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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

Oh lordy lordy, what do we do about his willy???

93 replies

MrsMerryHenry · 14/09/2009 18:13

DS is potty trained. Huzzah!!!

Now that he's in pants he's discovered the joys of fooling around with his willy. Which is fine. But having turned a blind eye to his fooling and feeling for the past 2 months or so we now feel it's time to set some boundaries, such as:

pulling your willy up out of your jeans and leaving it poking above your waistband is simply not socially acceptable, darling

keeping your hand down your pants 50% of the time is welllllll a bit too often

Heeeeelp! Do they grow out of this level of initial fascination of their own accord? Have any of you had success stories with setting 'guidelines for the handling of a toddler's todger'?

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HecatesTwopenceworth · 14/09/2009 18:17

no. They never grow out of it. (why do you think men spend so much time with their hands in their pockets?). All you can do is keep telling him to do it in private and try to distract him when he's ferreting about.

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Singstar · 14/09/2009 18:26

Well all I can so is that I hope so - my youngest is pretty obsessed with his although he thinks he is a pretty clever fella as he puts his hands down in pj trousers and then says 'hee hee but you can't see me doing it !! when I'm telling him not to do it"

I do tend to try and ignore him/it when he's doing it (although when he did get willy out in the middle of Tesco's I have to admit it was a little difficult to do that) Thing is sometimes it is quite funny when they do stuff and also I think boys/men are always going to be a little bit obsessed with their willies. I'm hoping it'll all be forgotten as he gets more interested in nursery etc (fingers crossed !)

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donnie · 14/09/2009 18:28

it ain't just the boys you know......

dd2 is 4 and in love with her vag. Forever flashing it, poking around in it, trying to look at it and stuff......it ain't just the boys!

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MrsMerryHenry · 14/09/2009 21:37

It is hilarious. At the dinner table the other day (whilst sitting next to a friend) he bent over, hands and fork out of sight. I peered down to see what he was getting up to and yep, you guessed it. He was busy trying to get one of the prongs up his foreskin. Well, what else would you do with a fork?

But guys, funny though your stories are, you're not helping! I don't want to laugh, I want a solution!! I remember once reading on here that some mums tell their kids 'it's fine in your bedroom but not in front of other people'. But that seems somehow too harsh for a barely under-3. I don't know what to dooooo!

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moodlumthehoodlum · 14/09/2009 21:40

LOL at this thread.

DS is thrilled with his willy, and has been since he discovered it at a similar age to your ds. Such hilarity as fork vs willy we have yet to have though, I will admit.

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Hormonesnomore · 14/09/2009 21:41

Errrm, keep distracting him? I think the more you mention it, the more he thinks about it iyswim. Whenever you notice him playing about with it, draw his attention to something else & keep those hands busy!

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CarGirl · 14/09/2009 21:42

I remember one Mner said, view like them picking their noses "stop it" end of.

I only have girls so have never had the opportunity to try out this pearl of wisdom.

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MrsMerryHenry · 14/09/2009 21:49

Hormones - actually we mention it very rarely only because we don't want to make it a big deal, so all the stuff is internal!

Cargirl - erm, yes - picking noses. We've ignored that one too. Eugh, just imagine those hands: willy to nostril to willy to nostril to willy...

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CarGirl · 14/09/2009 21:50

"one doesn't do that in public dahrlinggggggggg"

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DrNortherner · 14/09/2009 21:52

LOL my ds is seven and still fascinated with it. He knows now it is rude in public but that does not stop him when he is home.....he has now perfected the art of willy windmills and does this before every bath/showe

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runnervt · 14/09/2009 21:57

we had a very similar situation with ds1 and tried to ignore it for months. In the end we came to an agreement that he could fiddle in the house but not when we were out. I really didn't think it would work but it has and he does respond well to being told to take his hand out his pants. I just ignore his willy poking out the top of his pants at home

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ADriedFrogForTheBursar · 14/09/2009 22:01

ROFL Northener. Willy windmills!!

