 18/09/2009 09:27

She can be anything she wants if she works hard?

So working hard at school can ensure that she's 5'11' and size 6?

I do think supporting your children in their ambitions is incredibly important - but there are times for saying "I'm afraid that's not very likely, dear." My ds's ambition is to play football for England - I do not give him unrealistic expectations about the likelihood of this!

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TheDMshouldbeRivened · 18/09/2009 09:32

too right seeker. If dd2 decides she wants to be a tree surgeon its not likely is it. You have to work with what you have to be realistic.

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noddyholder · 18/09/2009 09:35

Far too young.She should be playing with her friends and not thinking about her looks

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QuintessentialShadows · 18/09/2009 09:35

sorry, I shoul have clarified that the context has never been lofty dreams such as becoming a superstar, a model, a hollywood actor, famous footballer, etc. I have never told my kids there are any fysiolagical reasons why they should not do certain jobs. I am not going to tell a 7 year old that his eyesight might not be good enough to be a pilote, because as far as I know there is nothing wrong with his eyes now, and we dont know that he wants to be a pilote at all.

The GIST of it is, that it is too EARLY to plan a future career now, but wait till later.

If the OP has aspirations that her beautiful daughter should be a child model, then she should say so, and not pretend it is her daughters dream she wants to try and pursue now.

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cory · 18/09/2009 09:36

My 9yo ds also wants to be a footballer; given that he has an incurable joint condition, I doubt any amount of hard work will get him there: the only place it would get him would be a hospital bed.

At 9, I think it is perfectly permissible to say 'yes, dear, quite' and not pay any attention. There is plenty of time to dream of more professions. By the time I got to secondary school, I had wanted to be a circus artist, an opera singer, a vet, a farmer, a missionary, a priest, a writer, an explorer up the Amazon, a herpetologist and a scholar. As it so happened, the last of those careers was right for me- but it might equally well not have been any of them.

Small children need the chance to try on lots of dreams without being tied to any one of them by too much support from their parent. If you jump into supporting her now, might she not feel that she has to stick to it, just because you expect her to?

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QuintessentialShadows · 18/09/2009 09:39

ahhh, cory says it so much better and so much sensibly than me...

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MadameCastafiore · 18/09/2009 09:40

Wait till she is 14 and see if she is tall, attractive and thin enough and then put your heart and soul into helping her.

But very few child models become successful adult models as they change so much at puberty and the time and effort you put into castings and travel etc really makes it finacially unfeasible especially if you live in the back of beyond.

Maybe you could take her to a drama club or something a little more realistic and suitable for a child?

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kreecherlivesupstairs · 18/09/2009 09:42

I'm laughing at this. We've had the same conversation with our dd. She is bright and able but not at all motivated. She did try modelling in Thailand, she was 'spotted' at a play group. Tell your daughter it is the most soul destroying, boring, demoralising thing to do. We had to be in Chatuchak park at the most undgodly hour of 5am. She was only 5 at the time (WWIT?). After about two hours of being fannyed around with and posing with her fake dad, she said she wanted to go home. I was happy to take her.
Could you take lots of photos of her and get her to model in your front room?

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cory · 18/09/2009 09:43

Agree that bursting the bubble is unnecessary.

My granddad foolishly put me off being a vet by telling me I would have to study human bones; as a sufferer from bad nightmares, I had a vision of myself with a skeleton in the wardrobe and realised I could not go through with this.

I later became an archaeologist and have slept quite comfortably with my head propped up against boxes of human bone. So that one was certainly a bit unnecessary.

But there is plenty of room between the unnecessary bursting of bubbles and rushing out to actually organise your child's career based on something they say when they are 9. Agree with Quint, if you want your dd to be a child model, you should take the responsibility for that yourself.

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Buda · 18/09/2009 09:49

Agree this is the time to say 'yes dear, when you are older'.

I wanted to be a model too. And a florist. And an air hostess. And a vision mixer (my dad worked in TV!). And a teacher.

DS who is 8 has his careers all planned. He will play professional football for Arsenal from age 16. Then he will transfer to Liverpool. Then he will become a wrestler. Then he will either be a waiter or an interior designer. He will own lots of cars, a private jet and 8 dogs.

I say 'yes dear and don't forget to look after your old mum'.

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PortAndLemon · 18/09/2009 09:58

Are you talking about modelling when she's older, rather than child modelling now?

Getting modelling assignments while based in Anglesey is going to be tricky. If accepted by an agency, you'd probably be looking at travelling to Cardiff for castings, so if you were lucky a nine hour or so round trip every few weeks just to be seen along with dozens of other children with no guarantee of any work.

I would maybe be trying to steer her towards (if academic) studying to get a university place in one of the big cities (possibly London) where she could be based while trying to establish herself in modelling. Brainstorm around associated fields that might interest her -- say, studying fashion design or textiles or similar, or would she be interested in acting and trying for a place at drama school?

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RumourOfAHurricane · 18/09/2009 09:59

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QuintessentialShadows · 18/09/2009 09:59

My son at the moment just wants to be a postman!

I dont know how to encourage and help him along just now.

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overmydeadbody · 18/09/2009 10:03

She's 9. You don't need to encourage it, unless she wants to be a child model eight now and she has a reasonable change of succeeding at it.

Doesn't every girl go through a phase of dreaming they will be a model?

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RumourOfAHurricane · 18/09/2009 10:03

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overmydeadbody · 18/09/2009 10:06

I agree shiny, about having expectations for children. I think I would have done better for myself if my parets had pushed me harder instead of always saying "just do whatever makes you happy, follow your heart". That's all very well but I wish thwey had said "do what makes the most money" instead, they I would have become a doctor.

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dogonpoints · 18/09/2009 10:08

She's 9. Why does she have to start modelling now?

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QuintessentialShadows · 18/09/2009 10:10

Shine - we DO! We make him walk for miles nearly every day!

Joking aside, keeping a child fit and healthy, is always a good idea.

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Pwsimerimew · 18/09/2009 10:29

Can't stop laughing! I've already told my daughter how hard it is and even though she's beautiful, she might not have the right hair/ knees/ nose for the job. I'm not stupid! I kow that this is what she wants to do THIS WEEK. A month ago she was going to be a teacher during the week and a nanny at the weekends!
All I was looking for really was recommendation for a reputable (SP ?) on-line agency , that I could send a few photos , not let her get her hopes up, and when the email comes back saying she's not been accepted, then she know's we tried! ( Albeit a little)
As for it being my dream for her - hahahahahaha! I'm 5'2" - must be a subconcious thing!
Thanks for all your replies - but rest assured, I'm not a pushy mam, I'm not a pushover either and she doesn't get everything she wants!
I've plans on her becoming Prime Minister and solve all the worlds' problems anyway....

OP posts:
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LilRedWG · 18/09/2009 10:33
Grin
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