Dummies: friend or foe?

[montymoo]

With a 5 week old DS that never sleeps for more than 2 hours at a time, DH has suggested a dummy might help. I can see it may well comfort DS, but I can also see the negative sides (ie grown children still using them and if he loses it in the night, is it going to create more crying?) and am reluctant to start something I will then have to battle to put a stop to a short while later. Is my dislike of dummies totally irrational or are they a godsend? Your experiences appreciated.

[HecatesTwopenceworth]

When I was pregnant with ds1 I said to anyone who would listen (or pretend to) "My child will never have a dummy" (and many other pearls you only hear from childless people! )

I lasted less than a week!

When ds2 was due, I packed dummies into my hospital case!!

Funny thing is, ds1 loved his dummies, always had one on the go, used to hold half a dozen in his hands! ds2 sucked half heartedly and was forever throwing them down.

Getting ds1 off them was a bugger. We just had to throw them all in the bin one day and suffer the screaming! The first night was the worst, but after a week he was over it. ds2 didn't really give a shit!

It all happened years ago now and I remember it all as no big deal tbh. He liked them, he was weaned off them, he forgot about them and we all moved on to another chapter.

[Billy2Rivers]

I wouldn't worry, i was similarly against dummies (or my mum was and it rubbed off on me) but my daughter likes to have one to sleep. She only has it to sleep though, not during the day. She does lose it in the night and wake up and we have to go and see her though, but I can't say if it would be different if she'd never had one. She is 10 months old now, and I'm not sure when to wean her off it. Some people have said that babies go off them on their own, so hopefully that may happen, or when they are a bit older you can encourage them not to use one by explaining they are too old or something. We'll see! I do think that some babies are 'sucky' babies and like to have one. You may find that yours doesn't want one anyway!

[asdx2]

I hated them before my first and still hate them after my fifth and can't bear to see them in babies' mouths and even worse toddlers yuk.
Would say when I had my first midwife did say I would be a better woman than she was if I didn't give PFB a dummy because he cried constantly instead I invested in a sling and wore him for three months instaed.
After that experience I was confident I'd never need a dummy and didn't.
At five weeks he's doing pretty much what you'd expect so you could end up with a dummy and still have no more sleep.
Up to you of course but I'd hold out for a week or two as things may change.

[StinkyFart]

Both of mine had dummies to get through that dreadful sucky thing when I had vile cracked nipples and could not bear to have the baby on me for longer than neccessary

Took them away at I think 8 months and 5 months

Mind you on reflection that was a istake becasue they started to thiumbsuck and now need orthodonctic work to rectify

sigh

[Rosieeo]

Friend! My babies like to suck, bless them.

I was quite strict about it and only used them for naps and bedtime. When dd was 3 I asked her when she was going to stop having her dummy; she said 'tonight' and hasn't had once since. Her teeth are fine.

Ds still has one (5 months) but he's a good little sleeper and doesn't wake up for it once he's asleep. Dd did, but I think she would have woken anyhow.

You can't win really, can you? If you're knackered, maybe it's worth a go.

[kilo]

hi there, i'm in a very similar position, with a 5 week old DS who gets hysterical when overtired and can't be comforted by anything except sucking someone's finger (can't seem to co-ordinate sucking his own). after alot of soul-searching and discussions with DH about possible consequences of dummies, i caved and gave him one a few days ago. i wouldn't necessarily say it's been 'the answer', because you still have to hold it in his mouth and there's all the sterilising, BUT it does calm him when hysterical, which means he then responds better to other methods of getting him off to sleep. i have tried the sling but it kills my back and c-section after an hour or so. at the end of the day, i decided whatever helps me keep my sanity is ok. some babies are 'sucky' and we are only using it as a last resort when all other methods of calming have failed, so we're not even using it every day. i reckon don't be scared to try it, he won't get hooked after just one go, as they take a few days to get the hang of it anyway, and if you then think it's the wrong decision it's not a big deal to take it away.

[klm1970]

Friend! My 5 month old really loved his dummy, and it was a great help settling him in the early weeks. It would help him go to sleep and we never put it back in if it fell out. At about 12 weeks he discovered his thumb, and has never looked back! Can't say when I last used a dummy.... Having said that, I wouldn't mind if he did still like his dummy, because when he's over-tired, he won't find his thumb, won't take a dummy, and I have to find sth else to calm him down. His tastes change every week (all of his "wind-down" toys have only seemed to calm him for about a week, after which point they become "wind-up" toys and he goes bonkers with excitement at seeing them!) - this week sucking on a flannel seems to be doing the trick! Re orthodontic work later - that's later, and I am hoping he will grow out of the thumb-sucking the way he dropped the dummy, if not, I'll have to find something, for now I have decided not to worry!
Get a dummy and get some peace, likely it's only a phase, and if not, I am sure there are threads on this site with tips for dummy-weaning.

[woozlet]

5 weeks was when we gave ds a dummy out of desperation, he just wouldn't settle and I sent dh out to asda for one! It helped a bit but he wasn't that fussed on it. Now he needs it to sleep though and I am up a couple of times a night looking for the bloody thing. He's 6 months old and I am hoping he stops needing it himself.

[stuffitlllama]

Friend. You can take it away unlike a thumb. Two without, one with. Ignore the judge's gavel.

[HarryB]

Definitely friend. DS only has his for naps and just since the past month. It took me all this time to cave (he's 7 months), but I'm glad I did. I was exhausted rocking him for an hour+ to settle him, when a dummy does it in seconds.

Like others, I don't like to see toddlers walking around or speaking with a dummy in. I don't know why, I guess, it just looks like they are unable to express themselves freely.

[katiestar]

Ugly and chavvy , in a baby and even worse in a toddler.Don't do it !!!

[HarryB]

Katie, I don't think it's chavvy. When used correctly - to settle, rather than shut up - a dummy can be a godsend.