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Northumberlandlass · 15/09/2009 08:02

Hello Mrs Merryhenry ! ah, the old willy problem AGAIN. My DS now (just) 6 is obsessed! Watching telly, drifting off to sleep, one hand behind his head, the other down his pants.....My DH reckons it is security ?!?
Anyway, DS used to be a lot worse and we eventually said to him. "Darling, It is perfectly ok to play with your willy, but we or anyone else really don't want to watch you. Save it until you are alone in your room and not in public".

It worked. Although every so often DS will announce (to anyone who is present in our house) that he is going to his room to play with his willy !!

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kreecherlivesupstairs · 15/09/2009 08:02

Boxing gloves could be the answer to your prayers.

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missingtheaction · 15/09/2009 08:16

It never ends. My friend's ds aged 15 at grown up family dinner announced into a sudden lull in the conversation 'I had my first wet dream last night'.

Don't worry though; from seeing the damn thing every day for years they will suddenly start hiding it and you will never actually see it again. I can only assume my ds still has one and the pubic hair to go with it - haven't seen it since he was about 10. A GOOD thing.

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earlyriser · 15/09/2009 08:29

oh my, this has cheered up my morning! My ds (2) is also obsessed and when we are reading stories on the sofa will fiddle until it goes hard. He also likes his cuddly toy to 'stroke' his willy! but as donnie said, my dd (4) is very obsessed with her vagina too, always having a poke around

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MrsMerryHenry · 16/09/2009 11:37

Oh good gracious earlyriser I do hope your DS doesn't 'poke' forks into hers as well!!

PMSL at so many of your posts, I can't mention them all. Thanks for making me laugh, at least, ladies!

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smittenkitten · 16/09/2009 11:41

my DS (3) thinks it's hilarious to take his out and poke me with it. if i try and protest he thinks it's funny and does it even more!!!!

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earlyriser · 16/09/2009 11:59

we'll have such fun reminding them of all this when they bring their girl/boyfriends round for the first time

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earlyriser · 16/09/2009 12:00

No no forks. But she has taken to mooning when out and about . I blame her father!

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BalloonSlayer · 16/09/2009 12:22

DS1 was traumatised the first time he noticed he had a stiff willy. He must have been about 4.

"Oh Noooo, Mummmeeee," he wailed. "My willy! It's TOO BIG!"

(wonder if he'll still think that when he's grown up)

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PolkSaladLucie · 16/09/2009 12:27

My 31 yeard old husband holds on to his winkle as he falls asleep - for security./ He says he has always done it, and doesn't see why he should have to stop.

Apparantly when they were younger, his nan would tell him and his brother that if they played with it, they'd all over it.

Think he's still waiting for that to happen!!!

OMG at the fork!!!

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SolidGoldBrass · 16/09/2009 13:00

Yes, my DS does it too. He got it out at the tram stop a couple of weeks ago ('Look! WILLEEEE!') I have been telling him that he can play with it at home but not when we are out.
After last week, when his dad's friend came round and was apparently treated to a similar display we have had to amend the rule to 'You can play with it at home but not in front of visitors!'

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GiPi1 · 16/09/2009 13:25

Hi - my ds still "fiddles" with his especially in his pjs (he is 7) - he invariably has his hand down in pj bottoms whilst watching the tv - I have always just ignored it and not made any issue of it at all and, I think, because I haven't made an issue of it my ds doesn't bother with showing it off !!! I also have a little girl aged 5 and she has no fascination over her brothers willy and likewise he has no interest in her - they both run around naked and have had baths together until recently (they are too big to fit in the bath together now).

I believe that if you don't make an "issue" it does not become the "main subject or interest" and he will stop showing it around. Hope that makes sense and hope it helps !!!

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phlossie · 16/09/2009 13:26

I really really don't think it's a big deal. Really. My little angel (3.7yo) plays with his willy all the time and went through a phase of sticking it out of his waist band. He's moved on now, though... to being completely naked most of the time (apparantly he's a mummy cat and mummy cats don't wear clothes over their fur), so I get that charming sight of willy and balls hanging down through his legs AND his chocolate starfish winking at me.

But he doesn't do it at pre-school, so he's starting to understand social boundaries.

I caught my daughter poking her brother's willy, though, so I have had a talk about keeping private parts private. But other than that I ignore it. And I've recently noticed my own father 'adjusting' himself, so what would be the point?