Does anyone have children who don't go to bed well when you stay anywhere other than home?

[LucyJones]

My 2 have started being real pains at bedtime, especially nearly 3 yr old dd

At inlaws they have to share a room and last night were up until nearly midnight, refusing to go to bed, just messing about in general

That wouldn't be so bad (they're excited on holiday, chillax blah blah) but then older ds (5) woke up at 6am and woke dd up so they are just really grumpy all day which makes me and dh grumpy and it is already hell on wheels styaing at inlaws

I feel like throwing the towel in and not visiting family but that's crap because both sets of paretsn live nowhere near us

[Aranea]

Yes, my dd1 is exactly the same. Actually to be fair, now that she's 4.8 she is much better. But it always used to be a nightmare staying over at people's houses. She would be so excited that she couldn't go to sleep, and would be desperate to come down and see everyone. And then would wake up really early desperately wanting to see everyone again. And then would be tired and miserable for the rest of the day.

I have no words of wisdom because I never solved it I'm afraid. But she is much much better now, so maybe it's just a case of waiting till your younger one gets the hang of it. I feel your pain.

[LucyJones]

We're meant to be going to inlaws for Christmas and the thought of spending my Chrsitmas putting them back to bed and yelling at them over and over again does not appeal!
It is tempting for me to sleep with dd and ds share the double bed with dh but that feels like lettign them win and a bit daft really.
Thanks for your reply I am praying it is just a matter of tiem...

[FiveGoMadInDorset]

Yes, the only way we have resolved it is DD goes to bed in our bed and then we can either move her, or one of us sleeps with her and the other gets a decent nights kip.

[LucyJones]

it's a pain if they are like this at hoem but when it's in front of other people I just feel like I'm a crap parent and being judged

like in a couple of weeks we are going to my parents and my mum has offered to babysit while me and dh go out for a meal

but how can I leave my mum with a dd who gets up 50 times for 2 hours? my mum will not enjoy that! she likes an early night unlike dd, grrrr

[Aranea]

Yes, it's the sense of being judged that makes it all so much worse, isn't it? I always used to feel that at the inlaws' house. And at a couple of friends' houses, too... once when dd was about 2 I gave up and brought her downstairs as it was becoming clear that I wouldn't get any dinner otherwise, and my friend started making comments about how I should just ignore her and not letting her do anything fun so that she didn't learn that it was worth making such a fuss. It really got to me, as I felt it was nicer to have a happy occupied child around than a bored grumpy one, and I didn't really feel it was an ongoing parenting issue.

I so sympathise about spending Christmas away. It is just exhausting and you spend the whole time feeling embarrassed and defensive. Maybe you need to plan for the dcs to be up with the adults, and then factor in some nice long drives mid-morning the following day?

[CarGirl]

we often split ours up too, one goes in our bed until they are both asleep. We've got 4 dc and have rarely stayed anywhere/been holiday and this is one of the reasons why, STRESS!