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Under pressure to let 2 year old sleep away from home

(17 Posts)
Loulou21 Sat 08-Aug-09 20:43:03

Help. My dh wants dd1 who is 2 to stay at his mums. I feel pressure as she is on her own apart from her dog that she strugges to control and lives in the middle of nowhere. What would be a reasonable age as i know as soon as i let her go it will be a regular occurence.

McDreamy Sat 08-Aug-09 20:44:22

Not with a dog she can't control, that would be the finisher for me.

Meglet Sat 08-Aug-09 20:45:47

agree with mcdreamy.

K999 Sat 08-Aug-09 20:46:04

I agree with McDreamy. THere is no point anyway as if you are not comfortable with this kind of arrangement you would only worry about her the whole time, so not worth it imo..smile

Washersaurus Sat 08-Aug-09 20:48:54

I'm holding out for when my 2 are old enough to say that they want to stay over at GP's grin, I'm not popular for that decision though.

DS1 (4yo) is probably old enough, but when it has been mentioned to him he hasn't really seemed keen - he is a creature of habit and doesn't like changes to routine.

Gateau Mon 10-Aug-09 13:13:45

I felt a bit under pressure from my inlaws to have DS to stay. They kept saying how much they wanted him to stay, but also how important it was that he was used to staying there before the arrival of DC2 (due in Oct) when he might feel shunted off otherwise.
He first went when he was 2.1 and has been once since then. It has gone really well both times.
Now they want to have him again but we are reluctant - at the moment - because we are trying to establish a consistent bedtime routine - that work - and we don't think the GPs will adhere to it, which will inevitably put it all backwards. And the GPs aren't pleased because I think they feel we don't trust them to carry out our wishes - which we don't really, for various reasons.
But tough; it's up to the parents. Go with what you feel comfortbable with. In your case, I certainly would not be comfortable.

merrymonsters Mon 10-Aug-09 16:21:26

I think 2 is a bit young for me, but I certainly wouldn't allow it with the uncontrollable dog.

JRocks Mon 10-Aug-09 16:26:28

You shouldn't feel pressured into this, if it makes you uncomfortable then don't do it. My DS has stayed over with both sets of grandparents from quite an early age, but only because I was happy with it, I certainly don't think it's right for everyone.

piscesmoon Mon 10-Aug-09 16:33:44

I think it is lovely for DCs and the grandparents to build up a relationship without you-it just becomes home from home. Mine did it before 2 yrs. However I wouldn't do it with an uncontrolled dog.

choppychopster Mon 10-Aug-09 16:35:52

It depends what you feel comfortable with. DD stayed overnight with both sets of GPs from 3 or 4 months old, but I was very confident in their ability to look after her (and by that point she was sleeping through the night pretty reliably - I wouldn't have left her if they were going to have to keep getting up for her). I have to say that I'm really grateful, especially to my PIL, that they are able to look after her overnight occassionally (usually about once a month) - it's lovely to be able to have a night out with DH and a lie-in the next morning. grin

That said, I wouldn't be happy about leaving DD with an unreliable dog around. What do you do about the dog when you visit?

daisydora Mon 10-Aug-09 16:39:22

DD stayed at my mums at 9 months (now 3), DS stopped last week for the first time at 8 months.

Its one of those things that you need to do when you feel comfortable. Otherwise you will spend the whole time fretting. I might also add that my mum totally follows my routine for the DC's. If I thought she wouldn't then they wouldn't go.

The dog would be a big issue for me though, no way would mine stay if the dog was inside.

choppychopster Mon 10-Aug-09 16:39:24

Oh, and as picesmoon says, it's great for DD to develop a relationship with her GPs. She gets very excited about staying over and sleeping in her special bed. No doubt she gets spoilt rotten there!

RedDeadFail Mon 10-Aug-09 16:41:50

If you're not comfortable, what's the point? You'd only let her stay so that you could enjoy yourself surely and if you're going to worry the entire time, it's not worth it.

DD is 2.3 and there's not a chance I'd let her stay elsewhere overnight. I've maintained that when she is old enough to understand it and agree to it then she can. She understands the concept but says no to staying without mummy and daddy staying too. So it can wait.

juicy12 Mon 10-Aug-09 16:59:52

The dog would be the nail in the coffin for me, but I am biased. My DC went to stay with a close relative of mine about 5 miles away. The relative has an obedient, well-trained, quiet dog, who, even I as a dog-hater, don't mind! However, I later found that the DC (5 and 2) had slept together in a double-bed (fine) with my relative on a camp bed on the floor in the room, along with the dog. My relative thought it would be a fun adventure and "fun" to tell me about it given my fear of dogs hmm Anyway, no-one got hurt, and OP, I'm not suggesting for a minute that that would happen, obviously. If you're at all worried about the dog, surely it's not worth it?

jellybeans Mon 10-Aug-09 17:03:49

Don't do it if you are not comfortable.

Horton Mon 10-Aug-09 17:29:48

The dog would be a total no for me. DD is 2.11 and has not yet stayed over at her grandparents despite heavy hints. I will think it is time when she thinks it is a good idea and not before. At the moment she reacts with horror to the idea!

MovingOutOfBlighty Mon 10-Aug-09 17:31:36

If you are not comfortable then no.

Personally, I practically threw my dcs at their GPs from the age of 8 months and enjoyed every minute of the 'me time'.

But would not like the dog thing though.

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