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Would it be madness for me to have another baby when...

(7 Posts)
TheBolter Sun 13-Sep-09 20:57:50

I don't like being pregnant (ended up on crutches with dd2)
I'm terrified of childbirth
I need my sleep
I had mild pnd for ages after both births
I'm really enjoying dd1 and dd2 now they're older
Even though they're cute, I do get impatient with toddlers
I don't like toddler groups
I find baby topics quite boring
I'll probably want to go full time in a few years' time
We aren't loaded but we have enough and another baby will mean childcare payments for x more years
I dream of a relaxing holiday and I think it's within sights grin
My mum won't want to babysit for three (they stay at her house) and I must admit I really appreciate the free overnight babysitting!
I like wine
I like going out
Umm, I don't want to put any more weight on

I think I've answered the question and probably sound really selfish.

So why on earth can I not put the thought out of my head that I 'should' have another one day?

Dh and I are both from large families, and I like the thought of a large family but I just don't know if it's for me.

I terrified that I may live to regret not going for the third.

Has anyone else had a similar experience who decided to stop at two? Anyone else going through the same dilemma?

dinkystinky Sun 13-Sep-09 21:01:39

Yes - though if you feel your family is incomplete, have you thought about adopting? Or getting a pet?

I currently have 2 and would love to have 3 - I like wine, like going out, hate being overweight but also absolutely love being pregnant and think the joys of having babies/toddlers around just above outweighs the downers and am not scared of childbirth. I think you need to decide if its really a third child you want or if its really just the idea of a third child you dont want to let go of as you dont like the idea of never snuggling another newborn on the sofa for hours on end.

TheBolter Sun 13-Sep-09 21:07:29

dinky - thanks for your reply.

I have actually got a cat who I jokingly refer to as my third dd (oh dear I sound a bit Liz Jones don't I? grin).

I had a pregnancy scare last month, despite being on the trustworthy Mirena, and the thought of being pregnant terrified me. I was elated to finally get my period. I think if I wanted a third that much I'd have been secretly disappointed.

dinkystinky Sun 13-Sep-09 21:13:34

Stick with the cat TheBolter - fewer sleepless nights that way wink

I think your reaction to your scare really does say it all - though if you really do feel like you'd love another child and its the whole pregnancy thing that puts you off, adoption really is worth considering.

wonderingwondering Sun 13-Sep-09 21:16:58

I'm from a large family and that is the one factor that makes me think about a third - but all the reasons you list a pretty much why we're stopping at 2! But I do make sure my two see their cousins a lot, so they do benefit from being in a larger (extended) family, and I hope they'll be close as they grow up.

TheBolter Sun 13-Sep-09 21:17:52

Well, yes, it is an idea I've considered and who knows one day it may be the way forward. DH and I often joke that we could quite happily miss the first 2-3 years!

TheBolter Sun 13-Sep-09 21:21:38

wondering, thanks for your input. My two have three close cousins so far and our families live locally.

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