how do u get yr baby to nap when u have yr 2.8 yr old with u?

[nzbabies]

I am finding this the hardest thing! V. stressful. Not sure how to do it. Other problem is that I don't want to leave baby to cry (she is 4 months) so I breast-feed/rock/ push in pushchair. The breast-feeding and rocking can take up to an hour which of course means my 2.8 yr old DS gets fed up and wants me. He has just dropped his daysleep too.
Pushing in pushchair is okay except that she can be woken up easily, so her sleeps are short.
I have looked at Gina Ford and wished I had a baby I could just put down to sleep at the right times and therefore it would only take 10 mins or whatever and therefore not bother my DS. But I find it hard to stick to times as I need to take my DS out to playgroups etc. Plus she is now used to being helped to sleep so I'm not sure I can get her going to sleep without that help without her crying. Or can I?!
Any ideas? (sorry - this is long!)

[ibangthedrums]

I had/have a smiliar problem. The best thing I have found is to have a vague sort of structure to the day so you sort of know when to expect naps/feeds. This is hard when you have toddler things to do but at I find DS2 also 4 months is distracted enough by the toddler shennanigans if he won't go to sleep to stop him going into meltdown. He then crashes out in the car/pram later.

I just plan the day around what needs doing that day i.e we are mostly in the house of a morning nap so if we are out and about I make that longer than normal and then plan on a long late afternoon nap if we will be home by then. My main aim is enough to stop him crying and to get us to bedtime.

I also followed the baby whisperer advice re shush pat etc to help him settle without rocking/feeding. I used the time DS1 is at nursery or DH/family is around to really encourage DS2 to self settle but I realise you may not have this time?

[nzbabies]

Hi, thanks - i could try to get her to self-settle through shush-pat - I have tried and it worked once when she was much smaller. Since then I have tried putting her down half-awake after feeding/rocking but if she starts to cry again I pick her up and start all over again - that's why it often takes so long! How have you found doing shush-pat? Did it take a lot of tries before it worked without much crying? Does your baby now settle without crying? Can you tell me how you did it?! Thanks!
DS doesn't go to nursery or anything but DH is here in the mornings for the morning nap so I could practice then.

[bigchris]

I used to put cbeebeis on for ds staright after lunch adn the attempt to get dd to sleep
or take them both out in double pushchair and hope dd fell asleep
then go to park so dd could sleep under a tree and ds could wear himself ragged

[ibangthedrums]

I went from rocking to sleep to putting him down when he was due (2 hours awake or when yawning/crying -that's when a bit of structure does help!) to using sush pat to get him to sleep in his moses basket. I started by rocking then putting him down sleepy and rubbing his tummy and saying shush and only lifting him out when he really would not settle.

After a week or more of that when he would settle in the basket with my help, I then started trying to leave him after a bit of shush pat. I let him moan a bit (not cry!).

Over a month or so he learned to self settle although it does not happen every nap time - we use Cbeebies then!

Also, I was determined thet I would not be tied to naps in the cot, but we had nightmare naps when he was newborn but putting him in his cot really made a world of difference.

[morocco]

I highly recommend buying a sling/pouch to carry the baby round in instead of trying to put down for naps. don't get one of those front carriers though, get a proper sling that the baby can fall asleep comfortably in. simply pop baby in, get on with life, hands free and ready to play with toddler, feed toddler, make lunch, cook tea (well - got to be a bit careful there with hot stuff) - if you practise you can also get the hang of bf while baby is in sling. it will transform your life honest!

[Mybox]

I just carried the smallest with me as I looked after my 2yr old '& others). I bf on demand & she/he would feed & sleep in my arms and the other little ones would not notice she was there. I do have strong arms now!

[becktay]

second the sling idea or perhaps a dummy?
I know how you feel as my 4 month old's nap time is when I get a bit of full focus on DS1.

[nzbabies]

thanks for all the suggestions - its helpful. I did use a sling when she was younger for all her naps and it was great but now I find her too heavy as i have back problems. I might persist with shush-pat, or look in the No-cry-sleep-solution. It sounds like its hard but you just find ways to get them sleep!